Inspiration

Nidhi Poddar published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

🌟 The Little Words Your Child Will Never Forget: The Art of Praising Your Child

As parents, we often find ourselves reminding our children what not to do. But how often do we pause to notice what they are doing right?

A little appreciation, a warm smile, or a simple “I saw how hard you tried” can mean so much to a child.

Praising our children isn’t about making a big deal out of everything they do. It’s about noticing their efforts, appreciating the little things, and encouraging them along the way.

Here are six simple ways to make praise more meaningful.

1. Be Specific 🎯

Instead of just saying “Good job!”, tell your child what you liked. Try saying, “I loved how you put all your toys back in their place.” This helps them understand and repeat positive behaviours.

2. Appreciate the Effort đŸŒ±

Don’t wait for your child to get everything right. Notice their attempts too. A simple “You kept trying even when it was difficult” encourages them to keep going.

3. Keep It Genuine ❀

Children don’t need constant compliments; they need honest ones. Say what you truly mean, and let your appreciation come naturally.

4. Praise What They Do, Not Just Who They Are ✹

Instead of saying, “You are so smart,” try, “You thought of a lovely way to solve that puzzle.” This encourages children to value their efforts and explore new ways of doing things.

5. Appreciate in Public, Correct in Private đŸ€—

Celebrate your child’s little wins, especially when they enjoy being appreciated. When something needs correcting, speak to them calmly and privately. Children need guidance, not embarrassment.

6. Catch Them Doing Something Right đŸŒŒ

We are often quick to notice mischief, mess, or mistakes. Let’s also notice when our children share, help, listen, or try to do something independently. A little appreciation can go a long way in encouraging these behaviours.

A Little Reminder for Parents 💛

From the toddler years onwards, children learn so much through our everyday interactions. The way we respond when they try, make mistakes, help others, or do something independently matters.

We don’t have to praise every little thing or make every moment a celebration. Sometimes, a smile, a hug, or a few kind words are enough.

Let’s try to notice more of what’s going right, appreciate the little efforts, and spend less time pointing out what’s going wrong.

Because sometimes, the smallest words of appreciation become the biggest encouragement for our children.

Bachpan and Beyond
Nidhi Poddar | Parenting Coach

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Sunny Nagpal published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

Three Questions That Can Change Your Child’s World

From “What’s wrong with you?” to “I’m here. Let’s understand it together.”

By Brain Coach Sunny

Imagine this.

It’s 8:15 in the morning.

One child can’t find their socks. Another hasn’t finished their homework. The school bus is almost here. The lunchbox is still open. Your phone is ringing, the milk is boiling, and somebody has just announced that they don’t want to go to school today.

And then you hear yourself say


“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Silence.

A little face looks down.

You continue getting everything ready. The bus arrives. The day moves on.

But later, perhaps while folding clothes or washing a cup, you remember that little face.

And a quiet voice inside you asks, “Did I hurt my child?”

Dear Mumma, if you have ever been there, come, sit beside me for a moment. ❀

No judgement. No lecture. No parenting report card.

Just two human beings trying to do their best.

Because motherhood is not always a beautiful photograph with matching clothes and happy smiles. Sometimes, it is messy hair, unfinished work, tired eyes, big feelings and a heart that loves deeply but doesn’t always know what to do next.

And sometimes, the smallest change in a question can open the biggest door in a relationship.

Let’s explore three questions together.

1. “What’s wrong with you?” — Or am I simply overwhelmed?

We say these words in different ways.

“Why can’t you listen?”

“Why are you so careless?”

“Why can’t you be like your cousin?”

“Why do you always create problems?”

Most mothers don’t wake up in the morning planning to hurt their children.

They wake up planning to take care of them.

They want their children to be educated, confident, safe, successful and happy. They worry about marks, competition, screen time, friendships, safety and the future.

In today’s India, parenting can feel like running a race in which the finish line keeps moving.

One child has tuition. Another has swimming. Someone else is learning coding at age eight!

And somewhere along the way, a mother starts wondering, “Am I doing enough?”

When fear becomes louder than connection, even a small mistake can feel like a big problem.

A forgotten notebook becomes carelessness.

A tantrum becomes disrespect.

A poor mark becomes a prediction of the future.

A child’s difference becomes something to correct.

But what if we paused for a moment?

What if the child isn’t deliberately trying to make your day difficult?

Perhaps they are tired. Perhaps they are struggling to express an emotion. Perhaps they need clearer boundaries, more practice, reassurance or support.

We cannot know what is happening simply by looking at a behaviour. But we can begin by getting curious instead of jumping to conclusions.

