Tag: Emotional Intelligence

Priti Manoj Karnavar published in Blogs

Career Confusion in Young Athletes: When Sports, Studies and Parents’ Dreams Collide

Every child dreams of winning. Every parent dreams of a secure future. But what happens when a child’s passion becomes a parent’s worry?

Imagine your child returning home after hours of sports practice. They are exhausted, yet their eyes sparkle as they share the excitement of the game. They talk about their performance, their coach’s appreciation or their dream of playing at the national level.

And then comes the question: “Have you finished your homework? What about your studies? Can sports really give you a future?”

In that moment, a child’s excitement may turn into confusion.

As parents, we want our children to succeed. We want them to follow their dreams, but we also fear disappointment, uncertainty and an insecure future. This conflict between passion and practicality is one of the biggest challenges faced by sports children and their parents today.

The Child’s Dream vs. The Parent’s Fear

For a child, sports is often more than a hobby. It is a source of happiness, identity, discipline and confidence. Whether it is cricket, football, badminton, swimming or athletics, the dream of becoming a professional player can inspire extraordinary dedication.

Parents, however, see the uncertainties. They worry about competition, injuries, academic performance, financial stability and limited opportunities.

These fears come from love. But sometimes, in trying to protect our children, we unintentionally discourage them.

Statements like “Sports has no future” or “Focus on studies instead” may sound practical to us, but to a child, they can feel like a rejection of their dreams.

The real challenge is not choosing between passion and security, but finding a realistic way to balance both.

Are We Asking Children to Choose Too Early?

Children are still discovering their abilities, interests and potential. Expecting them to decide their entire future too early can create unnecessary pressure.

Sports and academics do not always have to compete with each other. With proper planning, time management and support, children can often pursue both.

Of course, competitive sports demand commitment, discipline and consistent effort. As children grow, they may need to evaluate their progress, opportunities and willingness to continue.

Parents can guide them through these decisions by encouraging honest conversations, seeking professional advice and exploring different career pathways.

The decision should come from understanding—not fear, comparison or pressure.

When Expectations Become a Burden

Sometimes, our hopes for our children become so strong that every match feels like an examination. Victory brings celebration, but defeat brings disappointment, criticism or comparisons.

We may ask, “We are doing so much for you. Why are you not performing?”

But have we paused to ask how our child feels?

Perhaps they fear disappointing us. Perhaps they are struggling with self-doubt. Or perhaps they love their sport but feel overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed.

Our children need our support more than our expectations.

Winning teaches confidence, but losing teaches resilience. Mistakes build experience, and setbacks teach children how to rise again.

A child who feels emotionally safe at home is more likely to share their fears, discuss their ambitions and seek help when needed.

How Can Sports Parents Help?

As a Parent Coach, I believe our role is not to control our children’s journey, but to help them navigate it with confidence.

  1. Listen before advising. Ask what your child enjoys about sports and what challenges they face. Sometimes, listening is more powerful than giving solutions.
  2. Separate performance from self-worth. A lost match does not make your child a failure. Celebrate effort, discipline, improvement and courage.
  3. Explore career options realistically. Professional sports is one possibility. Coaching, sports science, physiotherapy and sports management may also offer meaningful pathways.
  4. Build a balanced routine. Make time for training, studies, rest, family and recreation. Children need recovery as much as discipline.
  5. Seek the right guidance. Coaches, teachers and career counsellors can help assess progress and explore suitable opportunities.
  6. Keep communication open. Reassure your child that changing a goal or choosing another career is not a failure. Their worth is never defined by a trophy.

Let Us Raise Confident Children, Not Fearful Achievers

Dear parents, our children do not need us to have every answer. They need us to stand beside them while they discover their own.

Some may become professional athletes. Others may pursue careers connected to sports, while some may choose a completely different path. Every journey deserves respect.

The next time your child returns from practice, instead of asking only, “Did you win today?” try asking, “What did you learn? Did you enjoy yourself? How can I support you?”

One meaningful conversation can sometimes ease more confusion than a hundred pieces of advice.

A Thought for Every Sports Parent

“Behind every young athlete’s dream, there should be a parent’s encouragement, not the weight of expectations.”

A child may forget the score of a match, but they will remember how their parents made them feel afterwards.

Before asking your child to perform better, ask yourself: “Does my child feel supported, or do they feel they must succeed to make me proud?”

Let home be the place where your child finds comfort after defeat, confidence after disappointment and courage to dream again.

Because the greatest victory is not just raising a champion in sports, but raising a confident, emotionally strong and happy human being.

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Rekha Bansal published in Blogs

“Kaash Main bhi ladka hoti…”

“Kaash Main Bhi Ladka Hoti…”

A Thought That Returns Every Winter

Have you ever wished you were born a boy?

A few days ago, I was rearranging my cupboards, taking out winter clothes and packing away the summer ones.

And suddenly, a familiar thought crossed my mind.

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti…”

I smiled to myself.

Because this wasn’t the first time.

Almost every winter, while sorting clothes, arranging cupboards and managing the seasonal changes at home, this thought quietly visits me.

And not just during winters.

Sometimes, when I have to step out for a few hours and find myself mentally preparing an entire checklist.

Ghar mein sab manage ho jayega? Khaane ka kya hoga? Kya-kya pehle se arrange karna hai?

Sometimes, when I am managing my professional responsibilities alongside the countless little things that keep a home running.

And sometimes, during those painful days of menstruation, when life continues as usual, even though my body is asking for rest.

At such moments, I have wondered:

“Would life have been a little easier if I were a boy?”

Not because I don’t enjoy being a woman.

I love being a woman, a mother, an educator and everything else that I am.

But sometimes, I question the expectations that come with being one.

And then another thought strikes me.

Have boys ever thought, “Kaash main bhi ladki hota”?

Perhaps some have. But why does this wish seem so unfamiliar to us?

Is it because, somewhere, we have made being a boy appear more comfortable, more powerful and more privileged?

What Are We Really Teaching Our Boys?

I once came across a thought that stayed with me:

“Men are not taught how to be men. They are taught how NOT to be women.”

Think about the sentences we casually use.

“Ladkiyon ki tarah kyun ro raha hai?”

“Mard ban, strong ban!”

“Yeh ladkiyon wale kaam hain.”

“Boys don’t cry.”

What are we really communicating?

That crying is feminine.

That expressing emotions is weakness.

That household responsibilities belong to women.

And that being a man somehow means being different from, or superior to, a woman.

We may not intend to teach these beliefs, but children are continuously learning from our words, actions and everyday behaviour.

A little boy watches his mother prepare meals even when she is exhausted.

He watches his father relax while she continues working.

He notices who serves food, who clears the table, who remembers everyone’s needs, and whose needs come last.

And without anyone formally teaching him, he begins to understand what a woman’s role is supposed to be.

Similarly, a little girl watches the same things.

And perhaps, years later, while rearranging her cupboard, she too whispers:

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti…”

Change Doesn’t Begin in Society. It Begins at Home.

As an educator and parenting coach, I strongly believe that parents are a child’s first teachers, and home is the first classroom.

We talk so much about gender equality.

We encourage our daughters to study, become financially independent and achieve their dreams.

And rightly so.

But are we preparing our sons to share the responsibilities of everyday life?

Are we teaching them that cooking, cleaning, caring and managing a home are basic life skills, not gender roles?

Are we allowing our sons to cry without questioning their masculinity?

Are we teaching our daughters to speak up without calling them disrespectful?

And most importantly, are we modelling the equality we want our children to practise?

Because children learn far more from what they see than from what we preach.

A Small Reflection for Every Parent

Next time your son cries, don’t say, “Ladkiyon ki tarah mat ro.”

Simply ask, “Kya hua beta?”

Next time household work needs attention, involve your son and daughter equally.

Let them both learn responsibility, empathy, independence and respect.

And let our sons see that caring for a family is not only a woman’s responsibility.

We don’t need to raise girls who can do everything and boys who are excused from everyday responsibilities.

We need to raise human beings who can share both opportunities and responsibilities.

Maybe then, one winter, a woman rearranging her cupboard won’t find herself thinking:

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti…”

Not because she has fewer responsibilities.

But because she no longer has to carry them alone.

Before we ask whether our children believe in equality, perhaps we need to ask ourselves:

“Kya hamare ghar mein equality sirf sikhayi jaati hai, ya jee bhi jaati hai?”

Rekha Bansal
Parenting Coach | Child & Adolescent Counsellor | Educator 
Founder, Focus Education

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Dr. Sangeeta Joshi published in Blogs

From Prescription to Connection, What 31 Years as a Pediatrician Taught Me About Real-Life Parenting

For over three decades, my days have been spent  examining children, tracking growth charts, and guiding parents through their children’s health and development. Early in my career, I  believed  good parenting was largely about following clear rules—getting nutrition right, maintaining routines, hitting developmental milestones, and enforcing  discipline .But watching thousands of families in my clinic and experiencing unpredictable reality of raising my own children—taught me a humbling truth: Children are not medical charts, and parenting doesn’t come with a standard prescription .Each child is different with unique  needs. Most important aspect is to understand the needs and be available to them emotionally.

  1. The Courage to Reflect & Unlearn

Today, my daughters are compassionate, independent, and successful young women whom I am immensely proud of. Yet  our parenting journey was far from flawless.  . Along side being a paediatrician ,I was a strict mother much like a typical Indian parent who expects a great deal from her children ,sometimes without understanding their perspective. Long working hours  ,clinical pressures and everyday life stress at times affected my responses.  My  rigid expectations around studies, reaction to seemingly minor issues and attempt to control their choices created  emotional distance .

