Tag: Discipline

Meenakshi Agrawal published in Articles, Blogs

Help your child do better in studies.

Help your child do better in studies

Educationists always wonder about the percentage of the pupils who are not regular in their work and often miss homework. There is no magic wand that can be used by either the parents or the teachers. So what is it that creates such a huge gap between performers and non performers even though there is not much difference in the potential of both the categories?

The answer is motivation, discipline and punctuality. Helping your child to excel in studies doesn’t need complicated theories or deluxe teaching aids.  All it requires is a structure and conscious adherence to it on the part of both the parents and the children. 

  1. Be an involved parent and cultivate trust with your child-  When it comes to studies, teachers opine that the involved parents are like the backbone providing support to the children. When children understand that their parents’ value education, it conditions their mind to follow that path. 

          Children who trust their parents and enjoy good relationships with them have more confidence and are able to succeed.

  • Be a role model-  Children learn and imitate behaviors by observing and listening. They do what they ‘see’, not what they are ‘told’. If parents model good reading habits and culture at home, children are surely going to follow.
  • Help your children cultivate self-discipline- When children are exposed to following routines and instructions, they are more aware and open to cultivate self discipline.
  1. Create a schedule-  Creating a schedule is like providing a structure, setting the boundaries and expectations before the mind goes stray.  Whatever the age, a child should be involved in the making of the schedule and it should be realistic.
  2. Regular monitoring- Monitoring will keep the parent and child in loop  about the homework, revisions and new learnings.
  3.  Avoid absenteeism– A child is not burdened with pending assignments and submissions if  he/she is regular to school and punctual in homework. By following this they get ample rest and play time.
  4. Praise the effort- Celebrate all aspects of school achievements and efforts equally. When the parent is involved in studies, they understand the child’s effort in each step. Do not wait for the year end result. Award the efforts  which in turn motivates the child to continue the efforts and achieve desired success at the end of the year.
  5. Talk beyond the books– Study time need not be restricted to books and school work only. Engage your children in conversations pertaining to books, Movies, TV Programs, current affairs etc.  It broadens their outlook and elevates self confidence. Knowledge is power.
  6.  Attend parent teacher meetings- Make it a priority to attend all meetings and discuss your ward’s studies, activities and areas of improvement.
  7.  Spend time with your children- Consciously spend quality time with your children. 
  • Have meals with them.
  • Have one on one time with them, without any gadgets or other distraction.
  • Talk about and get involved in their interests and activities. 
  • Have positive talk about teachers and school authorities-  Express respect, confidence and trust in school teachers and the administration. Talk about them in a positive tone. Children look up to their teachers with respect and admiration which encourages them to perform well . If you have any concerns, use your wisdom whether to discuss it in front of the child or it can be avoided.
  • I hope this article helps in providing a structure and flow to both the parents as well as children and they achieve their full potential.                           ‘ Either you run the day, or the day runs you’ —– Jim Rohan

 

Author

Meenakshi Agrawal

Follow on Instagram @parentingwithmeenakshi

 

  • no reactions
0
0 Share
Santosh Bakhshi published in Blogs

Dad Discipline v/s Mom Discipline

Dad Discipline v/s Mom Discipline

A Topic Seldom discussed by Parents!

 

Back in my childhood, Dad worked from 10 am to midnight. Mom was the ‘YellBox’ and when yelling didn’t work, she was the Chhittar Champion Rani, always ranking 1st in society. But when even that failed to work. — “Papa ko aane do, Daant padegi tab seedha hoga”. was the Final Warning – An Indian Patent Disciplinary Sentence proudly used for years by Indian Mothers .

This was the Final Frontier in Discipline and then Dad walked into the scene. Dad just had a look that was accompanied by deafening silence. That look meant “Feel my power”! 

Is it the same today? is there a difference between Mother and Father Discipline? Should there be a difference and how does it account for? Researchers suggest that Father and Mother discipline do differ. This has been now noted and in an unpredictable way. The indication is that children are more immediately influenced by their mothers, but that as they grow older, their father’s disciplinary practices through the years are deeply correlated with their social behavior.

 “Father Effect” as it is called, a difficult topic to be discussed in most Indian Households. Having discussed this topic with many Dads I have been astonished to know that the Dads are awkward to discuss this, Yes, even the CEO DAD!

Physical contact, nurturing, reassurance – remains difficult or not expressed much.

As each day unfolds with more uncertainties for a family today, compared to the ‘Certainty chart’ of family routine and behavior being followed upto early 2000, The traditional father as the head of the home now does not carry the acceptance as it once did. Say Researches. Modern dads might yell or be distant, but that’s no longer accepted as a norm. Children today have a substantively different concept of what a father’s role is supposed to be.

For example, it has come to light after many kinds of research, over changing times and after analyzing different cultures, that, Mothers tend to discipline kids more because they care about their social relationship with their child. That’s why mothers are more likely to take misbehavior personally and in return of which, kids are primed to react more emotionally. Dads are diagonally different here, they tend to discipline because they want their children to grow up to do well in the world and not get denied opportunities. In other words, the impact of paternal discipline may show up later in life because that’s actually the intent.

Thus, Rejection from fathers today contributes to adolescent wariness in social situations in ways that other family relationships do not. Whether harsh and rejecting or empathetic and nurturing, the scientific consensus is that dad discipline does have a substantive impact which is Slow and reflected upon when the child grows up and is out there on her/his own.

This difference is very important to be understood by the Parents themselves.

Most of the misery for the child lies in the fact that each parent wants the other parent to discipline the child, as they do. A very close family member enlightened me on this aspect recently. She stated it beautifully,

“Ishan has me as a Mother, he is served food at the table and the dining time is set at 45 mins. Post which the Table is cleared.

 Ishan has his Father, who ensures Ishan finishes the meal and scrubs the utensils clean”.

Ishan respects both disciplines as the parents don’t fight about which is the correct discipline. Ishan has learned over time to ensure the meal is consumed within 45mins of being served and the utensils to be cleaned as well.

While the above example might not be the ideal common platform of discipline to be followed by all parents, it does give us an understanding that the parents need to first respect their individualities in how they discipline the child because for the child, Both Disciplines are essential!

Who kehte hain na.. 

माँ पानी है, रोज़ पौदे को सींचती है, तो पिता खाद है,पौदे को रखता आबाद है

We need both disciplines in life! 

Santosh Bakhshi

Life Coach. Parenting Coach. A learning Father

6
2 Share