Tag: Positive Moms

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

 

Kids crave for parents undivided attention. Gizmos, gadgets, devices all are an escape route for them when they are not given to do things they truly want to engage themselves with. Have we ever realized just as we have cravings children too crave for a lot of things? Cravings are not only associated with eating disorders or providing for a sweet tooth, there are emotional cravings too. These days the pace of life is so fast that it is easy to shrug off our children’s emotional and psychological needs. How about listening to those cravings of your child and addressing them one step at a time? While it may not be possible to settle all their needs and cravings in one go but as parents can we hear them out by paying close attention to what they truly desire from a parent? All that children need is an emotional connection with their parents or primary caregivers.

 

Here are 10 things that kids crave to do with their parents.

1. Mamma  – Tell me story or read to me

2. Play hide and seek with me.

3. Involve me in your work. Can i help you mamma?

4. Can you get me a surprise today?

5. Can you take me to the garden today?

6. Let’s do a bubble bath together ?

7. Can you put nail paint on me.

8. Come with me, stay with me all the time.

9. When are we meeting my friends ? (Since lockdown this is one of the most frequently asked question by my girls.)

10. Don’t go to the office today. I want to play with you.

 

Well some ‘asks’ are easy and fun while the others may not be easy to address on an everyday basis and that is okay. What is important is, to understand that kids do not need expensive objects or toys, all they require is undivided attention, unstructured playtime and a non judgmental approach from their parents. So, what do your children crave from you? Do give it a thought. Hear them out. It’s time to get reflective and give them what they truly desire from you even if it is in piece-meal.

 

Let’s try to invest time in our children because these will help you build beautiful memories as a family. If we are able to give them the desired attention, that in itself is playing a big role in settling their cravings. So, what are you thinking? Get set going and be a family that has fun rather than the one that’s always on the run.

 

I hope you found this blog useful. Do share your ideas and suggestions on how you think kid’s cravings can be addressed.

 

Happy Parenting!

Aditi Malik

Blogger, Podcaster and Parenting Coach.

PARENTING BEYOND EXPECTATION

PARENTING BEYOND EXPECTATION

PARENTING MANTRAS FROM JIJAMATA-MOTHER OF SHIVAJI MAHARAJ AND MOTHER OF SWARAJYA’

 

What is parenting?  How does ‘nurture’ influence development of Child?

A greatest example of it is how ‘Jijamata’ brought up ‘Shivaji’ as the great warrior, inspiration for everyone even in today’s era. She herself was warrior, administrator and later mentor for her child.

It is said that- Why we don’t have ‘Shivaji’ again because still there is no ‘Jijau’ who can brought up the son like ‘Shivaji’. ‘Chatrapati Shivaji’ could not have been the same without her mother. Shivaji owes his greatness to the inspiration of his mother, who dedicated her life to upbringing him become greatest ruler.

What I understood is- Jijau must have been the only woman in the history who decided the purpose of her child’s life even before it was born.

While she was pregnant, every comfort be conferred upon her but she wished none of it. Rather she preferred to climb to the top of fort, wield swords, discuss political issues, put on amour and ride on horse …..It taught us that ‘GARBHA SANSKAR’ means not merely reading books but it is a process to imbibe all the positive psychological forces in fetus (‘Garbha’).

In Maharashtra, most of the women during pregnancy read about ‘Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaja’ because she wants her child to be like ‘Shivaji’ but she cannot decide what qualities of ‘Shivaji’ they want to be embedded in her child. Is it power / Strength?

No. there were many ruler that were more powerful than ‘Shivaji’, then what qualities that made Shivaji, the ‘Chatrapati Shivaji’ – blood pride for every Indian.

Below are the qualities that she imbibed in Bal-Shivaji…-

  • Jijau instilled within Shivaji sense of Duty, Courage and Fortitude (It is strength of mind that enables person to encounter danger or bear pain).
  • She embedded importance of Values and Dharma by telling him stories.
  • Pride and Respect– Shivaji fought for the pride of ‘Swarajya’. In his life, Shivaji maharaj never crossed the line between pride and ego. He was always down to earth, treating all peoples equally and respectfully. It’s all by seeing his mother doing so.
  • Foresight- Jijau taught him the strategies and to thought ahead of the time. Always to think about future impact of any decision and have solution ready in advance for the same.
  • She taught him ‘Art of Politics’ and prepared him to be an honest ruler.

 

Thanks to all the training from ‘Jijau’ that helped him to handle trickiest situation with ease.

Last but not least, she had major role in nurturing/ parenting his grandson ‘Sambhaji Maharaja’, the great warrior, Sanskrit Pandit and also author of several books.

The efforts of parenting taken by JIJAMATA helped to fulfill dream of ‘Swarajya’.

 

Nurture a child, for betterment of Society and Nation”  ….the parenting lesson we can learn from her.