A small Brain Coach Sunny reminder: Behaviour deserves understanding, not instant labelling.

And here’s something equally important.

Sometimes, the person who needs understanding first is YOU.

Perhaps you are exhausted. Perhaps nobody asked how your day was. Perhaps you have been carrying ten responsibilities and smiling through all of them.

You are a human being, Mumma. Not a machine with a saree, a lunchbox and unlimited patience!

You deserve care, too.

Your reflection question:

When your child tests your patience, what might you need in that moment — rest, help, reassurance, or a little kindness towards yourself?

Take a breath before you answer.

You may discover that the anger is only the top layer of a much deeper feeling.

And discovering that is not weakness. It is the beginning of awareness.

2. “What’s happening inside you?” — The beautiful art of getting curious

Imagine your child comes home from school, throws the bag on the floor and says, “I hate school!”

Your first response might be:

“Don’t talk like that! You have everything. Other children would love to have your opportunities.”

But what if you tried something different?

You sit beside your child.

You put your phone away.

And you ask gently:

“Something happened today, didn’t it? Would you like to tell me?”

Perhaps your child says another student laughed at their answer.

Perhaps they felt left out during a game.

Perhaps they couldn’t understand a lesson and were afraid of looking foolish.

Or perhaps they simply had a difficult day and don’t yet have the words to explain it.

You don’t have to solve everything immediately.

You don’t have to become a detective, therapist, teacher and motivational speaker in the same five minutes!

Sometimes, you can simply listen.

“Tell me more.”

“That sounds difficult.”

“I’m glad you told me.”

“Would you like a hug, some help, or a little time?”

These small responses tell a child something precious:

My feelings are welcome here. I don’t have to hide them to be loved.

This does not mean saying yes to every demand or allowing every behaviour. Children still need boundaries, responsibility and guidance.

It means offering those boundaries without making the child feel that their worth is in question.

And here’s where understanding your child’s individuality matters.

One child may talk through a problem. Another may need quiet time before opening up. One may learn best by doing. Another may love words, stories or pictures.

Some children express themselves loudly. Others become very quiet.

There is no single conversation that works perfectly for every child.

Get to know the little person in front of you.

Notice what lights them up. What frustrates them. What they keep practising without being asked. What they find difficult. What makes them feel safe enough to try again.

Their interests can offer clues to their strengths. Their struggles can show you where they need support.

Your child is not a school report waiting to be improved.

Your child is a person waiting to be understood.

Your reflection question:

If your child could tell you one thing without fearing your reaction, what do you think they would want you to understand?

Don’t rush to answer for them.

Create the space in which they can answer for themselves.

You might be surprised by the little world that opens up.

3. “I’m here. Let’s understand it together.” — The courage to repair

Now, let’s talk about the moments we wish we could take back.

The time you shouted.

The comparison you made.

The promise you forgot.

The day your child wanted to show you a drawing, but you were too busy to look.

The evening you reacted to a small mistake because you were carrying a very big day.

Dear Mumma, you cannot go back and change yesterday.

But you can choose what happens next.

You can walk into your child’s room, sit beside them and say:

“I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier.”

“I was upset, and I spoke harshly. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t deserve to be spoken to that way.”

“Next time, I’ll try to handle my feelings differently.”

“Can we talk about what happened?”

Notice something beautiful here.

You are not saying that every rule was wrong.

You are not giving up your role as a parent.

You are showing your child that people can take responsibility, apologise and try again.

You are teaching emotional courage through your own actions.

And perhaps your child will learn to say, “I’m sorry, too,” when they make a mistake.

Not because they are afraid of losing your love, but because they understand the value of repairing a relationship.

Connection is not about never having a difficult moment. It is about learning how to find your way back to each other.

And now, Mumma, there is one more person who deserves an apology.

You.

Yes, you.

The woman who is still thinking about that one impatient sentence.

The mother who keeps replaying yesterday’s mistake while preparing today’s breakfast.

The woman who loves her children so much that she sometimes forgets she is learning, too.

Can you place your hand on your heart and say:

“I am learning.”

“I am allowed to make mistakes.”

“I can take responsibility without hating myself.”

“I can do better without calling myself a bad mother.”

“I deserve the same kindness I want to give my child.”

Please remember this: forgiving yourself does not mean pretending that nothing happened. It means acknowledging what happened, repairing what you can and choosing a more helpful response next time.

Guilt can remind us to make things right. Shame tells us that we ourselves are wrong.

You can learn from your actions without turning them into a verdict on your entire motherhood.

You don’t need to punish yourself forever to prove that you love your child.

