This is about a story I created for my son when he found it difficult to move on from a disappointing exam and focus on the next one.
As a mother, I have often wondered how we can help our children navigate disappointment. We want them to learn from their experiences, but we also want them to understand that one difficult moment should not take away their focus from what lies ahead.
It was during one such moment with my son, when he was struggling to put a difficult exam behind him and concentrate on the next one, that I created this story. I wanted to help him understand something that is easy to say but sometimes difficult to practice: we cannot change what has already happened, but we can choose where we direct our attention next.
And so, I told him a story – There was once a boy walking through a path. As he walked along the path, a stone struck his leg. It hurt. He felt the pain, but he had to go somewhere so he continued walking. Yet, as he walked, he kept turning back. He looked at the stone that had hurt him. He remembered the pain, replayed the moment in his mind, and kept looking back at what had happened.
An old man sitting by the path noticed him. “Why do you keep looking back?” he asked.
The boy explained how the stone had struck his leg and how much it had hurt.
The old man listened patiently and then said, “If you continue to look back at the stone that hurt you, you may not only keep reliving the pain, but you may also stumble over another stone and hurt yourself again. While you are busy looking behind, you may fail to notice what lies ahead.”
He paused and continued, “The stone has already hurt you once. Why allow it to hurt you again and again in your mind? Look ahead. There is a path in front of you, and you still have a long way to go.” The boy understood what the old man was trying to tell him.
But understanding a lesson and putting it into practice are two different things. Even after that conversation, the boy’s mind kept returning to the stone. The pain had happened, and the memory remained. He could not simply erase it because someone had given him good advice. But slowly, as he continued walking, he began to focus on the path ahead.
And eventually, he moved on.
When the story became personal
I created this story when my son had a difficult exam.
Sometimes, one disappointing experience can occupy a child’s mind long after the event itself is over. The exam may be behind them, but their thoughts remain stuck there.
What went wrong? Why did I make that mistake? Could I have done better? What if this affects my result?
The mind keeps returning to what has already happened, almost as if revisiting it could somehow change the outcome.
My son was finding it difficult to shift his attention to the next exam. The previous experience was still playing on his mind, making it harder for him to concentrate on what lay ahead.
I shared the story of the boy and the stone with him. I wanted him to understand that the disappointing exam was like the stone on the path. It had hurt him, and it was natural to feel upset about it. But repeatedly looking back would not change what had happened. Worse, it could take away the attention and energy he needed for the next exam.
He understood the message. But that did not mean the thoughts disappeared immediately.
The memories came back. The disappointment surfaced again. For a while, the previous exam continued to occupy his mind.
And that is something I have come to appreciate as a parent: understanding a lesson does not mean we can instantly put it into practice.
Sometimes, we need time to process an experience before we can truly move beyond it.
Eventually, my son began to move forward. As time passed, he was able to bring his attention back to his preparation and focus on the next exam.
He did not move on because the disappointment had never mattered. He moved on because he gradually learned to give more attention to what he could still do than to what he could no longer change.
What this taught me as a parent
As parents, we often want our children to bounce back quickly. We tell them not to worry, to forget what happened, to learn from their mistakes, and to focus on the future. Our intentions are good. We want to protect them from unnecessary stress and help them succeed. But perhaps moving on is not about asking children to forget what hurt them. Perhaps it is about helping them acknowledge the hurt without allowing it to decide what happ
ens next.
A child who has performed poorly in an exam may need reassurance before advice. They may need time before they can concentrate again. And they may need us to remind them that one difficult experience does not define their abilities or their future. We cannot always remove the stones from our children’s paths. We cannot prevent every disappointment, every setback, or every failure. But we can help them learn how to walk forward. We can teach them to reflect on their mistakes without repeatedly punishing themselves for them. We can encourage them to learn from the past without carrying its weight into every new experience.
And perhaps most importantly, we can give them the time and patience they need to practice what we share with them. Because sometimes, our children understand our words long before they are emotionally ready to act on them.
The path ahead
Life will place many stones on our paths. Some will cause a little discomfort. Others may leave us deeply disappointed. There will be moments when we keep looking back, wondering why something happened and wishing we could change it. But when we keep looking behind, we risk missing what is right in front of us. We may stumble over another stone simply because our attention is fixed on the last one. The goal is not to pretend the stone never hurt us. The goal is to learn from that moment, acknowledge the pain, and gradually bring our attention back to the path ahead. As parents, perhaps one of the most valuable lessons we can share with our children is this: You are allowed to feel hurt. You are allowed to take your time. But do not let what hurt you yesterday take away your chance to do better today.
There is still a path ahead. There are still opportunities waiting to be explored. And there is always something we can do with the next step. Sometimes, growing up is not about never falling or getting hurt.
It is about learning, one step at a time, when to stop looking back and start moving forward.
— Geetanjali Namboodri
Grow as Happy Parents | Katha.Vriksha