 

Raje..I am willing to see you being sacrificed on battle field but I cannot afford to have a blemish that I gave birth to a son who had scarred and ready to take his own life out of fear.” -Maharani Jijamata [Sourse- Shriman Yogi]

 

 Author:

Dr. Pradnya Gurav [Consulting Homeopath and Parenting coach ..DEEP]

Parenting – An Art and Science of Patience

Parenting – An Art and Science of Patience

It was not easy for us to get into the role of a parent when we first thought of it. It took us huge amount of time and energy and effort to accept the very fact of being a parent. The lives were going to change, priorities were going to change, the scheduling of every small event and activity was going to change. In short, we were going to change. Coming to this thought of being a parent tested us and our patience for the first time. And we realized what we were asking from our life. 😉

Although the decision was made by us but destiny had something else in store for us. We tried what not; ayurveda, homeopathy, allopathy but we were not getting the results. Slowly at our subconscious level we had started accepting it as a fact that probably we won’t be that lucky, ever. It was a very tough time for us, I still remember sitting with my wife and discussing about the possibility of adopting a child also. Days, months and years passed, lives got back to where it was. Work, functions and get together, a hectic schedule were a part of our life. We had still almost made it final that we are going to get a child adopted then on the same day we got to know that we are the blessed one. We were going to have our baby. We were very excited, doctor’s appointment was fixed and we went in. Doctor took my wife for check-up and I was waiting outside with an ocean of thoughts in my mind and a broad smile on my face. After sometime I was called inside and we were asked multiple questions as work and life style, daily schedule and most importantly schedule of the previous months. Now the excitement was getting replaced by concern and it was probably visible on our faces. After taking all the necessary information we were told that the baby did not survive. It was 5th year since we were married and we were seriously planning for it for a very long time. But it did not happen. Wait was still on. We were being tested for our patience. And trust me, the test was not easy. My wife had to suffer from huge trauma after that, those sleepless nights and continuous weeping was making it even worse for her and for me too. Fortunately our parents understood and were supportive so it took less time for us to come out of it. Life moved on, so did we. Life came back to normal and again we had this thought of being a parent. Whole cycle got repeated but this time we were more cautious and careful for everything hence we took extra care at every step. It was 10th year of our marriage and we were blessed with a handsome young prince, who is now of 4years.

But, why I m sharing this with you? What made me think that this story needs to be shared? I m not sharing it because of its uniqueness. As it is not unique, although it is very special and close to me. But I’m sharing it because these 10years exposed me to various experiences and learning and encounters with people which helped me put a foundation of taking up parenting as a topic to study and understand it in detail. I have seen many fathers and to be fathers so much disconnected with the process of being a parent that they miss on the joy of it. I’m not a medical expert but I know that the ‘to be mother’ goes through lot of mood swings and she is not able to reconcile her actions or thoughts or even reactions. This is the time when the ‘to be father’ needs to be with her, strong and mature to handle her. It is not only the responsibility of the mother to take care of the child but also of the father, equally, even before the child is born. We as parents or to be parents need to be extremely patient to handle this stressful situation and days of such stress. It’s not easy; it never was and never ever will be. But we have to accept it then only we can be a responsible father.

Once the child is born, responsibility and sharing increases. Many parents don’t realize the fact that the child is not saying anything in initial 2 years but is listening and observing everything that you do. And whatever we do around the child is shaping him for years to come. Hence patience is required a lot more than expected. Now a days it very concerning to see that people are expecting the child of 2 years or 3 years to behave with the maturity of 10 years. It is not possible and it’ll never be possible. Kids are going to be kids and we need to understand that. The sooner we realize this and act on it the easier it’ll be for all in the family. Handling tantrums and making them disciplined in itself is a challenging task and again patience is tested. We have to be extremely patient with the child. Imagine a small life is standing in front of you with huge questions in their mind. They are trying to decode the things and trying to put relations and combinations. And at the same time they want you to help them out. So instead of helping them if we shout at them or get irritated because of their questions, then are we not missing on the greatest pleasure of seeing a life bloom in front of our eyes? Understand their struggle; they are new to everything, even to you. And they are making their thoughts and beliefs observing you. Their condition is so fragile that they are not even having proper words to describe what they are feeling. And if we react to them with our head held high, the connect would never develop. And this is the reason many parents are missing the growing process of their kids and suddenly they realise that kids are all grown up and don’t have any emotional connection with them.

My overall experience with my kid and all the parents that I interact with, or observe or come across with, the major factor which can solve all these issues for all and which can realign these beautiful moments to be lived, is patience. We are today so much into our own work and life that we unknowingly ignore the most precious part of our life, our child. This is a bundle of joy which gives us an opportunity to look at our own self as a child through our own eyes. The small arms, when they wrap around your neck you feel blessed to be loved so much unconditionally. When the small twinkling eyes look at you with pride and affection and deep love, you feel being born again. When the small little hands hold your finger to take the first step of their life, it makes you feel your own journey of first steps again. The first word which addresses you makes you touch the sky. Their small talks, stories of their own fairy world, where they are the hero and you are the super hero for them, unfolds your own potential and capacity at times. All this and many more moments like these makes you a parent. But it all can be felt and lived if we apply patience as the key ingredient.