Your reflection question:

What is one moment in your parenting journey that you are ready to learn from, make amends for, and finally stop using to punish yourself?

Give yourself permission to begin again.

Your child is growing.

And so are you.

A little game for Mumma and Me

Tonight, try a five-minute connection game.

No teaching. No correcting. No checking homework.

Just five minutes of being together.

Take turns completing these three sentences:

❀ I feel loved when


đŸŒ± Something I wish you understood about me is


đŸ€— One thing we can do together this week is


Let your child answer first if they wish. Listen without arguing with their feelings. You can share your own answers, too.

If the conversation feels awkward, smile. You’re learning a new language together — the language of understanding.

And if your child doesn’t want to talk today, that’s okay. Connection can also begin with drawing, playing, walking, reading or simply sitting beside each other.

Small moments, repeated with care, can make a meaningful difference.

My promise as Brain Coach Sunny

My mission comes from a deeply personal place.

I know what it feels like to receive things and still long to feel understood, supported and appreciated.

I know how easily self-doubt, fear and feelings of not being enough can follow us into adulthood.

And I believe every child deserves the opportunity to grow up discovering their worth, their strengths and their unique way of being in the world.

I want to help mothers understand their children’s individual needs, recognise their gifts, and nurture relationships where children feel seen, heard, loved, valued, appreciated and understood.

Not through perfect parenting.

Not through endless pressure.

But through awareness, connection, curiosity and love.

Because our children don’t need us to build a childhood in which nothing ever goes wrong.

They need us to help them discover that when things do go wrong, they can ask for help, learn, repair and begin again.

And mothers deserve that same grace.

So, the next time your child struggles, remember our three questions:

1. What’s wrong with you?
Pause. Notice your own feelings before reacting.

2. What’s happening inside you?
Get curious. Listen. Discover what your child might need.

3. I’m here. Let’s understand it together.
Connect. Guide. Repair. Grow together.

Three questions.

One relationship.

A thousand opportunities to begin again.

And perhaps, one day, your child will grow up and remember:

“My mother wasn’t perfect. But she tried to understand me. And when she made mistakes, she came back, held my hand and tried again.”

Dear Mumma, that is a beautiful legacy to leave.

You are not just raising a child. You are helping shape the voice they may one day use to speak to themselves.

Let that voice be kinder.

Let that voice be stronger.

Let that voice say, “I am worthy of love, even when I make mistakes.”

And let that journey begin with you.

With love, a smile and a little more kindness for yourself,

Brain Coach Sunny

Decode before you develop. Connection before correction.

One final question for you, Mumma:

What is one sentence you wish someone had said to you when you were a little girl — and could you say those words to your child today?

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Sunny Nagpal published in Articles, Blogs, Community, Inspiration

What if the child who worked so hard to make everyone proud was simply longing to feel loved?

Sweet 42.

I am deeply grateful to my parents. They did their best, just as most parents do, with the love, understanding and resources they had.

They gave me so much.

And yet, somewhere inside me, there was a little boy who needed more appreciation, emotional support, reassurance and care.

Both things can be true.

You can be grateful for your parents and still acknowledge what your younger self needed.

For years, I wanted love.
Validation.
Approval.
Guidance from people I trusted.

I kept myself busy. Working. Achieving. Performing. Helping others. Trying to become better.

From the outside, it might have looked like ambition.

But deep inside, I now wonder


Was I trying to achieve something, or was I trying to earn a feeling?

The feeling of being enough.
Of being appreciated.
Of being seen.
Of being loved, without having to do anything extraordinary to deserve it.

Perhaps you know that feeling, too.

Perhaps you were the child who scored well, behaved well, made everyone proud or learned to hide tears behind a smile.

Perhaps you became the dependable adult who takes care of everyone but quietly wishes someone would ask, “And how are YOU doing?”

If this touches something inside you, pause for a moment.

You are not weak for having needed love.

You were a child.

And children need more than food, education, clothes and opportunities. They need to feel emotionally safe, valued, understood and accepted.

Our parents may have given us everything they knew how to give. Yet some of our emotional needs may have remained unnamed, even to ourselves.

For a long time, I didn’t know how to name mine.

And because I couldn’t name them, I couldn’t consciously learn to meet them.

I kept looking outside for something I had never learned to offer myself.

The Brain Coach’s Discovery

Through years of exploring brain patterns, human behaviour and innate strengths, I began noticing something fascinating.

Some people seem naturally comfortable taking risks, expressing themselves, receiving appreciation and trusting their abilities.

Others struggle with self-doubt, fear of rejection and the need for approval.

Our inborn temperament, experiences, relationships and environment can all influence how we respond to life. But our starting point doesn’t have to be our finishing point.

