Tag: Self Care

Dr. Sunita Advani published in Blogs

Empowering Your Children to Excel in Today’s Competitive World: Insights from Kota’s Tragedies

Introduction

The recent tragic suicides among students in Kota, India, have once again highlighted the enormous pressures and intense competition young people face today. To provide context, this year alone, 23 students have taken their lives, with four months still to go, compared to 15 last year. As parents, guardians, and educators, it is our collective responsibility to empower our children to face this competition while safeguarding their mental and emotional well-being. In this blog, we will discuss ways to empower your children to navigate the challenges of today’s competitive world, drawing inspiration from the unfortunate events in Kota.

1. Open Communication

Empowering your children begins with establishing open lines of communication. Encourage them to freely share their thoughts, fears, and aspirations with you. Ask open-ended questions and practice active listening. Validate their feelings and share your own experiences. Avoid judgment and engage in problem-solving together. Open communication should not be a one-time effort but an ongoing process. Make it clear that your child can talk to you about anything, anytime, and that your love and support are unwavering. Create an environment where they feel safe discussing their struggles and anxieties. This way, you let your child know they are not alone in their struggles, and you can offer support and guidance when they need it most.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Acknowledge that every child has unique abilities and limitations. Their potential may not align with societal expectations. Just as not every tree grows at the same rate, not every child will excel in the same way or at the same pace. Understand your child’s strengths and areas that may need improvement, and support them accordingly without imposing unrealistic goals. Focus on helping them discover their strengths and interests. Avoid comparing your child to others, whether it’s their siblings, friends, or classmates, as this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unnecessary stress. Encourage self-reflection, help them establish incremental goals, emphasize that mistakes are learning opportunities, encourage effort and improvement, and don’t wait for perfection.

3. Encourage a Growth Mindset

Teach your children the value of effort and resilience. A growth mindset fosters the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and dedication. This mindset can help them approach challenges with a positive attitude and a willingness to learn from failures. Illustrate the difference: a fixed mindset believes abilities are innate and unchangeable, whereas a growth mindset thrives on the idea that talents can be developed. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” encourage your child to say, “I can’t do this yet.” This maintains a positive learning environment.

4. Promote a Balanced Approach to Education

While academic excellence is important, it should not come at the cost of mental and physical health. Encourage a balanced approach to education by promoting hobbies, physical activity, relaxation, and spending time with family and friends. Teach your child the importance of a healthy work-life balance. A balanced approach ensures that your child excels academically while developing as a well-rounded individual. It prepares them to face life’s challenges with resilience, adaptability, and a healthy perspective. By nurturing their passions, promoting physical and mental health, and fostering a love for learning, you set the stage for your child to thrive both inside and outside the classroom.

5. Seek Professional Help

Be vigilant in recognizing signs of distress in your child, such as extreme anxiety, persistent sadness, changes in sleep or eating patterns, social withdrawal, or declining academic performance. These may indicate the need for professional intervention. Explain to your child that seeking assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. Dispelling misconceptions about therapy or counseling can make them more open to the idea. Mental health is as crucial as physical health, and early intervention can prevent more severe issues from developing. If required, involve your family and close friends in the process. Valuable help is welcome from anywhere.

6. Foster Independence

Empower your children to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. This helps build confidence, adaptability, and resilience. Encourage them to set their goals and take steps toward achieving them, with your guidance and support. Fostering independence in your child is a continuous process that requires patience and guidance. By empowering them to take charge of their lives, you equip them with the skills and mindset necessary to thrive academically and navigate the challenges they’ll encounter as they grow into adulthood.

7. Teach Time Management

Time management is a crucial skill for success. Help your children develop effective time management skills to balance their studies, extracurricular activities, and leisure time. Assist them in creating a daily or weekly schedule, prioritizing tasks, setting SMART goals, breaking tasks into small steps, eliminating distractions, and regularly reviewing and adjusting their schedule. This will reduce stress and improve their overall well-being. Teaching time management is a gradual process, and consistency is key. By helping your child master this essential skill, you empower them to succeed academically and in all aspects of their life.

8. Promote Healthy Competition

Competition can be healthy when it encourages personal growth and improvement. Teach your children to compete with themselves, aiming to surpass their previous achievements rather than constantly comparing themselves to others. Competing with friends, siblings, or relatives is not only detrimental to love but also one of the least effective approaches to achieving one’s goals.

9. Build a Supportive Network

Encourage your children to build a supportive network of friends and mentors who can provide guidance and emotional support. Having a strong support system can help them cope with the pressures of competition.

10. Lead by Example

Finally, lead by example. Show your children that success is not just about academic achievements but also about being a kind, compassionate, and resilient individual. Share your own struggles and how you overcame them. Acting as a role model is the most potent strategy. All the tips mentioned earlier will be effective only when your actions exemplify them in front of your children. This way, these values become ingrained in their behavior naturally, without the need for explicit preaching. It’s often said that children emulate what they witness, not just what they are taught.

 

The tragic incidents in Kota serve as a stark reminder of the immense pressure faced by today’s youth. As parents and guardians, it is our duty to empower our children with the tools they need to thrive in this competitive world while prioritizing their mental and emotional well-being. By fostering open communication, setting realistic expectations, and promoting a growth mindset, we can equip our kids to face today’s challenges with confidence and resilience. Together, we can ensure that they not only survive but also thrive in the face of competition.

Dr Sunita Advani, Pune

dradvani.sunita@gmail.com

9822088710

 

 

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Sandhya Lal published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

How to get your Happiness Dose?

A question that is always asked to me “How can I be happy?” Happiness is an art which can be learnt. If you are a parent it is a boon in your life. Positive and Happy Parenting does take too much of your time and when practiced just like any other artform leads to a better state of mind and happier families. If you pay attention to what you do on the canvas it will be beautiful piece.  It is all about the choices you make in life. Just like an art piece we use colour, we have a medium, paints, and a canvas all come together to make a masterpiece. But if any one of the elements is not there you will not get the  outcome you want. So! For positive parenting you need to be happy first yourself. Today I am going to give you a a happy pill  “The Happiness DOSE for no added cost “. You heard me right it is free.

There are four hormones created in our body when we do certain activities. When you incorporate them in your life on a regular basis you are ensured true happiness.

THE DOSE IS

  1. D – DOPAMINE    – The reward Hormone
  2. O – OXYTOCINE   – The Love Hormone
  3. S  – SEROTONINE  – The Mood Stabilizer
  4. E  – ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

Let me explain these are not medicines you need from the store even though these may be prescribed as pills by docs in small doses. Why not get it by doing these activities?

1. D- Dopamine – The Reward Hormone

        This hormone is created in our body when you do something rewarding. Something we can do to increase DOPAMINE in our body is complete a pending task, trying to cook something new, taking up a hobby like singing, painting. When  you complete these tasks we feel happy. We also need  self-love like a grooming,  manicure, hair cut, trip to the saloon or buying something for yourself or your child. One must learn to celebrate the little things and small achievements in life. Try something new an activity that takes you out of your comfort zone and when you achieve success you will be rewarding your body with Dopamine. Do you know that even shopping for yourself helps release Dopamine. So! do groom and take care of yourself because self care is important too.

2. O- OXYTOCIN – The Love Hormone

The love hormone like the word suggests come when we do something that shows love. When we get a hug or hold hands, we are happy. A gentle touch a kiss on the cheek or forehead makes us happy. Playing with a baby or a pet will make us happy. Even receiving and giving a compliment, appreciation, and gratitude releases Oxytocin. As an adult even sex is important. So! Next time don’t be stingy in showering your loved one with hugs and kisses or a praise cause appreciation releases Oxytocin.

3. S- SEROTONIN – The Mood Stabilizer

What did you feel the last time you went for a holiday jumped in a swimming pool, walked in the nature or walked in nature , or took a trek ? Did you feel happy? Did you feel relaxed? When you attend a meditation session does your mind feel at peace? Well! The mood stabilizer SEROTONINE is at work during this time. You can do this even if you are not on a holiday. You may ask me how? Well! You can walk in the Garden next to your house early in the morning or take a run or jog on the road. Your body is

releasing this happy hormone. That’s why you see people who are into yoga, walking, running, cycling, and swimming are in a happy state when they are doing this activity. Doing this on a regular basis will make you a happier person. Your body releases Oxytocin.

4. E- ENDORPHINE – The Pain Killer

How do you feel when you ate dark-mint chocolate? How do feel when you enter a room that smelled beautiful and refreshing? When you exercise and sweat how does your body and mind feel? When you are not well i

n pain and friend comes along and makes you laugh. Do you feel the

 pain was less? If you have said yes! you feel happy, better, or less pain it is true because here 

at this time Endorphin is being pumped into your body in full swing. Too much chocolate will make you put on weight so then you need to work that extra calorie. When you enter a spa, and it smells good. What’s happening? Again, endorphins are released. These are all pain-relieving activities. So dark chocolate, essence and laughter is a natural pain killer. There is a saying “Laughter is the best medicine”. The next time you are low have a laugh.

You need to BOSS YOUR MIND and BODY to become happy and make sure you get your happiness dose everyday no matter what.

Now! That you know all the things you can do to stay in a happier state on mind you can apply this also with your children. Go down and play with them in the park, take a walk, play new games, laugh, dance exercise together.  Give a task to your child and reward them accordingly too.

Follow the HAPPINESS DOSE mantra to be a in a Happier state of mind. Remember theses activities are not just YOU BUT FOR YOUR FAMILY TOO

– Sandhya Lal

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Neetu J. Talwar published in Articles, Blogs

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress !!!

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

  1. Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
  2. Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
  3. Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace. 
  4. Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels. 
  5. Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
  6. Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them.  Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day.  Encourage them to take plenty of water.
  7. Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that  exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
  8. Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
  9. Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
  10. Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

 

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

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