Tag: Modern Parenting

Dr. Yogita Sharma published in Articles, Blogs

The Resilient Parenting Mindset

The Resilient Parenting Mindset
How to Raise Emotionally Strong Children Without Losing Yourself
Parenting is one of the most beautiful journeys in life, but it is also one of the most emotionally demanding. There are days when your child surprises you with love, curiosity, and kindness. And then there are days when the same child refuses to listen, throws a tantrum, struggles with school, or challenges every boundary you set.
In those moments, parenting becomes more than a question of what to do. It becomes a question of who we become while responding to our children.
Do we react with anger, fear, and frustration? Or can we pause, understand the situation, and respond with patience, clarity, and confidence?
This is where a resilient parenting mindset makes a difference. Magic happens in parents’ response.

Resilient parenting does not mean being a perfect parent, staying calm every second, or never making mistakes. It means developing the emotional strength to navigate challenges, learn from difficult moments, repair relationships, and keep growing alongside your child.
The goal is not perfect parenting. The goal is conscious, adaptable, emotionally resilient parenting.
1. What Is a Resilient Parenting Mindset?
A resilient parenting mindset is the ability to adapt to parenting challenges without losing sight of your values, your child’s emotional needs, or your own well-being.
It helps parents understand that:
A difficult day does not make them a bad parent.
A child’s challenging behaviour is an opportunity to understand a need, skill gap, or unmet expectation.
Mistakes can become learning experiences.
Emotions can be acknowledged without allowing them to control every response.
Parenting strategies may need to change as a child grows.
Resilience is not about tolerating every behaviour or removing all consequences. It is about combining love with boundaries, empathy with responsibility, and flexibility with consistency.
For example, when your child refuses to complete homework, a reactive response might be, “You are so lazy. You never listen.”
A resilient response might be, “I can see that you don’t want to start right now. Let’s understand what’s making it difficult and decide on the first small step.”
The expectation remains, but the approach changes. Instead of attacking the child’s identity, the parent addresses the problem.
That difference can influence how children learn to view themselves, manage frustration, and approach future challenges.
2. Six Types of Resilient Mindset Every Parent Needs
Resilience is not a single quality. It is a combination of emotional, mental, and behavioural skills that help parents handle everyday challenges with greater awareness.
A. An emotionally aware mindset
Understand your emotions before you respond to your child’s emotions.
Children can trigger feelings we do not always recognise immediately: helplessness, embarrassment, fear, anger, or the worry that we are failing as parents.
When a child shouts, refuses to cooperate, or ignores instructions, our response may come from our own stress rather than the situation itself.
A resilient parent learns to pause and ask:
What am I feeling right now?
What has triggered this reaction?
Does my child need guidance, a boundary, reassurance, or a moment to calm down?
Try this: Before responding to challenging behaviour, take three slow breaths and lower your voice. If you need a break and your child is safe, step away briefly to regain composure.
Remember, emotional regulation does not mean suppressing your feelings. It means choosing how to express them.
B. A flexible mindset
Be firm about your values, but flexible about your methods.
Children develop at different rates. A strategy that works beautifully for one child may not work for another. Even the same child may need different support at different developmental stages.
For example, if your child struggles to wake up for school, repeating the same angry instructions every morning may not solve the problem.
A flexible parent investigates the pattern:
Is bedtime too late?
Is the morning routine confusing?
Does the child need help preparing the night before?
Are the expectations appropriate for their age?
Flexibility is not permissiveness. You can maintain the boundary that school attendance matters while changing the routine that helps your child meet that expectation.
C. A growth mindset
Replace “My child is difficult” with “My child and I are learning what works.”
A fixed mindset labels people. A growth mindset looks for skills that can be developed.
Consider these common parenting statements:
Instead of saying

Try saying

“My child never listens.”
“How can I communicate more clearly?”
“I am a bad parent.”
“What can I learn from this moment?”
“My child is weak.”
“Which skill does my child need help developing?”
“Nothing will change.”
“What small step can we try differently?”

This approach does not ignore genuine difficulties. It helps parents focus on actions, skills, and solutions instead of becoming trapped in labels.
It also models an important life lesson for children: making a mistake does not mean you are a failure.
D. A self-compassionate mindset
Many parents are compassionate towards everyone except themselves.
They expect themselves to remain patient after a stressful workday, manage every household responsibility, meet their child’s needs, and never lose their temper.
When they inevitably struggle, they criticise themselves.
But shame rarely provides a useful parenting strategy. Self-compassion helps parents acknowledge a mistake without allowing it to define them.
Instead of saying, “I shouted again. I am a terrible parent,” try:
“I was overwhelmed, and I did not handle that moment well. I can take responsibility, repair the relationship, and practise a better response next time.”
Self-compassion is not an excuse. It is a healthier starting point for accountability and change.
E. A patient and present mindset

Children need guidance that respects the time it takes to learn.
A child may need many reminders to put toys away, manage frustration, share with others, or complete a routine. These skills develop through practice, support, and age-appropriate expectations.
When parents expect immediate maturity, ordinary developmental struggles can become daily power struggles.
Practise being present rather than trying to control every moment.
Give one clear instruction at a time.
Get your child’s attention before speaking.
Allow reasonable time for transitions.
Notice effort and progress, not just the final result.
Listen to understand before rushing to correct.
Patience does not mean allowing unsafe or harmful behaviour to continue. It means setting limits without expecting a child to possess skills they are still learning.
F. An optimistic but realistic mindset
Resilient parents maintain hope without pretending that every problem is easy.
A child may struggle academically, experience friendship difficulties, or have trouble managing emotions. Positive thinking alone will not resolve every challenge.
Realistic optimism says:
“This is difficult, but we can understand it, seek help when needed, and take the next useful step.”
It helps parents avoid two extremes: catastrophising every setback and dismissing genuine concerns.
A resilient parent can acknowledge a problem, make a plan, and believe that improvement is possible.
3. How to Build a Resilient Parenting Mindset in Everyday Life
Resilience is not built through one motivational speech or one parenting workshop. It develops through small, repeated choices.

Here is a practical five-step approach you can begin today.
Step 1: Pause before reacting
When your child tests a boundary, your first response may be emotional. Create a small gap between the trigger and your reaction.
Try this simple reset:
Stop speaking for a moment.
Take three slow, comfortable breaths.
Relax your shoulders and jaw.
Ask yourself, “What response will help rather than escalate this situation?”
You do not have to solve everything in the first five seconds. Sometimes the most powerful parenting action is to avoid making a difficult moment worse.
Step 2: Separate the child from the behaviour
A child’s behaviour may be unacceptable, but that does not make the child bad.
Instead of saying, “You are naughty,” say, “Hitting is not acceptable. I will help you find a safe way to express your anger.”
This distinction preserves the child’s dignity while maintaining a clear boundary.
It also helps children understand that they can take responsibility for their actions without believing that they are fundamentally unworthy of love.
Step 3: Replace control with connection and guidance
Parents naturally want to protect children from discomfort, failure, and disappointment. But trying to control every outcome can leave children with fewer opportunities to practise decision-making and problem-solving.
Instead of immediately solving every problem, ask:
“What do you think you could try?”
Then offer guidance appropriate to the child’s age and situation.
Connection does not mean agreeing with everything your child says. It means creating enough trust for your child to listen, learn, and return to you when life becomes difficult.
Step 4: Learn to repair after conflict
Even emotionally aware parents lose patience sometimes. What matters next is how they take responsibility.
You might say:
“I was frustrated and raised my voice. That was not the way I wanted to speak to you. I’m sorry. We still need to discuss what happened, but we can do that calmly.”
A genuine repair includes acknowledging your behaviour, validating the impact, and returning to the original boundary when appropriate.
You do not lose authority by apologising. You demonstrate that accountability applies to adults as well as children.
Step 5: Build your own support system
Parenting becomes harder when a parent is exhausted, isolated, or carrying every responsibility alone.
Resilience includes recognising when you need help.
Consider:
Sharing responsibilities with a partner or trusted family member.
Making time for rest, movement, and meaningful relationships.
Speaking with trusted parents who offer support rather than judgment.
Seeking guidance from a qualified professional when difficulties persist.
Asking for help before stress becomes overwhelming.
A parent’s well-being is not separate from parenting. It is part of the foundation that makes responsive parenting possible.
4. Resilient Parenting in Real-Life Situations
Let us bring these ideas into the moments many parents experience every day.

Situation 1: Your child refuses to study
Reactive mindset: “You are wasting your future. You never take anything seriously.”
Resilient mindset: “Let’s understand what’s making this difficult. Are you confused, tired, or unsure where to begin?”
The lesson: Address the obstacle before assuming the child lacks motivation.
Situation 2: Your child has a public tantrum
Reactive mindset: “Stop this immediately! Everyone is watching.”
Resilient mindset: “My child is having a hard moment. I can keep them safe, stay calm, and discuss the behaviour when we are both ready.”
The lesson: Respond to the child’s needs without making decisions based on other people’s opinions.

Situation 3: Your teenager makes a mistake
Reactive mindset: “I knew you would do this. You never learn.”
Resilient mindset: “Let’s look honestly at what happened, what you can learn, and how you can make a better decision next time.”
The lesson: Help teenagers develop accountability and independent thinking rather than relying on fear.
Across all three situations, the principle remains the same: connect first, understand the challenge, and then guide with clear boundaries.
5. How Your Mindset Becomes Your Child’s Inner Voice
Children learn not only from what parents teach but also from what they repeatedly experience.
When a child regularly hears, “You can learn from mistakes,” they may gradually become more comfortable trying again.
When they repeatedly hear, “You always fail,” they may begin to interpret ordinary setbacks as evidence that they are incapable.
This does not mean that one sentence determines a child’s future. Children’s development is influenced by many relationships, experiences, and individual differences. However, consistent patterns of communication can help shape how children understand themselves and approach challenges.