What comes naturally to one person can become a skill that another person learns.

Self-awareness can be learned.
Emotional vocabulary can be developed.
Self-compassion can be practised.
Confidence can grow.
And healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others can be nurtured.

That realisation changed something in me.

Brain decoding was never just about understanding someone’s strengths.

It was about understanding the human being behind those strengths.

And yesterday, something became even clearer.

I discovered my WHY.

I don’t want children to grow up believing they must hide their feelings, suppress their needs, perform perfectly or keep winning approval just to feel worthy of love.

I don’t want mothers to spend years wondering why their children behave differently from one another, why one needs encouragement while another needs space, or why the same parenting approach works for one child but not the other.

I want us to become curious about the little human being in front of us.

Not just, “How can I make my child behave?”

But, “What might my child be feeling, needing or trying to communicate?”

Because sometimes, behind the anger is frustration.

Behind the silence is a need for safety.

Behind the constant achievement is a fear of disappointing someone.

And behind the words “I’m fine” may be a child who doesn’t yet know how to say, “Please understand me.”

Of course, no single behaviour tells us exactly what a child feels. We have to listen, observe and ask with love.

Self-Love Is the Noodles. Love From Others Is the Sauce.

Years ago, I created a video using this metaphor.

Imagine sitting down to eat a delicious plate of noodles.

The noodles are your relationship with yourself.

The sauce is the love, appreciation and approval you receive from others.

The sauce makes the meal richer. It adds flavour, joy and connection.

We all need love from other people. Human beings thrive through caring relationships.

But what happens when you have only sauce and no noodles?

You may keep looking for another spoonful, another compliment, another achievement, another person to tell you that you matter.

And still, something feels missing.

Because the sauce was never meant to be the entire meal.

Cook your own noodles, my friend. ❀

Learn to appreciate yourself.
Listen to your emotions.
Respect your needs.
Celebrate your progress.
Speak to yourself with kindness.

Let other people’s love be the beautiful sauce that adds flavour to a life you are already learning to nourish.

And here’s my honest confession.

I could explain this metaphor intellectually long before I could fully live it.

Talking about self-love was easier than practising it on the days I felt unseen, unappreciated or uncertain.

Knowing the lesson and embodying it are two different journeys.

I am still learning.

And, for the first time, I am learning to enjoy the journey instead of treating myself like another project that needs fixing.

Perhaps healing begins when we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and gently begin asking, “What have I needed, and how can I care for myself now?”

The Little Acronym I Wish Every Parent Knew: S.E.E.N.

If you care for a child between 0 and 12, here is a simple reminder.

S — Stop and notice.
Look beyond the behaviour. What might your child be experiencing?

E — Explore their emotions.
Ask, “Are you feeling disappointed, worried, excited or something else?”

E — Encourage their uniqueness.
Notice their interests, natural strengths, pace and individual way of approaching the world.

N — Nurture without comparison.
Help them grow without making them feel they must become someone else to deserve your approval.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent.

You don’t need to get every conversation right.

Sometimes, the most powerful words are these:

“I may not understand yet, but I want to.”

“Tell me more.”

“You don’t have to win to make me proud.”

“I love you when you succeed, and I love you when you struggle.”

Imagine hearing those words as a child.

Imagine what they might have meant to you on the day you came home with disappointing marks, lost a competition, made a mistake or simply couldn’t explain why you were crying.

Perhaps you would have cried a little less.

Perhaps you would have smiled a little sooner.

Perhaps you would have felt safe enough to be yourself.

And perhaps, as an adult, you are now learning to offer yourself some of that same kindness.

It’s not too late.

You can honour your childhood without remaining trapped in it. You can be grateful for your parents while acknowledging your pain. You can love your family and still learn new ways of loving yourself.

That is not betrayal.

That is growth.

As psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

My Dream for Every Mother and Child

I dream of a world where children don’t have to become toppers to feel valued.

Where quiet children aren’t mistaken for weak children.

Where sensitive children aren’t told to stop feeling.

Where energetic children aren’t defined only by their restlessness.

Where children can discover their strengths without being compared to their siblings, classmates or neighbours.

Where mothers understand that their child isn’t a problem to be solved, but a person to be understood.

And where mothers also receive the same compassion they so freely give their children.

Because this is a win-win.

When we understand our children’s individual nature, we can respond with greater awareness instead of reacting from frustration.

When we understand ourselves, we can begin to recognise which reactions come from the present moment and which may be connected to our own unmet needs.

And when we learn to pause, listen and respond with care, we give the next generation an opportunity to grow with greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and confidence.

This doesn’t guarantee a perfect childhood or a life without struggles.

It offers something beautiful: a better starting point.

A child who learns that emotions can be named, mistakes can be discussed, strengths can be nurtured and love doesn’t have to be earned through constant performance.

That is the kind of leadership I want us to nurture.

Not leadership that needs to prove its worth every day.

But leadership that grows from knowing who you are, respecting others and having the courage to contribute your gifts.

At 42, I am learning to give myself some of what I spent years seeking from the world.

And I am grateful.

Grateful for my parents.
Grateful for my experiences.
Grateful for the work that helped me understand people.
Grateful for the little boy I once was, who kept trying so hard.

He wasn’t broken.

He was learning.

And perhaps, in some ways, so are we all.

If you are a mother of a child aged 0–12, or you know someone who is, please share this message.

Let’s help more families discover the beauty of understanding a child’s innate nature, nurturing their individual strengths and creating homes where children feel seen, heard, loved, valued, appreciated and understood.

Because the earlier we begin, the more opportunities we create for children to develop healthy ways of understanding themselves and relating to the world.

And if you are an adult still learning to love yourself, this message is for you, too.

You deserve kindness today, not only after your next achievement.

Sending smiles. 😊
Sending love.
And a little extra appreciation for the child you once were.

One question to sit with today:

If the little child you once were could sit beside you right now, what would they most need to hear from you — and what is one thing you could do today to help them feel loved?

I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.

With gratitude,
Brain Coach Sunny

#Gratitude #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #Leadership #SelfEsteem #GrowthMindset

 

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Dr. Susmita Kumari rout published in Articles, Blogs, Community, Inspiration, News,

Raising Humans, Not Report Cards: A Gentle Look at Child Development

Understanding Child Development: A Parenting Coach’s Perspective

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from years of working with families, it’s this: child development isn’t a straight line. It doesn’t move neatly from one milestone to the next. It’s messy, emotional, beautiful, and sometimes deeply confusing. Parents often come to me worried. “Is my child behind?” “Why is she suddenly so emotional?” “He was so cooperative before — what happened?” The truth is, development is not just about height, weight, or academic progress. It’s about the slow shaping of a human being — their thinking, emotions, behavior, relationships, and sense of self. And that shaping happens in layers.

Development Is More Than Milestones

We tend to measure children by visible markers: first words, first steps, first report card. Those matter, of course. But underneath those milestones, something far more important is happening. A toddler learning to walk is not just building muscle strength. They’re building confidence. A preschooler asking “why” for the hundredth time isn’t being difficult. They’re wiring their brain for curiosity. A teenager challenging rules isn’t rejecting you. They’re forming an identity. When we reduce development to checklists, we miss the deeper story.

Emotional Development: The Foundation We Often Overlook

In my sessions, I often see parents focus heavily on academics. “How do I improve focus?” “How do I make my child score better?” But before concentration and performance comes emotional safety. A child who feels safe — truly safe — learns better. They take risks. They bounce back from failure. Emotional development begins long before children can explain their feelings. It begins when a baby cries and someone responds. It grows when a parent names a feeling: “You’re upset because your toy broke.” It strengthens when a child’s emotions are acknowledged instead of dismissed. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need emotionally available ones.

Cognitive Growth Happens in Everyday Moments

We sometimes imagine learning as something that happens at a desk. But real cognitive development happens while cooking together, solving sibling conflicts, building with blocks, or even getting bored. Yes, bored. Boredom pushes creativity. It nudges problem-solving. It invites imagination. When every moment is filled with structured activity, we unintentionally rob children of the chance to think independently. Simple conversations at dinner can strengthen reasoning skills more effectively than extra worksheets.

Social Skills Start at Home

Before children learn how to make friends, they learn how to relate to you. Do they feel heard? Do they feel respected? Do they see conflict handled calmly? Children absorb patterns. The way we handle stress, disagreement, and apology becomes their blueprint. If we shout, they learn shouting. If we listen, they learn listening. This doesn’t mean we never lose patience. It means we repair when we do. Repair is one of the most powerful tools in development. A simple “I’m sorry I raised my voice” teaches accountability better than a lecture ever could.

Every Child Has a Unique Timeline

One of the hardest things for parents today is comparison. Social media makes it worse. It feels like every child is reading early, speaking confidently, winning medals. But development is not a race. Some children bloom early. Others take their time and then surge ahead in unexpected ways. I’ve seen quiet children grow into strong leaders. I’ve seen academically average students develop remarkable emotional intelligence that carries them further than grades ever could. When we rush children to meet external standards, we risk disconnecting from who they actually are.

What Children Really Need

After all the research, theories, and frameworks, the core needs are surprisingly simple:
  • Consistent love
  • Clear boundaries
  • Emotional validation
  • Opportunities to explore
  • Space to fail safely
Notice that none of these mention perfection. Children thrive not because their parents do everything right, but because they feel secure enough to grow.

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

Child development is not a project to manage. It’s a relationship to nurture. There will be phases that test you. Regression after progress. Big emotions out of nowhere. Sudden independence that feels like rejection. Take a breath. Often, what looks like misbehavior is growth in disguise. What feels like defiance is a child practicing autonomy. What seems like clinginess is a need for reassurance during change. If you stay curious instead of reactive, you will see development unfolding right in front of you. And here’s something I tell every parent I work with: You are developing too. As your child grows, so do you. Your patience stretches. Your understanding deepens. Your triggers surface. Parenting is not just about raising a child — it’s about refining yourself alongside them. So instead of asking, “Is my child developing correctly?” perhaps ask, “Am I creating an environment where development feels safe?” That question changes everything.
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Dr. Susmita Kumari rout published in Articles, Blogs, Community, Inspiration, News,

The Art of Connection: Mastering the Six Principles of Appreciation in Parenting

In our busy lives, fostering a deep connection with our children can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. Yet, the foundation of a strong parent-child relationship lies in effective communication and genuine appreciation. By mastering the art of connection through the principles of appreciation, you can nurture your child’s self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Here are six key principles to help you build this vital connection.

1. Be Specific When Praising

Vague compliments can feel hollow to children. Instead of a simple “Good job!” be specific about what you appreciate. This clarity helps children understand exactly what behavior to repeat. For example, say, “I love how you worked so hard on your art project; your attention to detail is impressive!” This not only boosts their confidence but also reinforces positive behaviors.

Why It Matters:
Specific praise helps children recognize their strengths and understand what they did well, encouraging them to continue those behaviors in the future.

2. Praise the Efforts and Progress, Not Just the Results

Children are often result-oriented, but it’s crucial to celebrate the journey. When you acknowledge their effort and progress—regardless of the outcome—you instill a growth mindset. For instance, if your child didn’t ace a test but studied hard, say, “I’m really proud of the effort you put into studying. That’s what matters!”

Why It Matters:
This principle helps children understand that learning and improvement are ongoing processes, reducing the fear of failure and promoting resilience.

3. Praise and Correction Should Be Separated

Timing is everything. When you need to correct a behavior, do it at a different time than when you give praise. For example, if your child misbehaves, address it calmly when emotions have settled. Praise can then be given at moments that showcase positive behavior. This separation helps children absorb both the praise and the correction without feeling overwhelmed.

Why It Matters:
This approach fosters a safe emotional space, allowing children to appreciate your praise without conflating it with criticism.

4. Praise Must Be Genuine and Sincere

Children are perceptive; they can tell when praise is insincere. Always be authentic in your compliments. If you’re struggling to find something positive to say, it’s okay to acknowledge that they tried their best, even if the outcome wasn’t ideal. For example, “I appreciate how you put in the effort to try something new, even if it was challenging.”

Why It Matters:
Genuine praise builds trust and strengthens your bond, showing your child that you truly see and value their efforts.

5. Praise in Public, Correct in Private

Public acknowledgment can boost a child’s confidence significantly. Whether at family gatherings, school events, or playdates, take moments to highlight their achievements. Conversely, when corrections are necessary, address them in private. This ensures your child feels supported rather than embarrassed, maintaining their dignity.

Why It Matters:
This balance not only nurtures their self-esteem but also fosters a sense of security, knowing that they have your unconditional support.

6. Accent the Positive

In every situation, try to highlight the positives. When faced with challenges, encourage your child to focus on what went well and what they learned, rather than dwelling on mistakes. For example, if they strike out in a game, remind them of their great teamwork or how they improved from last week.

Why It Matters:
Focusing on the positives encourages resilience, allowing children to navigate setbacks with a constructive attitude.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of connection through these six principles of appreciation can profoundly impact your relationship with your children. By being specific, celebrating effort, timing your praise and corrections wisely, being genuine, recognizing them publicly, and accentuating the positives, you cultivate an environment of love and understanding. Remember, the goal is to build a strong connection that nurtures your child’s growth and self-worth. Start practicing these principles today, and watch as your relationship flourishes, creating lasting bonds that will carry them through life.Continue reading

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Nirmal Deepa published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

What is Reparenting and How to Begin

Our childhood is where the subconscious mind is formed.

