Consider these situations;
“Have u heard Nikita’s daughter failed in exams?She is least interested in her kids.”
“What is the need for Nikita to run business on cost of kids?”.Bache toh bigad he jayenge”
“Tabiyat theek nhi hai bache ki? Nikita, you must have not taken proper care of the child? “
Nikita’s husband says “Nikita , complaint from school, Its all your fault. Tumse he seeekha hai jhoot bolna”
All accusations are for mothers. Even when they are trying every day to be a perfect mother, perfect wife and sometimes even a perfect professional. They have to leave jobs or sideline their businesses for the sake of kids.
Kids want food- “Mummy”
Teaching kids-” Mummy”
Kids not doing something right, who to be hold responsible – “mummy”
Kids not studying and not getting marks- “mummy”
Kids fallen sick-“mummy”
Planning birthdays- “mummy”
Relatives and social responsibility- “mummy”
In many families, parenting is still treated as a mother’s responsibility, while a father’s role is often reduced to earning money and providing financial security. Sometimes even that financial burden has to be shared by mothers. Mothers are expected to feed children, manage their education, attend school meetings, remember vaccination dates, organise birthdays, comfort emotional outbursts, and maintain the household. And now modern moms have added few more new responsibilities to their wings like dropping and picking kids from school, taking them to activity classes, making a social group for them so the child become socially active. Even when they work full-time, they are expected to perform these duties without complaint.
The question is simple: Why is parenting considered a mother’s job when both parents are responsible for bringing a child into this world?
The emotional well being of the child depend on both the parents. No matter how hard a mother works for the betterment of the child, the father’s absence creates an emotional void in a child’s heart. From preparing breakfast to school to preparing for the next day there are endless responsibities of a mother. Children need time, attention, emotional security, guidance, and the active presence of both parents.
Why Does This Imbalance Continue?
Traditional gender roles teach girls to nurture and boys to provide. As a result, daughters may be trained in household work while sons are excused from it. Many fathers also grow up without seeing men actively involved in childcare, making unequal parenting seem normal.
Social expectations reinforce this pattern. A mother may be judged for neglecting her children to pursue a career, while a father may be praised simply for babysitting his own child. The word “babysitting” itself suggests that childcare is primarily the mother’s duty and the father is only helping.
However, a father caring for his own child is not helping the mother; he is fulfilling his responsibility as a parent.
So how can we bring about the change
It requires a change in mindset, habits, and family expectations.
- Divide responsibilities clearly. Parents should agree on who handles school preparation, meals, bedtime, medical appointments, homework, and household chores. The division should consider both partners’ working hours and circumstances, rather than automatically assigning childcare to the mother.
- Fathers take ownership. You should independently manage responsibilities instead of waiting for instructions. A father can track school deadlines, prepare meals, attend parent-teacher meetings, take children to the doctor, and comfort them when they are upset. Parenting means noticing what needs to be done and doing it.
- Raise children without gender stereotypes. Sons and daughters should both learn cooking, cleaning, caregiving, and financial responsibility. As all these are life skills which are important for both genders. Children who see their fathers sharing household work are more likely to understand equality as a normal part of family life.
- Stop glorifying maternal sacrifice.we need to stop praising mothers for managing everything alone while treating fathers’ basic involvement as exceptional. Mothers need appreciation, rest, personal time, and opportunities to pursue their own goals.
So to sum up ,a child needs two responsible adults who participate in daily life, offer emotional support, establish boundaries, and create a secure environment. Mothers don’t need to be super moms on the cost of their mental , physical and emotional health. It is a shared responsibility that both parents must fulfil. When fathers become equal participants in raising children, mothers gain time and opportunity, relationships become more balanced, and children learn that love is demonstrated through responsibility, respect, and everyday actions. Parenting is all about equal partnership.