A resilient parenting mindset can support three important developmental foundations:
Emotional regulation: Children observe how adults handle frustration, disappointment, and uncertainty.
Self-worth: Respectful correction helps children distinguish a mistake from their identity.
Problem-solving: Guided opportunities to make decisions and learn from consequences build confidence and independence.
The aim is not to raise children who never feel upset, afraid, or disappointed.
The aim is to help children develop the skills and support they need to navigate those feelings and recover from life’s challenges.
6. The Five-Minute Daily Resilience Practice for Parents
You do not need to transform your entire parenting style overnight. Begin with five intentional minutes each day.
Your Daily Parenting Mindset Reset
Use this checklist at the end of each day.
One minute: Reflect
What moment challenged me emotionally today?
One minute: Recognise
What was I feeling, and what triggered it?
One minute: Reframe
What is another way to understand my child’s behaviour?
One minute: Repair or reconnect
Is there a conversation, apology, or moment of connection I need to offer?
One minute: Resolve
What is one small response I will practise tomorrow?
0 of 5 practices completed
Reset checklist–
Small practices, repeated consistently, can help you become more aware of your reactions and more intentional in your parenting.
You will still have difficult days. Your child will still have difficult moments. Progress is not the absence of struggle; it is your growing ability to navigate struggle with greater awareness and skill.
7. When Should Parents Seek Additional Support?
Sometimes parenting challenges persist despite a parent’s best efforts. Ongoing family conflict, severe emotional distress, persistent school difficulties, or behavioural concerns that interfere with everyday life may require additional support.
Seeking help from a qualified child psychologist, mental health professional, paediatrician, or parenting specialist is not a sign of failure.
It is a responsible step towards understanding the child’s needs and identifying suitable strategies.
Parents also deserve support for their own emotional well-being. If stress, anxiety, anger, or exhaustion is becoming difficult to manage, professional support can help.
Resilient parenting does not mean handling everything alone. It means recognising what you can manage, what you need to learn, and when you need help.
Conclusion: Raise Yourself as You Raise Your Child

Parenting is not simply about raising a child. It is also an opportunity to understand our own beliefs, heal unhelpful patterns, strengthen our emotional awareness, and become more conscious of the example we set.
You cannot control every experience your child will encounter. You cannot prevent every mistake or remove every disappointment.
But you can work on the mindset you bring into your home.
You can learn to pause instead of react, guide instead of label, set boundaries without humiliation, and repair relationships when things go wrong.
And when you struggle, you can begin again.
A resilient parent is not a parent who never falls apart. A resilient parent is one who learns to pause, reflect, reconnect, and grow.
At RevealU, the belief is simple: when parents gain clarity about their own mindset, they can create more conscious, supportive relationships with their children.
Because sometimes, the most important change in a child’s world begins with a small change in the parent’s mind.
Your child does not need a perfect parent. Your child needs a parent who is willing to learn, connect, and grow.
Ready to Transform Your Parenting Mindset?
Let’s make a difference with dignity and respect in every life we nourish.
Every child is different, and every parent has a story. Start by understanding your own emotional patterns, communication habits, and parenting triggers.
Through RevealU by Dr. Yogita Sharma, explore practical ways to build self-awareness, strengthen parent-child connection, and develop a more conscious approach to parenting.
Take the first step towards a calmer, more connected parenting journey.
Mindset & Parenting Coach
RevealU by Dr. Yogita Sharma

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Palvi Taneja published in Blogs

Modern Parenting is a Partnership: Raising Children Together, Not Alone.

Palvi Tanneja

Founder:The Parenting Compass/ Parenting Coach/DMIT Practitioner

Building stronger families through shared responsibility, mutual respect and teamwork

Navigating Through Parenthood Parenting is one of life’s most meaningful journeys, but it can also be one of its most demanding responsibilities. From managing school schedules and homework to handling emotional outbursts, screen-time struggles and everyday routines, raising children requires patience, time and consistent effort.

Traditionally, parenting responsibilities have often been divided along gender lines. Fathers were expected to provide financially, while mothers were expected to manage children’s daily needs and emotional well-being. Although many families continue to follow these patterns, modern parenting is gradually moving towards a more collaborative approach.

Today, parenting is not simply about dividing tasks between two adults. It is about working together to create an environment in which children feel supported, understood and secure. Modern parenting is not one parent carrying the responsibility while the other helps occasionally. It is two parents sharing the journey, the decisions and the challenges of raising a child.

1. Parenting Is a Shared Responsibility, Not One Parent’s Job In many households, even when both parents work, mothers often carry a significant portion of the invisible work of parenting. They may remember vaccination appointments, school deadlines, homework submissions, parent-teacher meetings, birthdays and changing emotional needs. This mental load can be exhausting because it involves not only completing tasks but also constantly remembering, planning and anticipating what needs to happen next. Meanwhile, fathers may contribute through financial provision, household responsibilities or occasional care giving, yet the overall responsibility for organising family life may remain uneven. Modern parenting requires us to rethink this arrangement. Shared parenting means that both parents take ownership of their children’s needs. It involves noticing what needs to be done, planning ahead and following through without waiting for instructions. When responsibility is shared fairly, neither parent has to carry the entire burden alone. It also t eaches children that caring for a family is a collective effort rather than the responsibility of one individual.

2. Different Parenting Styles Can Become a Strength Every parent brings their own experiences, beliefs and personality into parenting. One may be more structured and organised, while the other may be more flexible and spontaneous. One may focus on discipline, while the other may naturally offer reassurance and comfort. These differences are normal. Problems arise when parents treat their different approaches as a competition over who knows best. For example, imagine a child who refuses to complete homework. One parent may believe that strict consequences are necessary, while the other may feel the child needs encouragement and understanding. Instead of arguing in front of the child or undermining each other’s decisions, parents can discuss the situation privately. They might explore why the child is avoiding homework, agree on reasonable expectations and decide how to support the child while maintaining boundaries. Children do not need parents who think identically about everything. They benefit from parents who communicate respectfully and work towards shared goals. The aim is not to become identical parents, but to become a supportive parenting team.

3. Communication Between Parents Shapes the Family Environment Children are sensitive to the emotional atmosphere at home. They notice how parents speak to each other, handle disagreements and respond under pressure. Frequent criticism, blame or hostile arguments can create tension and may leave children feeling anxious or caught between their parents. Disagreements are inevitable, but how parents manage them matters. Instead of saying, “You never support me when it comes to the children,” a parent might say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed managing the homework routine. Can we discuss how to share it more effectively?” The second approach focuses on the problem rather than attacking the other person. Healthy co-parenting involves listening to each other’s concerns, discussing expectations openly and finding practical solutions. It also means avoiding situations in which children are asked to take sides, carry messages between parents or become responsible for resolving adult disagreements. A respectful partnership provides children with an important example of how people can disagree without disrespecting one another.

 

4. Children Need Consistency, Not Identical Parents One common concern among parents is whether they must always agree on every rule. The answer is no. Parents may have different personalities and approaches, but children benefit when important boundaries are reasonably consistent. For example, if one parent restricts screen time while the other regularly allows unlimited use, the child may become confused about expectations. Similarly, if one parent enforces a rule and the other repeatedly dismisses it, conflict can develop within the family. Parents can avoid this by discussing essential expectations together, including screen use, bedtime, study routines, respectful behavior and age-appropriate independence. Consistency does not mean being rigid. Rules can change as children grow and circumstances evolve. What matters is that parents communicate, explain decisions and avoid turning discipline into a contest for the child’s approval. When children understand the reasons behind boundaries, they have a better opportunity to develop self-discipline and responsibility.

5. Supporting Each Other Emotionally Makes Parenting Easier Parenting can bring exhaustion, frustration, worry and self-doubt. A difficult day at work, financial concerns or a child’s behavioral challenges can leave either parent feeling overwhelmed. In such moments, partners need to recognise that they are on the same team. Sometimes, one parent may need practical help. At other times, they may simply need someone to listen without immediately offering advice or criticism. A simple question such as, “You’ve had a difficult day. What would help you right now?” can open a meaningful conversation. Supporting one another also means recognising each other’s efforts, expressing appreciation and making space for rest. Neither parent should feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness or that managing stress alone is part of being a good parent. When adults feel supported, they may find it easier to respond to their children with patience and thoughtfulness.

6. A Strong Parenting Partnership Benefits Children When parents work together, children can benefit in several ways. They see cooperation in action. They learn that responsibilities can be shared, differences can be discussed and mistakes can be repaired. They may also experience greater predictability in daily routines and a clearer understanding of family expectations. Equally important, children learn that love is expressed through everyday actions: listening, caring, respecting boundaries and taking responsibility. A healthy parenting partnership does not require a conflict-free household. It requires adults who are willing to reflect, communicate and make adjustments when necessary. Even when parents live separately, they can work towards respectful co-parenting wherever it is safe and practical to do so. The focus should remain on the child’s well-being rather than using parenting decisions to continue adult conflict.

7. Five Small Steps Towards Better Teamwork Building a stronger parenting partnership does not require dramatic changes. Small, consistent actions can make everyday family life more manageable. Have a weekly parenting check-in. Discuss schedules, responsibilities, upcoming challenges and what each parent needs. Divide ownership, not just tasks. Let each parent take responsibility for particular routines from planning through completion. Avoid undermining each other in front of the children. If you disagree, discuss the issue privately and revisit the decision together. Make time for your relationship. Parenting is important, but maintaining friendship, affection and communication between partners also matters. Appreciate each other’s efforts. A sincere “Thank you for handling that today” can help each parent feel valued. Remember, a partnership develops through practice. There will be difficult days, misunderstandings and moments when responsibilities become unbalanced. The important thing is to keep communicating and making thoughtful adjustments.