It’s also where we learn how we process emotions, what relationships look like, how to hold boundaries, and countless other habits and behaviours.

Ideally, our parents are two different people brought up in different situations who allow their children to be seen and heard as the unique individual they are. The reality is that we live in a culture that does not teach conscious awareness, so most of us are born to unconscious parents.

Unconscious parents are repeating the same habits and patterns they’ve learned. They’re operating from a wounded space because of their own unprocessed emotions.

It’s important to understand that parents can only parent from their own level of awareness.

We can only give others what we have practiced giving ourselves.

Some of you reading this might be thinking “My childhood is over, there’s no reason to go back there.” Or “If my childhood is where I learned most of my coping mechanisms, I’m screwed.”

We tend to be protective and defensive around our childhood experience, but the truth is we have a unique opportunity to heal and consciously choose different behaviour as adults. Regardless of what we have experienced in our past.

This process is called reparenting.

Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.

Now, it is time for us to do the best we could with our own evolved level of awareness.

Reparenting is our personal responsibility. Anyone can begin the process of reparenting themselves. It takes time, commitment, and patience. There is no quick fix. It will require you to show up every day. But it will allow you to heal and forgive.

The 4 Pillars of reparenting are:

Discipline, Joy, Emotional Regulation, and Self-care.

Depending on your unique childhood experience, some of these will be more difficult than others. Discipline was the most difficult part when there are unspoken and unresolved tantrums. For example, there was no part of you that wanted to wake up early, or really do anything “planned.” It was a process of grieving for past self as well as self-compassion to allow you to view discipline in another way.

Another major struggle for one would be finding joy. Joy is an emotional experience. It’s the product of spontaneity, play, creativity, and pure presence. Part of discovering joy is learning your own unique passions and interests. This is something I had to spend time connecting to. I had to relearn “me.”

Emotional regulation will take lots of effort when you do parent your kids along with reparenting yourselves. With days and months and years of effort you can achieve it and with consistency it can be carried forward in the life journey.

Self-care starts with loving and accepting ourselves in everything we do and whatever we do. When there is a feel of oneness within oneself this can be felt magical.

Reparenting will bring us so much more confidence, empathy, and creative energy.

Here are 5 Steps to Begin:

  1. Breathe consciously:

It’s easy to become overwhelmed. Reparenting is a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s not something that happens over a couple of months. If you try to do too much of this work at once, you’ll become overwhelmed and fall back into old patterns. Follow the steps, do not try to do too much at once.

  1. Keep one small promise to your yourself every day:

This step should be so small that it’s seemingly insignificant. You need to choose something that sets you into a situation where you’ll succeed. Some good examples are: meditate for 2 minutes, go for a 5-minute walk around the block each morning, cook one meal at home every day, future self-journal each night before bed. Time is important here: do not choose any promise that takes more than 10 minutes in total.

  1. Tell someone you trust (other than your parents) that you’re beginning the process:

do not share that you’re doing this with your parents. It’s not necessary, and can be hurtful to them. Remember, they did the best they could with their level of awareness and will likely become defensive if you talk about this. Reparenting is for you. If you have a partner or a close friend, let them know you’re working on this. Support will be helpful.

  1. Use this Mantra:

“What can I give myself right now?” This is a mantra I use often. As children, we weren’t always given what we needed. As adults we have an opportunity to give what we need to ourselves. When you feel yourself having strong emotions, ask this question. Sometimes the answer for me is to disconnect with social media, or a need to get into the sun for 15 minutes. It’s ok if when you begin asking this question you feel confused or like there is no answer. Just continue asking. It’s a practice of connecting with intuition. If you stay committed, you’ll begin to get answers.

  1. Celebrate when you show up:

if we were not recognized, celebrated, and seen for the unique individual of who we are, we will quickly disregard the reality that we are showing up. Reparenting is difficult. Its soul work. Acknowledge the courage it takes. Own your progress. Celebrate the person you’re becoming.

In the journey of reparenting I am happy that I am becoming a different person and I am happy that I discovered it in the process of parenting. Thanks to my wonderful kid for giving me such a golden opportunity of being a parent.

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Sandhya Lal published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

How to get your Happiness Dose?

A question that is always asked to me “How can I be happy?” Happiness is an art which can be learnt. If you are a parent it is a boon in your life. Positive and Happy Parenting does take too much of your time and when practiced just like any other artform leads to a better state of mind and happier families. If you pay attention to what you do on the canvas it will be beautiful piece.  It is all about the choices you make in life. Just like an art piece we use colour, we have a medium, paints, and a canvas all come together to make a masterpiece. But if any one of the elements is not there you will not get the  outcome you want. So! For positive parenting you need to be happy first yourself. Today I am going to give you a a happy pill  “The Happiness DOSE for no added cost “. You heard me right it is free.

There are four hormones created in our body when we do certain activities. When you incorporate them in your life on a regular basis you are ensured true happiness.

THE DOSE IS

  1. D – DOPAMINE    – The reward Hormone
  2. O – OXYTOCINE   – The Love Hormone
  3. S  – SEROTONINE  – The Mood Stabilizer
  4. E  – ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

Let me explain these are not medicines you need from the store even though these may be prescribed as pills by docs in small doses. Why not get it by doing these activities?

1. D- Dopamine – The Reward Hormone

        This hormone is created in our body when you do something rewarding. Something we can do to increase DOPAMINE in our body is complete a pending task, trying to cook something new, taking up a hobby like singing, painting. When  you complete these tasks we feel happy. We also need  self-love like a grooming,  manicure, hair cut, trip to the saloon or buying something for yourself or your child. One must learn to celebrate the little things and small achievements in life. Try something new an activity that takes you out of your comfort zone and when you achieve success you will be rewarding your body with Dopamine. Do you know that even shopping for yourself helps release Dopamine. So! do groom and take care of yourself because self care is important too.

2. O- OXYTOCIN – The Love Hormone

The love hormone like the word suggests come when we do something that shows love. When we get a hug or hold hands, we are happy. A gentle touch a kiss on the cheek or forehead makes us happy. Playing with a baby or a pet will make us happy. Even receiving and giving a compliment, appreciation, and gratitude releases Oxytocin. As an adult even sex is important. So! Next time don’t be stingy in showering your loved one with hugs and kisses or a praise cause appreciation releases Oxytocin.

3. S- SEROTONIN – The Mood Stabilizer

What did you feel the last time you went for a holiday jumped in a swimming pool, walked in the nature or walked in nature , or took a trek ? Did you feel happy? Did you feel relaxed? When you attend a meditation session does your mind feel at peace? Well! The mood stabilizer SEROTONINE is at work during this time. You can do this even if you are not on a holiday. You may ask me how? Well! You can walk in the Garden next to your house early in the morning or take a run or jog on the road. Your body is

releasing this happy hormone. That’s why you see people who are into yoga, walking, running, cycling, and swimming are in a happy state when they are doing this activity. Doing this on a regular basis will make you a happier person. Your body releases Oxytocin.

4. E- ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

How do you feel when you ate dark-mint chocolate? How do feel when you enter a room that smelled beautiful and refreshing? When you exercise and sweat how does your body and mind feel? When you are not well i

n pain and friend comes along and makes you laugh. Do you feel the

 pain was less? If you have said yes! you feel happy, better, or less pain it is true because here 

at this time Endorphin is being pumped into your body in full swing. Too much chocolate will make you put on weight so then you need to work that extra calorie. When you enter a spa, and it smells good. What’s happening? Again, endorphins are released. These are all pain-relieving activities. So dark chocolate, essence and laughter is a natural pain killer. There is a saying “Laughter is the best medicine”. The next time you are low have a laugh.

You need to BOSS YOUR MIND and BODY to become happy and make sure you get your happiness dose everyday no matter what.

Now! That you know all the things you can do to stay in a happier state on mind you can apply this also with your children. Go down and play with them in the park, take a walk, play new games, laugh, dance exercise together.  Give a task to your child and reward them accordingly too.

Follow the HAPPINESS DOSE mantra to be a in a Happier state of mind. Remember theses activities are not just YOU BUT FOR YOUR FAMILY TOO

– Sandhya Lal

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Sunny Nagpal published in Inspiration

Do you want to be a millionaire parent?

The Millionaire YOU

Millionaire #mindset for kids.

All of us are born with this gift. Just go back in your early magical years, almost all in 0-5 years, we lived in abundance and not in lack.

In full confidence and not in doubt. Crawl, walk, brush, play and everything.

Let us celebrate life with the child like spirit. Your brain knows the secret. Let us relive to grow, to love, to connect, to feel more amazing and awesome.

Happy nurturing self and your child.

3H formula always works.

Head

Heart and

Hands.

Head is to explain logic, facts, figures, IQ is developed and report card is amazing.

Heart is to nurture values. Child learns values are much more important than valuables. EQ is more important than IQ. IQ makes one an executive, EQ makes one a manager and a leader.

Hands are for life skills, home skills, hand on skills going beyond knowledge and IQ.

Get set go with 3H. IQ and EQ. See you in the next blog on AQ, CQ and SQ. Be a smillanaire by being a Smiling Parent.

 

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