For a long time ,I carried guilt of those mistakes. But as my daughters grew older, we started having honest conversations. I listened to their feelings, acknowledged where I had fallen short, and offered sincere apologies. That open communication rebuilt our bond stronger and more meaningful.

This experience taught me that it is never too late to repair a relationship.

Trust grows when we are  willing  to listen,   ,take responsibility and acknowledge our mistakes ,unlearning old habits and embracing more empathetic ways of connecting is a life long journey.

2.Why  parenting coach after 31Years as a Paediatrician?

Today  Parents have concerns that go beyond physical illnesses. They are concerned about emotional health ,behavioural challenges ,communication  and relationship with their children.

My  years as a pediatrician ,combined with my experiences as mother have helped me recognize the importance of addressing these concerns with empathy and understanding.

This is what inspires me to explore parenting coaching   ;helping parents navigate everyday challenges,understand their children better ,and strengthen their bond.

My goal is to help parents connect their dots between what they observe in their chidren’,s behaviour and what their children , might be feeling or needing emotionally.

  1. Three Key Insights for Today’s Overwhelmed Parents

If I could share three core takeaways from both my clinical experience and my personal journey with parents

  • Connection Precedes Correction

A child’s challenging behavior is almost always an attempt to communicate an unmet need or emotion they cannot yet communicate. Listening calmly and acknowledging  feelings can open doors that lectures cannot.

 

  • Your Calm is Contagious

Children absorb our emotional state and demeanor. When we react with anger or frustration , situation worstens.   Pausing to take a deep breath before responding to a meltdown is the single best gift you can give your household.

 

  • Drop the Guilt of Perfection

 Your children do not need a flawless parents.  They simply need a warm, present adults who are  willing to show up, listen, and grow alongside them .Mistakes are inevitable  .What matters is how we respond to them and whether we  make  sincere effort to repair and connect.

Conclusion

Parenting is not a medical exam where you score marks for flawless performance; it is an evolving, lifelong relationship built on mutual respect, ,love and understanding.

As parents ,l    et us give ourselves grace. When we make mistakes  ,let us use them as opportunities to reflect, unlearn  ,apologise and reconnect with your children.

After 31 years as a paediatrician and my own journey as a mother, one    lesson   stands out; the goal is not to be a perfect parent but to build a relationship in which child feels understood, ,,accepted and connected.

#ParentingJourney #PediatricianPerspective #PositiveParenting #ParentingMantras #ChildDevelopment

 

 

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Subodh Langde published in Articles, Blogs

Career Confusion in Teenagers: How Parents Can Help Without Adding Pressure

Your child doesn’t need to have their entire future figured out today. They need the confidence, support, and freedom to discover it.
“Beta, 10th ke baad kya karna hai?”
“Science loge ya Commerce?”
“Engineering, Medical, CA, ya kuch aur?”
For many Indian teenagers, these questions begin long before they understand their own interests, strengths, or aspirations. What starts as a simple conversation about the future can gradually become a source of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.
Career confusion is not a sign that a child lacks ambition. Sometimes, it means they haven’t had enough opportunities to understand themselves.

Why Are Teenagers So Confused About Their Careers?

Today’s teenagers have more career options than ever before. Along with traditional careers such as engineering, medicine, and commerce, they can explore technology, design, sports, entrepreneurship, digital media, psychology, and many emerging fields.

But more options do not automatically mean more clarity.

Here are three common reasons behind career confusion.

1. Pressure to follow the crowd

When friends choose Science, a student may feel compelled to do the same. When relatives praise a particular profession, children may believe that choosing anything else means settling for less.

They start asking, “What will people think?” instead of “What is right for me?”

2. Fear of making the wrong decision

Many students believe that one decision after Class 10 or Class 12 will determine their entire future. This fear can make them overthink every option or avoid making a decision altogether.

They need to understand that career decisions matter, but learning, experience, and changing interests can also open new paths.

3. Limited self-awareness and exposure

A student may know the names of popular professions without understanding what the work actually involves.

They may choose a career based on salary, social status, family expectations, or what they see online rather than their interests, abilities, values, and willingness to develop the required skills.

What Can Parents Do Differently?

Parents play an important role in career development. However, supporting a child is different from deciding their future for them.

Here are four practical steps parents can begin today.

1. Replace interrogation with curiosity

Instead of repeatedly asking, “What do you want to become?”, try asking:

  • Which subjects or activities make you curious?
  • What kind of problems do you enjoy solving?
  • What activities make you feel engaged and confident?
  • What would you like to explore before making a decision?

These questions help children reflect instead of feeling pressured to provide an immediate answer.

2. Focus on strengths, not just marks

Marks are useful indicators of academic performance, but they do not tell the complete story of a child’s potential.

Observe how your child thinks, communicates, creates, solves problems, works with others, and responds to challenges.

Encourage them to explore their strengths while also recognising the skills they need to develop.

3. Give them opportunities to explore

Career clarity grows through experience, not just conversations.

Encourage your child to attend career talks, explore reliable career assessments, speak with professionals, try relevant projects, or participate in workshops.

Help them understand the education, skills, daily responsibilities, and realities associated with different careers.

4. Build confidence before demanding clarity

A child who fears criticism may hide their doubts or choose an option simply to please their parents.

Create an environment where they can say, “I’m confused,” without feeling that they have disappointed you.

Your message should be: “We don’t have to know every answer today. We will explore the options together.”

A Simple Activity to Start Today

Set aside 15 minutes with your child. Keep phones away and discuss three questions:

  1. What are three activities or subjects you genuinely enjoy?
  2. What are two careers you would like to understand better?
  3. What is one small step we can take this week to explore one of them?

Do not evaluate their answers immediately. Listen, ask follow-up questions, and agree on one practical next step.

Repeat this conversation periodically as your child learns more about themselves.

The Real Goal Is Career Readiness, Not Just Career Selection

As parents, we naturally want our children to be successful and secure. But the most valuable support we can offer is not a ready-made career decision.

It is the ability to understand themselves, evaluate choices, develop skills, adapt to change, and make informed decisions with confidence.

At Rise Together — The Parent & Student Growth Journey, I believe that career clarity begins with self-awareness, grows through exploration, and becomes stronger when parents and children work together.

Your child may not know what they want to become today. That is okay.

Don’t rush to decide their future. Help them discover it.

Subodh Langde is a Parent & Student Growth Coach who helps Indian families with teenagers in Classes 9–12 build confidence, improve communication, strengthen study habits, and approach career decisions with greater clarity.

Start a conversation with your child today. Their future needs your guidance—not your pressure.

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Dr. Nidhi (Meher) published in Blogs

Before We Guide Our Children’s Behavior, Let’s Connect with Their Emotions

Understanding the emotion behind a child’s behavior can open the door to deeper connection, communication and growth.

Every child has a story unfolding within them. Every emotion offers us a glimpse into that story.

As parents, we want our children to grow with confidence, curiosity, kindness and the courage to express themselves. My journey as an educator and mother has taught me that parenting is not just about guiding children; it is also about discovering who they are and growing alongside them.

A Little Room, A Big Lesson

When my elder son was young, we had an empty room with no furniture. Gradually, it became his canvas. He painted on the walls freely, exploring colors and expressing his imagination.

Looking back, I see that experience as an important lesson in childhood expression. When children feel safe to explore, their creativity can reveal so much about their inner world. Children communicate in many ways—through words, colors, movement, stories, questions and actions. Each offers us an opportunity to understand their perspective.

That experience became one of the seeds of my journey towards Creative Parenting.

Every Child Brings a New Lesson

When my younger son arrived, I discovered another way of seeing the world. He was energetic, curious and creative in his own unique way. I found myself observing more closely, adapting and discovering fresh ways to engage with him.

This deepened my understanding that every child has an individual temperament, rhythm and way of expressing emotions.

A moment of excitement, a request for independence or a desire for attention can invite us to pause and ask: What might my child be feeling right now?

Curiosity encourages listening, and listening helps us understand a child’s perspective before deciding how to guide the moment.

The Inner Awareness Framework: Growing Together

Over time, I realized that understanding my children also meant understanding myself. When a child expresses a strong emotion, I have an opportunity to notice my own feelings, reflect on my response and choose how I wish to guide the situation.

This is where my developing concept, the Inner Awareness Framework (IAF), finds its place in Creative Parenting.

For parents, inner awareness involves recognizing emotions, reflecting on responses and making thoughtful choices. For children, it means gradually learning to identify feelings, express needs and understand themselves with age-appropriate guidance.

It is a shared journey: as parents and children grow in awareness, everyday interactions become opportunities for deeper understanding.

From Behavior to Understanding

Imagine a child who wants a few more minutes to finish a game while the parent is ready to move on.

The parent can acknowledge the child’s enthusiasm while explaining the need to transition. Together, they might agree to finish the current round before moving to the next activity.

The boundary remains clear, and the child’s feelings receive attention too.

Creativity can make these conversations easier and more engaging. Drawing feelings, telling stories, using puppets or playing cooperative games can give children different ways to express themselves and share their experiences.

We Grow Alongside Our Children

My journey as an educator, mother and author continues to remind me that parenting is a process of mutual growth. As children discover themselves, we discover new dimensions of ourselves as parents.

Through my book, Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey, I explore how creativity, emotional awareness and meaningful connection can become part of everyday family life.

The next time your child expresses a strong emotion, take a moment to listen, invite conversation and explore a way forward together. A small moment of understanding can become a lasting memory of connection.

Before we guide a child’s behavior, let’s connect with the emotion behind it. That is where meaningful parenting begins.

Continue Your Creative Parenting Journey

My book, Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey, brings together reflections and practical ideas from my journey as an educator, mother and author.

If you would like to explore how creativity can become a meaningful part of your parenting journey, you can find the book on Amazon.

📖 Explore the book: https://amzn.in/d/04wjmgFq

Dr. Nidhi (Meher)
Educator • Speaker • Author
Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey

Empowering Through Creativity

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Baggineni Divya published in Articles, Blogs

When Your 10-Year-Old Stops Telling You Things

“Fine.” “Nothing.” “Nothing happened.”

You ask, “How was your day?” He says, “Fine.” You ask, “What did you do?” He says, “Nothing.” And that is the end of the conversation.

Not long ago, this same child told you everything: who sat next to him, what the teacher said, what made him laugh until his stomach hurt. Now you get one-word answers, and a small voice in your head asks, what did I miss? If this is happening at your house, take a breath. It is far more common than you think, and it is not a sign that you are failing.

 

Rahul and the Evening Questions

Let me tell you about a boy I will call Rahul. He is ten. The moment he got home, his father, Ramesh, would start: “Did you eat your tiffin? How was the test? Who did you play with? Why are you so quiet?” Rahul gave short answers and slipped away to his room. Ramesh was not a bad father. He was a worried one. But to Rahul, every question felt like an exam he had not studied for. One evening, Ramesh tried something different. He stopped asking. He sat on the front step with his tea, and when Rahul came out to kick his ball against the wall, Ramesh picked up a second ball and joined in. They played for ten minutes without a word. On the fourth day, Rahul said, without looking up, “A boy in my class said I run like a duck.” That was the door. It had been waiting to open all along.

 

Connection Before Correction

Between eight and twelve, children start seeing themselves through other people’s eyes. Friends matter more. A teacher’s remark sticks. One comment in the corridor can feel enormous. Your child is not pulling away from you. They are learning to carry a bigger world, and they are not yet sure whether home is a safe place to set it down. This is where I ask parents to hold on to one idea: connection before correction. A child who feels connected will listen. A child who feels judged will hide. Every question we ask before we have connected sounds like a correction, even when we do not mean it that way.

 

Meera and the Maths Homework

Here is another story. Meera, a mother, told me about a night that went badly. Her eleven-year-old, whom I will call Mahanvi, was stuck on fractions and started to cry. Meera was exhausted after a long day and snapped, “You understood this yesterday. Why are you making it so hard?” The bedroom door slammed. Both of them ended up crying, in separate rooms. Later, Meera did something that took real courage. She knocked, sat on the floor beside Mahanvi’s bed and said, “I was tired and I spoke badly. Fractions are hard. Shall we look at them together tomorrow?” Mahanvi did not say much. But she moved over and made room. A repair like that is worth more than a perfect evening. Children do not need flawless parents. They need parents who come back.

 

Three Small Things to Try This Week

  1. Talk side by side. Car rides, evening walks, folding clothes together. Ten-year-olds open up when they do not have to look you in the eye.
  2. Change your question. Instead of “How was your day?”, try “What was the funniest thing today?” or “Was anything hard today?”
  3. Give ten undivided minutes. Phone away, no advice, no fixing. Let your child lead the conversation, even if it is about their game.

 

A Last Thought

Your child is not drifting away. They are growing, and they still need you, just in a different way. Stay close, stay curious and keep the door open. If this spoke to you, I would love to welcome you into the Bond & Bloom Community, where we learn together how to raise calm, confident children without breakdowns or burnout.

 

With love,

Divya Baggineni Parent–Child Mindset Coach | Founder, Bond & Bloom Community

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Dr. Sunita Advani published in Blogs

Empowering Your Children to Excel in Today’s Competitive World: Insights from Kota’s Tragedies

Introduction

The recent tragic suicides among students in Kota, India, have once again highlighted the enormous pressures and intense competition young people face today. To provide context, this year alone, 23 students have taken their lives, with four months still to go, compared to 15 last year. As parents, guardians, and educators, it is our collective responsibility to empower our children to face this competition while safeguarding their mental and emotional well-being. In this blog, we will discuss ways to empower your children to navigate the challenges of today’s competitive world, drawing inspiration from the unfortunate events in Kota.

1. Open Communication

Empowering your children begins with establishing open lines of communication. Encourage them to freely share their thoughts, fears, and aspirations with you. Ask open-ended questions and practice active listening. Validate their feelings and share your own experiences. Avoid judgment and engage in problem-solving together. Open communication should not be a one-time effort but an ongoing process. Make it clear that your child can talk to you about anything, anytime, and that your love and support are unwavering. Create an environment where they feel safe discussing their struggles and anxieties. This way, you let your child know they are not alone in their struggles, and you can offer support and guidance when they need it most.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Acknowledge that every child has unique abilities and limitations. Their potential may not align with societal expectations. Just as not every tree grows at the same rate, not every child will excel in the same way or at the same pace. Understand your child’s strengths and areas that may need improvement, and support them accordingly without imposing unrealistic goals. Focus on helping them discover their strengths and interests. Avoid comparing your child to others, whether it’s their siblings, friends, or classmates, as this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unnecessary stress. Encourage self-reflection, help them establish incremental goals, emphasize that mistakes are learning opportunities, encourage effort and improvement, and don’t wait for perfection.

3. Encourage a Growth Mindset

Teach your children the value of effort and resilience. A growth mindset fosters the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and dedication. This mindset can help them approach challenges with a positive attitude and a willingness to learn from failures. Illustrate the difference: a fixed mindset believes abilities are innate and unchangeable, whereas a growth mindset thrives on the idea that talents can be developed. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” encourage your child to say, “I can’t do this yet.” This maintains a positive learning environment.

4. Promote a Balanced Approach to Education

While academic excellence is important, it should not come at the cost of mental and physical health. Encourage a balanced approach to education by promoting hobbies, physical activity, relaxation, and spending time with family and friends. Teach your child the importance of a healthy work-life balance. A balanced approach ensures that your child excels academically while developing as a well-rounded individual. It prepares them to face life’s challenges with resilience, adaptability, and a healthy perspective. By nurturing their passions, promoting physical and mental health, and fostering a love for learning, you set the stage for your child to thrive both inside and outside the classroom.

5. Seek Professional Help

Be vigilant in recognizing signs of distress in your child, such as extreme anxiety, persistent sadness, changes in sleep or eating patterns, social withdrawal, or declining academic performance. These may indicate the need for professional intervention. Explain to your child that seeking assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. Dispelling misconceptions about therapy or counseling can make them more open to the idea. Mental health is as crucial as physical health, and early intervention can prevent more severe issues from developing. If required, involve your family and close friends in the process. Valuable help is welcome from anywhere.

6. Foster Independence

Empower your children to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. This helps build confidence, adaptability, and resilience. Encourage them to set their goals and take steps toward achieving them, with your guidance and support. Fostering independence in your child is a continuous process that requires patience and guidance. By empowering them to take charge of their lives, you equip them with the skills and mindset necessary to thrive academically and navigate the challenges they’ll encounter as they grow into adulthood.

7. Teach Time Management

Time management is a crucial skill for success. Help your children develop effective time management skills to balance their studies, extracurricular activities, and leisure time. Assist them in creating a daily or weekly schedule, prioritizing tasks, setting SMART goals, breaking tasks into small steps, eliminating distractions, and regularly reviewing and adjusting their schedule. This will reduce stress and improve their overall well-being. Teaching time management is a gradual process, and consistency is key. By helping your child master this essential skill, you empower them to succeed academically and in all aspects of their life.

8. Promote Healthy Competition

Competition can be healthy when it encourages personal growth and improvement. Teach your children to compete with themselves, aiming to surpass their previous achievements rather than constantly comparing themselves to others. Competing with friends, siblings, or relatives is not only detrimental to love but also one of the least effective approaches to achieving one’s goals.

9. Build a Supportive Network

Encourage your children to build a supportive network of friends and mentors who can provide guidance and emotional support. Having a strong support system can help them cope with the pressures of competition.

10. Lead by Example

Finally, lead by example. Show your children that success is not just about academic achievements but also about being a kind, compassionate, and resilient individual. Share your own struggles and how you overcame them. Acting as a role model is the most potent strategy. All the tips mentioned earlier will be effective only when your actions exemplify them in front of your children. This way, these values become ingrained in their behavior naturally, without the need for explicit preaching. It’s often said that children emulate what they witness, not just what they are taught.

 

The tragic incidents in Kota serve as a stark reminder of the immense pressure faced by today’s youth. As parents and guardians, it is our duty to empower our children with the tools they need to thrive in this competitive world while prioritizing their mental and emotional well-being. By fostering open communication, setting realistic expectations, and promoting a growth mindset, we can equip our kids to face today’s challenges with confidence and resilience. Together, we can ensure that they not only survive but also thrive in the face of competition.

Dr Sunita Advani, Pune

dradvani.sunita@gmail.com

9822088710

 

 

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Mohita Aggarwal published in Articles

UNDERSTANDING ANGER; LEARN TO HANDLE IT , NOT TO GET RID OF IT

To start with, I always give this advice to all with anger issues, do not try to get rid of it but learn how to manage it as this is a more realistic goal. Let us take a closer look at the essence of anger. Its basic nature is demand, this demand can be from oneself, others or from the world, and it is connected to our ego component. Unfortunately, humans sometimes fail to realize when their expectations turn to demands. Let me exemplify this, I should be the best influencer on Instagram (demand on oneself), my parents should have the same goals as me (demand on others) and, people should accept me as the best singer in the world (demand from the world). What I mean to say is that if people become aware of their language and change the modals of SHOULD to PREFER, there can be a significant mind shift in them as it is a known fact that our language helps us change our beliefs and these beliefs in turn change our thoughts and thus our behavior. Therefore, I request all those who have anger issues to change their modals of must and should to prefer and say for instance, I will prefer if I become the best influencer on the Instagram, I will prefer if my parents share the same goal as me and finally, I will prefer if the world accepts me as the best singer. Thus, the focus here is on becoming aware of your language and trying to use a more flexible language.

Since I have mentioned the word aware, I will emphasize on it as the first step to transform oneself. If a person is aware of his or her non-useful patterns of thoughts and behaviors, he can move towards change. How does one become aware? This is created by self- reflection and analysis which is a cognition only we humans possess when compared to other animals. It is definitely a great gift as when we become aware of our triggers which make us angry, we can remove ourselves physically from the person or situation, in other words use the avoidance technique.

To understand anger further, I will have to bust a few myths related to anger. Firstly, that venting out your anger helps. To clarify, research says that venting out anger has no benefits; in fact, it is detrimental to all, the person, others and the environment. So, I recommend that all with anger problems delay it rather than venting it. Let us talk about the second myth which is that a person can have a calm demeanor when angry. This is not possible for sure, so I suggest instead of an unrealistic outcome, we focus on a more realistic one and try to achieve a healthy anger rather than an unhealthy one. Let me explain how your anger can be healthy, instead of shouting and blaming, use an assertive language and blame the issue and not the person. When our language is respectful and the tone befitting then we are being assertive in the true sense. This takes a lot of practice but it is certainly achievable.

I would like to leave you with a couple of techniques for managing anger.

Because I am an ardent fan of positive psychology, I would suggest you to use the visualization technique which is a solution focused technique often used for people with anger difficulties. Ask yourself the below questions:

If you wake up after 3 years and your anger has disappeared, then,

  1. What would you do differently?
  2. What behaviour would you like to stop?
  3. How would you be behaving with others without this anger?
  4. What would your day look like?
  5. Would your goals be different?

Let me describe how this helps, initially this activity gives the hope to the individual that he can get rid of his anger, secondly, it helps him see the advantages of not having this not so useful behaviour and  it helps to gain another perspective that he has a choice to behave differently. Lastly, this imagination takes the person to his goals which are opposite to his problems.

At the end, I would like to recommend a technique included in Mindfulness which encourages us to be in here and now and observe the incident AS IS. I want to be very clear that the only thing a person who is angry can do is take deep breaths as anger arouses our nervous system and it also affects many other systems of our anatomy. Any suggested technique will be useful once they have calmed their excited body.  Let me throw some light on this activity, close your eyes and recall an event when you felt really angry and open your eyes after 30 seconds and talk about how that felt and you would surely have felt something of the actual feelings. Close your eyes again and this time recall that time calmly from the outside. Viewing it as a CCTV camera or as an observer, but this time imagine how it could have been different without this negative emotion of anger. Reviewing this memory, lowers your emotion and attachment and makes you pay attention to aspects you were not aware of before, maybe, your physiology or your voice modulations. In this case, we are encouraging them to use their logical brain and encouraging detached observation. There is no doubt that when we are angry , we go into our emotional brain and we need to come out of it and go to our logical brain to take  better decisions. This technique helps in cognitive restructuring and understanding the cognitive aspect of anger as a third person without being bias.

Al things considered, I would like to conclude and say that our goal is not to do away with anger but manage it. If we train our mind and remind it this goal, we will not waste our energies and time in throwing away this anger it but in handling it in a better manner.

 

Author

Ms. Mohita Aggarwal

Psychological Counselor, An Educator and a Parenting Coach

 

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Santosh Bakhshi published in Blogs

Dad Discipline v/s Mom Discipline

Dad Discipline v/s Mom Discipline

A Topic Seldom discussed by Parents!

 

Back in my childhood, Dad worked from 10 am to midnight. Mom was the ‘YellBox’ and when yelling didn’t work, she was the Chhittar Champion Rani, always ranking 1st in society. But when even that failed to work. — “Papa ko aane do, Daant padegi tab seedha hoga”. was the Final Warning – An Indian Patent Disciplinary Sentence proudly used for years by Indian Mothers .

This was the Final Frontier in Discipline and then Dad walked into the scene. Dad just had a look that was accompanied by deafening silence. That look meant “Feel my power”! 

Is it the same today? is there a difference between Mother and Father Discipline? Should there be a difference and how does it account for? Researchers suggest that Father and Mother discipline do differ. This has been now noted and in an unpredictable way. The indication is that children are more immediately influenced by their mothers, but that as they grow older, their father’s disciplinary practices through the years are deeply correlated with their social behavior.

 “Father Effect” as it is called, a difficult topic to be discussed in most Indian Households. Having discussed this topic with many Dads I have been astonished to know that the Dads are awkward to discuss this, Yes, even the CEO DAD!

Physical contact, nurturing, reassurance – remains difficult or not expressed much.

As each day unfolds with more uncertainties for a family today, compared to the ‘Certainty chart’ of family routine and behavior being followed upto early 2000, The traditional father as the head of the home now does not carry the acceptance as it once did. Say Researches. Modern dads might yell or be distant, but that’s no longer accepted as a norm. Children today have a substantively different concept of what a father’s role is supposed to be.

For example, it has come to light after many kinds of research, over changing times and after analyzing different cultures, that, Mothers tend to discipline kids more because they care about their social relationship with their child. That’s why mothers are more likely to take misbehavior personally and in return of which, kids are primed to react more emotionally. Dads are diagonally different here, they tend to discipline because they want their children to grow up to do well in the world and not get denied opportunities. In other words, the impact of paternal discipline may show up later in life because that’s actually the intent.

Thus, Rejection from fathers today contributes to adolescent wariness in social situations in ways that other family relationships do not. Whether harsh and rejecting or empathetic and nurturing, the scientific consensus is that dad discipline does have a substantive impact which is Slow and reflected upon when the child grows up and is out there on her/his own.

This difference is very important to be understood by the Parents themselves.

Most of the misery for the child lies in the fact that each parent wants the other parent to discipline the child, as they do. A very close family member enlightened me on this aspect recently. She stated it beautifully,

“Ishan has me as a Mother, he is served food at the table and the dining time is set at 45 mins. Post which the Table is cleared.

 Ishan has his Father, who ensures Ishan finishes the meal and scrubs the utensils clean”.

Ishan respects both disciplines as the parents don’t fight about which is the correct discipline. Ishan has learned over time to ensure the meal is consumed within 45mins of being served and the utensils to be cleaned as well.

While the above example might not be the ideal common platform of discipline to be followed by all parents, it does give us an understanding that the parents need to first respect their individualities in how they discipline the child because for the child, Both Disciplines are essential!

Who kehte hain na.. 

माँ पानी है, रोज़ पौदे को सींचती है, तो पिता खाद है,पौदे को रखता आबाद है

We need both disciplines in life! 

Santosh Bakhshi

Life Coach. Parenting Coach. A learning Father

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Aditi Malik published in Articles, Blogs

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

 

Kids crave for parents undivided attention. Gizmos, gadgets, devices all are an escape route for them when they are not given to do things they truly want to engage themselves with. Have we ever realized just as we have cravings children too crave for a lot of things? Cravings are not only associated with eating disorders or providing for a sweet tooth, there are emotional cravings too. These days the pace of life is so fast that it is easy to shrug off our children’s emotional and psychological needs. How about listening to those cravings of your child and addressing them one step at a time? While it may not be possible to settle all their needs and cravings in one go but as parents can we hear them out by paying close attention to what they truly desire from a parent? All that children need is an emotional connection with their parents or primary caregivers.

 

Here are 10 things that kids crave to do with their parents.

1. Mamma  – Tell me story or read to me

2. Play hide and seek with me.

3. Involve me in your work. Can i help you mamma?

4. Can you get me a surprise today?

5. Can you take me to the garden today?

6. Let’s do a bubble bath together ?

7. Can you put nail paint on me.

8. Come with me, stay with me all the time.

9. When are we meeting my friends ? (Since lockdown this is one of the most frequently asked question by my girls.)

10. Don’t go to the office today. I want to play with you.

 

Well some ‘asks’ are easy and fun while the others may not be easy to address on an everyday basis and that is okay. What is important is, to understand that kids do not need expensive objects or toys, all they require is undivided attention, unstructured playtime and a non judgmental approach from their parents. So, what do your children crave from you? Do give it a thought. Hear them out. It’s time to get reflective and give them what they truly desire from you even if it is in piece-meal.

 

Let’s try to invest time in our children because these will help you build beautiful memories as a family. If we are able to give them the desired attention, that in itself is playing a big role in settling their cravings. So, what are you thinking? Get set going and be a family that has fun rather than the one that’s always on the run.

 

I hope you found this blog useful. Do share your ideas and suggestions on how you think kid’s cravings can be addressed.

 

Happy Parenting!

Aditi Malik

Blogger, Podcaster and Parenting Coach.

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