Final Thoughts: Two Parents, One Shared Journey Modern parenting is not about determining which parent works harder or who makes the better decisions. It is about recognising that raising a child requires cooperation, adaptability and shared commitment. When parents move away from traditional assumptions and begin treating each other as equal partners in care giving, they create more opportunities for children to experience a supportive and respectful family environment. No parent has to do everything perfectly. No family will have every responsibility divided equally at every moment. What matters is a genuine willingness to recognise each other’s contributions, share the load and work towards the same goal: helping children grow into confident, caring and responsible individuals.

At The Parenting Compass, we believe that parenting becomes more meaningful when it is approached as a partnership—one built on mutual respect, shared responsibility and a commitment to growing together. Because raising a child should never be one parent’s journey alone. It is a shared responsibility, a shared learning experience and a shared opportunity to build a stronger family.

Palvi Tanneja

 

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Faiza Parvez published in Articles, Blogs, Community

EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY


EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY

Raising kids in a joint family can be a great way to provide them with a strong support system and a sense of community. However, it can also be challenging, as there are often more people involved in decision-making and discipline. Here are some tips for raising kids in a joint family:

  • Communicate with your extended family. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations. This will help to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your child is getting the consistent messages they need.
  • Set clear boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries with your extended family, especially when it comes to discipline. Let them know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
  • Be respectful of your extended family’s opinions. Even if you don’t agree with everything they say, it’s important to be respectful of their opinions. This will help to create a more positive and harmonious environment for your child.
  • Be grateful for the support. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work, but it’s also a lot of support. Be grateful for the help that your extended family provides and let them know how much you appreciate it.

Here are some additional tips:

  • Involve your extended family in your child’s life. This could include taking them on outings, spending time with them at home, or asking them to help with childcare.
  • Encourage your child to spend time with their grandparents and other extended family members. This will help them to build strong relationships with their elders and learn about their family history.
  • Talk to your child about the importance of respecting their elders. This will help them to understand the value of family and tradition.
  • Be patient and understanding. Raising kids in a joint family can be challenging, but it’s also a rewarding experience. Be patient with your child and your extended family, and remember that everyone is doing their best.

Here are some specific challenges that you may face when raising kids in a joint family:

  • Differing parenting styles. It’s common for extended family members to have different parenting styles than you do. This can be a challenge, as you may not agree with how they are raising your child. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations, and to set clear boundaries.
  • Lack of privacy. Living in a joint family can mean that you have less privacy than you would if you lived in a nuclear family. This can be a challenge, especially when it comes to raising teenagers. It’s important to find ways to give your child some privacy, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.
  • Feeling overwhelmed. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work. It’s important to ask for help from your extended family when you need it. Don’t be afraid to say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • Despite the challenges, raising kids in a joint family can be a rewarding experience. By following these tips, you can create a positive and supportive environment for your child.

AUTHOR

     FAIZA PARVEZ

     Parenting coach 

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Neetu J. Talwar published in Articles, Blogs

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress !!!

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

  1. Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
  2. Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
  3. Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace. 
  4. Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels. 
  5. Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
  6. Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them.  Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day.  Encourage them to take plenty of water.
  7. Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that  exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
  8. Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
  9. Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
  10. Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

 

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

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Aditi Malik published in Articles, Blogs

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

 

Kids crave for parents undivided attention. Gizmos, gadgets, devices all are an escape route for them when they are not given to do things they truly want to engage themselves with. Have we ever realized just as we have cravings children too crave for a lot of things? Cravings are not only associated with eating disorders or providing for a sweet tooth, there are emotional cravings too. These days the pace of life is so fast that it is easy to shrug off our children’s emotional and psychological needs. How about listening to those cravings of your child and addressing them one step at a time? While it may not be possible to settle all their needs and cravings in one go but as parents can we hear them out by paying close attention to what they truly desire from a parent? All that children need is an emotional connection with their parents or primary caregivers.

 

Here are 10 things that kids crave to do with their parents.

1. Mamma  – Tell me story or read to me

2. Play hide and seek with me.

3. Involve me in your work. Can i help you mamma?

4. Can you get me a surprise today?

5. Can you take me to the garden today?

6. Let’s do a bubble bath together ?

7. Can you put nail paint on me.

8. Come with me, stay with me all the time.

9. When are we meeting my friends ? (Since lockdown this is one of the most frequently asked question by my girls.)

10. Don’t go to the office today. I want to play with you.

 

Well some ‘asks’ are easy and fun while the others may not be easy to address on an everyday basis and that is okay. What is important is, to understand that kids do not need expensive objects or toys, all they require is undivided attention, unstructured playtime and a non judgmental approach from their parents. So, what do your children crave from you? Do give it a thought. Hear them out. It’s time to get reflective and give them what they truly desire from you even if it is in piece-meal.

 

Let’s try to invest time in our children because these will help you build beautiful memories as a family. If we are able to give them the desired attention, that in itself is playing a big role in settling their cravings. So, what are you thinking? Get set going and be a family that has fun rather than the one that’s always on the run.

 

I hope you found this blog useful. Do share your ideas and suggestions on how you think kid’s cravings can be addressed.

 

Happy Parenting!

Aditi Malik

Blogger, Podcaster and Parenting Coach.

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FASIHA SHAIK published in Articles

SHINE AS A PARENT

SHINE AS A PARENT

 

I Guess All We Can Do Is Stay Devoted To Our Children And Be Generous With Our Time. Our Children Should Always Be Our Number 1 Priority.

Try Not To Teach Your Fears To Your Kids. Introduce Your Children To What’s Possible

  • LEAD BY EXAMPLE : the best way to influence your kids is to walk the talk. Model the behavior you wish to see. Those little eyes watch everything you do. I refer these from “Family Wisdom from the monk who sold his Ferrari”. Which is a book that will be very helpful to you as you grow young leaders at home.
  • DEVELOP YOUR CHILDREN : see yourself not just as a parent to your children but as a “developer” of them. It is important to actively develop their minds, hearts and soul. That’s your job expose them to great art. Introduce them to cool people who produce unique ideas
  • INSPIRE YOUR KIDS, Big ideas : parents teach their children how to view the world. Parents show kids the way the world works. And if you see the world as a place of limitations, so will those little people you are raising. Try not to teach your fears to your kids.

 

Introduce your children to what’s possible. Inspire them to be great human being who will elevate the world – in their own special way.

Be an enabler. Encourage them always because “ skills can be developed by non correctional methods”.

 

Fasiha Shaik

Parenting Coach

 

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Swati Mahajan published in Blogs

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

 

It’s often been said that motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. Indeed, there is no task more challenging than caring for the emotional, physical, and mental health of another human being. As a mom it is so easy to feel overwhelmed, overworked and stressed.

 

If you tell yourself negative things daily – guess what, you are setting yourself up for failure or repeat patterns of life. I believe in the power of affirmations so much because What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level has a significant impact on the outcome of events. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. Amazing right?

 

Pick any two of these affirmations daily and use them for at least 21 days!. Save them, say them whenever you can, or write them down every morning. Post them where you will see them. Come back here and comment below to let me know what miracles you see changing

 

  1.  I respect my children; I respect myself.
  2.  I am a blessing to my children. I am a powerhouse
  3.  I am doing an amazing job. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
  4.  I am my child’s lifelong teacher.
  5.  I can trust my maternal intuition.
  6.  I am learning to be a better mother with each new day.
  7.  I will take care of myself in order to be a good mother.
  8.  I am doing the best that I can for my children and it is enough.
  9.  I am becoming a more confident mother with each new day. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
  10.  My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day
  11.  I am creating positive, lifelong memories with my children.
  12.  I know better than anyone else what my children need.
  13.  I am allowed to ask for help as a mother. I deserve time to relax.
  14.  Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
  15.  The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

 

Which of these mama-mantras stands out to you today?

 

 

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Articles, Blogs

TEENS – Drug Abuse & Addiction

World Health Organization defines drug addiction as follows:

“Drug addiction is the state of periodic or chronic intoxication detrimental to the individual and to society, produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). Its characteristics include (1) an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means (2) a tendency to increase the dosage, and (3) a psychic (psychological) and sometimes physical dependence on the effects of the drug.”

This is emerging as a challenge that requires immediate attention and policy intervention from Indian government.  Young generation is the premise to build future of the nation and if current generation is deeply immersed with such addiction, nation will be deprived of productive human resources in the future.

Teens who abuse drugs may have a greater risk of developing an addiction when they grow adults. Drugs have a more drastic effect on children and teens than on adults because the brain continues to develop until about age 20. In young age alcohol and other drugs disrupt brain development. They negatively affect a person’s memory and ability to respond to stimuli and to respond to stressful situations.

Anyone who tries a drug initially never plans to become addicted. Just because a teen has tried drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean he/she will become an addict. There is difference between drug abuse and addiction. Addiction occurs when frequent usage of drugs effects brain functions over time. The transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use reflects changes in the brain’s natural inhibition and reward centers that keep a person from exerting control over the impulse to use drugs. Developing brains are also more prone to addiction. Teenager’s brain adapt more quickly to repeated drug use, leading to cravings and dependence.

There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behaviour of teenage drug and alcohol use.

Curiosity: Many teens begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol simply because they are curious and want to know what it feels like. Even if they know that drugs are bad, they don’t believe that anything bad can actually happen to them.

Peer Pressure: Peers are most influential at this stage of life. Many teens use drugs “because others are doing it”—or they think others are doing it—and they fear not being accepted in a social circle that includes drug-using peers.

Having Fun :  Past studies used to point to “having fun” as the number-one reason teens using drugs. It’s fun getting drunk or high with friends, sharing an intensely pleasurable drug-induced euphoria. Teens don’t get addicted to substance but they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings. Abused drugs interact with the neurochemistry of the brain to produce feelings of pleasure. The intensity of this euphoria differs by the type of drug and how it is used.

Lack of Confidence/ Low Self-Esteem:  A study reported that most of the teens say that they use drugs to “feel cool.” Teens’ self-worth depends on the approval of others, and their desire for social acceptance can drive them to engage in destructive behaviors, even if they know it could harm them. Teens who have low self-esteem are more likely to seek acceptance from the wrong crowd by using drugs.

Stress: Some teens turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escapism. Many teenagers are overly stressed with a packed schedule of advanced classes and extracurricular activities. A lack of coping skills can lead them to seek an artificial method of coping with stress.  When they feel stressed or pressurized they see these substances as a way to forget existing problems and feel happier.

Misinformation: Studies show that teens are widely misinformed about the risk/dangers attached to drugs abuse. Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs. Teens need to be educated by parents and teachers about the specific risks of drugs.

If you are concerned that your teen might be using drugs, here are some common warning signs to watch for.

Behavioural Changes:

  • Decreased interest in activities and hobbies.
  • Isolating themselves from friends or family.
  • Acting secretive.
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Changing friends or social circles.
  • Extreme highs and lows
  • Slurred or rapid-fire speech.
  • Unusual tiredness 

    Physical Changes:

  • Bloodshot Eyes.
  • Poor hygiene
  • Smell of smoke on breath or clothes
  • Excessive thirst or hunger
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Coordination problems
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Shakes or tremors
  • Pinpoint pupils

The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility. Teens are also more likely to take excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol because of how they perceive the risks and dangers.

Alcohal: Intake in liquid state e.g  Beer, Whisky, Rum, Vodka

Marijuana: Also called weed, pot, grass, ganja and many more other slang names. It’s get consumed by smoking and vaporizing

Prescriptions and Over-the-counter Medications: Pills, Capsules, Injections, Syrups

Smack (Heroine): is a white or brown. It can be mixed with water and injected with a needle. Heroin can also be smoked or snorted up the nose. Also called Snow, White lady, Horse, H, Eagle, Chitta, Brown Sugar, Mud

Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts. Parents can play an important role in keeping their kids away from this curse.

Strong Bond: Have a strong bond with your child. Teens who have healthy relationships with their parents may be more likely to discuss their encounters with drugs.

  • Having at least one meal a day with the entire family present
  • Making time to talk with teenagers regularly to check in with their feelings, activities and behaviours
  • Getting to know a teenager’s friends and their parents
  • Communicating with teachers and school counselors on an ongoing basis
  • Participating in community activities that keep schools and neighborhoods safe for teenagers
  • Attending your teen’s school activities and showing support for her interests
  • Letting your teenager know every day that you love him and care about his future

Teach Your Teen How to Say No to Friends: Friends are important. Teens trust their friends, and they seek their approval. However, children need to know how to resist peer pressure and make their own decisions. If a friend offers alcohol or drugs, your child must understand the power of saying no. When surrounded by friends who avoid drugs and alcohol, saying no becomes easier. Encourage your teen to hang out with friends who choose not to use alcohol and other drugs.

Discuss Risk involved in Substance abuse: Being involved in your teen’s life is one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse. Having open and honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, drug use and peer pressure can make a huge difference. Parents who do not want their kids getting drunk and using drugs should begin by sending a strong message to their children about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Be a Role Model: One of the most important ways parents influence their children is by being positive role models. Teens mimic what they see. That means parents should keep alcohol and other drugs away from the home. If you drink in front of your children, do so in moderation and explain why it’s important for kids to abstain from alcohol until their brains are fully developed.

Engage them in Physical & other recreational activities: Keep them busy in sports, art, music, dance or any other activity they want to pursue in life. People those who pursue their hobbies have lesser chance to get addicted.

Key Points:

  • Many teens experiment with drugs, but aren’t addicted.
  • No one who tries a drug; plan to become addicted.
  • Some people can have one drink or one hit and stop. It’s not as easy for others — especially those who have a family history of addiction.
  • Teens don’t get addicted to substance they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings.
  • Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs.
  • Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise.
  • Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts.
  • The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility

“Let’s raise children who don’t have to recover from mistakes of childhood in their youth”

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Blogs

Tech ‘N’ Toddlers

Too much of anything is not good and this also stands true about exposure of Media available today to kids. I have been receiving numerous queries from parents in this regard:

  • What shall be the permissible limit to play video games?
  • To which extent shall we allow our kids to watch TV
  • How to differentiate their viewing of educational videos from entertainment videos?

Good part about this problem is that parents at least started realizing that problem exists. Let’s  discuss how to address this issue.

Rules for TV watching:

  1. Separate Viewing from Chewing:

If you allow your child to watch television while eating meal, it might make your child become heavily dependent upon it. Research shows that the particular combination of eating while watching something is a strong motivator to get your kids hooked to TV.

  1. Decide What is allowed to be watched:

Children can easily hook upon a movie or a TV series that aren’t meant for them. This is why it is imperative that you decide what is best for your child. It shall be age appropriate.

  1. Set a Family Time for watching TV

Have time when you and your kids can enjoy a fun family movie once in a while. This will give you the chance to interact with your kids and spend some quality time together.

  1. Kid’s room should not have the TV

TV does keep kids out of your way when you’re busy, but giving your kids a separate television for their rooms is simply asking for trouble. Your kids are more likely to find and watch inappropriate programs and you will not be able to control what they watch, and the amount of time they spend on the TV.

Rules for Video Games:

  1. Having fun with video games should only be allowed after children have taken care of other responsibilities. For example, parents are strongly advised to set a rule that video games can only be played after homework is completed (and completed with effort).
  1.  Access to computer/video games should be viewed as an earned privilege, not an automatic right.
  2.  Keep computers and gadgets out of a child’s bedroom. It is much easier to limit computer gaming (and monitor online activity) if computers are in open spaces or family rooms. To ensure children not getting addicted to computer games this is perhaps the first step parents should take.
  3. Children addicted to computer games will happily play for hours at a time. Although this can provide valuable free time for busy moms and dads, parents need to make sure that computer games are not their child’s primary activity or form of entertainment.

What’s Recommended?

  • Toddlers up to 18 months old: No Screen time
  • Toddlers up to 18 months to 24 months: Some Screen time with a parent or caregiver.
  • Preschoolers: Not more than 1 hour a day of educational program, together with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they’re watching.
  • Children above 5 years: Parents should place consistent limits on screen time, which includes TV, social media and video games.

       

Board Games & Outdoor Games:

Encourage your child to get engaged in other activities that are more beneficial to them in both ways mentally and physically. Kids should be doing things that are intellectually enriching: playing with board games, playing with dice, playing with things that will improve their motor skills, reading skills, logics, visual ability & concentration. You need to have at least 4-5 different board games at home, 1-2 single player games and 2-3 multi-player games.

Spare time to play with your child. Cherish these moments.

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

 

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Manish Sharma published in Blogs

Art Of Praising Your Child

Parents usually understand the need of praising child. But most of them don’t have much idea about the effective manner, timing and frequency of praising child. Studies and literature also have different opinion about this. Some experts recommend that we shall praise freely and lavishly, on the other hand few warn not to overdo the applause.

Both of the opinions seem correct as experts have strong premise to prove their argument.

First set of experts says it’s very important to praise children as it;

  • encourages them to improve
  • keeps them motivated
  • boosts their self esteem and confidence
  • helps get right behaviour repeated

Second set of experts warn not to praise too much because;

  • child will find it difficult to judge his/her work accurately
  • the more praise children receive, the more they rely on adult evaluations instead of forming their own judgments
  • they afraid to take risks and try new things for fear of not always being on top.
  • it can also lead to some children becoming overconfident
  • There is a great debate among experts about the effects of praise on children. This debate is not about praising or not praising rather difference of opinion is because of way of praise and amount of praise.

So let’s discuss five key points which will help us to draw a balanced approach.

1. Be Specific when Praising

Praise is much more than only saying “Good Boy” or “Good Girl”, be specific about what the praise is for. When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Instead of saying “Wow, you did a great art work” say “Your choice of red & yellow colour has made this work great”

This way your child will also get to know that you are noticing his/her work, and will encourages him/her to do more.

2. Praise the efforts not only results

You can always point out improvement no matter how small e.g. “You really have picked up on your reading
Appreciate”. Highlight their effort “I can see you really tried hard to get it right”

If you are looking for improvement then you need to praise the efforts and don’t need to wait for results to praise. Praising efforts can encourage your child to try hard in the future.

3. Praise must be genuine and sincere

Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not. Even young kids can see right through false praise. Praise should reflect the amount of effort the child put in. Earned praise reinforces your child’s effort and is encouraging.

4. Praise the process/behaviour rather than the Child

“You’re such a good player” or “You have such a beautiful singing voice.” Be careful with this kind of praise which tends to focus on their inborn strengths/abilities. If he believes he arrived prepackaged with certain abilities, he might think he doesn’t need to improve in those areas.

It’s better to focus on process. In Process-based praise emphasize on what he can control, such as how much time he spends on a project or which strategies he uses.

“I am so impressed at how hard you worked on your science project” is more empowering than “Wow, you’re good at science !”

6. Praise in Public – Correct in Private

If you get an opportunity to appreciate your child in public, you can multiply the impact of positive appreciation. Praise in Public becomes celebrations for receiver, it creates that big impact. Choose to correct them in private because if you choose to correct in public it becomes criticism.

6. Accentuate the Positive

Respond to wanted behaviors of your child more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The key to getting great results is to pay attention to “what’s going right” rather than “what’s going wrong”

Try to eliminate constant negativity around and put the focus on all the wonderful, positive things your children are doing instead. Catch them doing right things and appreciate them immediately.

Praising your child is an art and you can master it by practicing above stated Six points.

Happy Parenting !!

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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