My younger son was born with a condition where his pigmentation and melanin production were quite slow. This gave him an appearance unlike that of a typical Indian child—he had blue eyes, golden hair, and an extremely fair, almost pinkish-white complexion. When he was a baby, it didn’t matter much what people said because he couldn’t understand. However, as he grew older, these comments started to affect him emotionally.
My elder son, who doesn’t share these features, also struggled. He often felt overshadowed and would sometimes cry for attention. This made me think deeply about how to help both my children embrace themselves for who they are.
I eventually found a simple yet effective way to explain it. I told my younger son that our bodies have a special “juice” that determines the color of our hair, eyes, and skin. Instead of using complex terms like melanin and pigmentation, this relatable analogy helped him understand his uniqueness.
Armed with this explanation, my son began confidently responding to comments about his looks, saying, “I like the way I am because of the juice in my body.” While people might not understand the concept of the juice, it gave him a sense of pride and clarity about his identity.
This journey taught me an important lesson: as parents, we need to instil self-love and acceptance in our children from an early age. When we embrace and celebrate them as they are, it empowers them to do the same. Loving and accepting oneself is far more important than seeking validation from others.
Parents must also be mindful of the words used around children, especially by guests or relatives who might casually make hurtful remarks. A polite but firm reminder to be considerate can go a long way.
My younger son, Kush, also has a lisp and sometimes pronounces “K” as “T,” so his name sounds like “Tush.” While some people find this cute, repeated teasing can be overwhelming for a child. To help him, I taught him to confidently spell out his name (K-U-S-H) when people mispronounce it or tease him. This small step gave him a sense of control and self-assurance.
Now, Kush handles such situations with grace. If someone goes too far, he calmly but firmly sets boundaries, making it clear that such behavior isn’t acceptable. Other times, he simply walks away, choosing to respond instead of reacting.
This approach has been a life lesson for my boys—they’ve learned that while people may say whatever they want, it’s up to us to decide how much we let it affect us.