I would request all “parents and to be parents” to be patient with your child and see the magic. Pause before you react, breath before you act. It’ll not only teach your child to be patient but also will add value to your life and the moments it brings to you.

Happy Parenting!!

Keep Learning, Keep Growing

 

Aniruddha Pathak

Parenting & Career Coach    

 

 

Motherhood isn’t all Giggles & Cuddles!

Motherhood isn’t all Giggles & Cuddles!

 

There…. I said it!

 

Yes, you have a tiny one to cuddle and play silly with all day, but motherhood is beyond that. While you bask in the endless baby talks and the sweet baby scent, you realize gradually that you are solely responsible for the well-being of this little one too. And just when you ‘think’ you have it all figured and sorted out, the challenges change.

The worst part is that there is no rule book to follow, no sage advice to guide you, and no precedence to look up to for a solution.

Is motherhood easy? Well, just yesterday morning, I was crying a bucketful of tears and only wanted to go somewhere far away. Somewhere where there’d be no one to calling out ‘Mumma’ every fraction of a second!

So, yes, motherhood is challenging! A few ways I cope, rather try to!

P.S: I’m almost always near the brim just about to sink in and yet managing to stay afloat!

 

  • Breathe! Yes. B……..r……..e………a……..t………h……….e…………..

 

  • Celebrate little moments. Your baby burped quickly? Dance a bit. Self-fed without much mess? Do a little gig. Pooped in the potty seat? Now that calls for a big celebration!!! Rejoice. Celebrate. Smile. Laugh.

 

  • Make yourself a hot cup of chocolate milk or coffee on the night your baby sleeps on time! Don’t worry; we mommies need more caffeine than that to drive away our sleep.

 

  • Focus, prioritize and leave what’s not humanly possible. Period. Let people think. Let them judge. You are doing your best and you need not prove it all the time. The laundry can wait and so can the endless cupboards that need dusting.

 

  • Delegate work. Hire help wherever possible. Gives you a little more time from the same 24 hours.

 

  • Look for support. Seek help. Online or offline…doesn’t matter. Meet old friends and make new ones. Though I can’t brag to have an awesome social life, so to say, I do have an extremely strong network of mothers who are my soul sisters now. Not a day can pass without their love and support!

 

  • Nurture a hobby or that long forgotten passion. Not that you’ll find the time to do it seriously enough, but a few moments away (mentally) do work. For me, it’s writing and reading.

 

  • Put on the music. It helps. It distracts. It changes the mood. And doesn’t obstruct your work either.

 

  • Shut your eyes for a few moments every few hours. Even 30 seconds help.

 

  • Most importantly, love yourself. Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed, even if that just means putting on a pair of washed Pj’s and tee. Brush your hair. Put on some moisturizer or even some kohl or kajal. And give that beautiful woman in the mirror a good admiring look every day.

 

Be easy on yourself. Yes, you are a mommy. Not a superwoman. That’s another thing that your little one(s) see a cape and a halo around you!

 

Motherhood is beautiful and equally taxing and nerve-wrecking. Every morning, I brace myself  for yet another day. But then, I remind myself that the days may be long while the years are too short. And these little cuddly babies grow up just too soon.

 

Love them with all your being, but don’t lose yourself in the process 🙂

Neha Kapoor Anand

Parenting Coach

 

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

 

It’s often been said that motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. Indeed, there is no task more challenging than caring for the emotional, physical, and mental health of another human being. As a mom it is so easy to feel overwhelmed, overworked and stressed.

 

If you tell yourself negative things daily – guess what, you are setting yourself up for failure or repeat patterns of life. I believe in the power of affirmations so much because What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level has a significant impact on the outcome of events. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. Amazing right?

 

Pick any two of these affirmations daily and use them for at least 21 days!. Save them, say them whenever you can, or write them down every morning. Post them where you will see them. Come back here and comment below to let me know what miracles you see changing

 

  1.  I respect my children; I respect myself.
  2.  I am a blessing to my children. I am a powerhouse
  3.  I am doing an amazing job. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
  4.  I am my child’s lifelong teacher.
  5.  I can trust my maternal intuition.
  6.  I am learning to be a better mother with each new day.
  7.  I will take care of myself in order to be a good mother.
  8.  I am doing the best that I can for my children and it is enough.
  9.  I am becoming a more confident mother with each new day. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
  10.  My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day
  11.  I am creating positive, lifelong memories with my children.
  12.  I know better than anyone else what my children need.
  13.  I am allowed to ask for help as a mother. I deserve time to relax.
  14.  Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
  15.  The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

 

Which of these mama-mantras stands out to you today?

 

 

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach