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NEVER DO THIS DURING EXAMS

NEVER DO THIS DURING EXAMS
Exams are times when everyone is scared.
Exams are times when all parents are stressed.
Exams are times when we want results and nothing else matters.
But what you say and do makes a big difference. So! Here are things you should never do during exams.
Never do this during exams
1. Never Demoralise
EFFECT: It will build their confidence and take their fear away
As parents, we unconsciously put our children down especially in front of others. Oh! He/she is useless and lazy and does not want to work at all. Demoralizing children before their exams puts doubts in their minds about their capabilities. They will not have faith in themselves. Instead say they he is really working hard, and I have faith in my child. Compliment when they are listening but watching.
2. Never talk about past failures
EFFECT- Will have faith in changing their future.
a. Most children work hard during exams because they that these exams are important. They buck up and work harder on their grades. Instead, tell them that you have faith in what they are going to do and achieve in this exam. You need to boost their ego and appreciate their efforts. Talk about things they have done well in the past.
3. Never discuss how was the exam paper.
EFFECT- Eases the mind and puts less pressure on the next exams.
a. What’s done cannot be undone what is written cannot be changed. This could pull down the child and make him get more worried about how the next paper will go. Reduce fear and inculcate happiness.
To know how to be happy you can check my article on the Happiness Dose.
4. Never Demotivate
EFFECT: It will make them believe in themselves that they can change things if they put their mind to it
a. Motivation can even make a lame man walk but if you keep telling your child he/she is useless, fit for nothing, dumb, stupid, looser, irresponsible, or a failure because you are putting thoughts of failure in your child. You are manifesting your thoughts. You are pushing your child to not achieve. Reverse psychology does not work and may backfire. It leads to self-doubt. Motivation is the only way forward for success.
5. Never be away.
EFFECT: They know you will be there with them and they can always count on you for anything
a. At least one parent should be there with the child during exams to make sure everything is going well. In case of an emergency, you are there for the child. Be there so they know that if they need any help, you are easily available and that they mean the world to you during this time. Your work, your social life, and your work should take a break. Being there for them will help build a trusting relationship. Teens like to show they are independent but deep down they need you no matter what, so be there for them. Do not make it look like a forced sacrifice or make them feel guilty that you are there for them. It will not serve the purpose. Be genuinely for them.
It is the simple things we do for our children that make them know that we love them. Be there for them because they need you always. Love them unconditionally. Let them know they are important and special. Treat them with love and affection because exams are difficult times for them, so you must go easy on them.
#bossyourmind #sandhyalalwellnesscoach #sandhyalal #sandhyalalchallapalli #sandhyalalparentalcoach #Parenteen #examtime #betterparenting #deepparenting
Manish Sharmaa DEEP Parenting Sandhya Lal Parental Coach Maadhyam
To know more and want to attend workshops on DEEP Parenting
email us at parentalcoach.sandhyalal@gmail.com

Lets support our kid’s to know their resources!

Know your resources.

My whole life I was busy checking everything I didn’t have! everything that was missing from my life to be successful! everything God did not give me! How everyone was being unfair to me! How everyone else should be so that I could achieve everything in my life what I deserve!

Trust me nothing worked! nobody changed! the world remains the same, people in my life are being themselves, then what is going wrong?

The moment I shifted my belief from what I don’t have, to what I do have. I started acknowledging my resources, I started focusing on taking steps and getting things done for me with courage and responsibility.

Start counting your resources to maximize them and double the skills, our resources are always present with us, it takes a positive mind to acknowledge them and use them for our situations.

But the big question arises, how can I make my children see their resources, make them feel strong in what they have?

I traveled all the way back to my childhood to check what was stopping me from acknowledging what I was blessed with! the answer I got was not surprising! it was a rapidly changing world that demands all of us to keep running at full speed to catch up with what is trendy, that made all of us run after everything that we don’t have. I saw people setting their dreams or goals in life according to the latest trends. We can never be aware of our real needs and form a goal if we don’t see what resources we have, we can never plan our next conscious step towards betterment.

  • Pause and say thank you:

I decided to pause and ask my children to pause with me to say thank you to everything around us, thank you for lifting my garbage, thank you for dropping me to school, thank you for staying awake the whole night and giving us a safe night sleep, thank you for coming to school for teaching us, thank you God for everything.

  • Avoid comparison:

I focus on my children’s capacity they are so different from each other and need different sets of support to reach to their full potential. Comparison can break their real capacity and might throw them into anxiety and depression. Life is full of opportunity only if we don’t waste it by chasing what others have.

  • Introduce limits and boundaries:

My constant providing will make my children dependent whether it is my love, kindness, or any materialistic things, by introducing limits and boundaries in my family I can put conscious stimulus for all the members to respect each other’s individuality and know the limits for community living with peace and harmony.

  • Invite co-operation:

I always thought that no one could do the work as I could and I never invited any co-operation, my personality played a big role in it, ended up losing my resources and left them unused. I shifted my belief and started acknowledging my resources and using them in full to be the best resource for my loved ones. Now I am teaching my children to observe everything from a positive frame of mind, to find an opportunity in every situation.

  • Practice forgiveness:

Level of my empathy increases with number of mistakes I do; my mistakes always remind me of being human and allowing other human beings to be wrong in their own way.  I teach my children to forgive others to move forward and keep taking steps. When we forgive others and be empathetic it helps us in staying committed towards our goal.

 

“Let’s Support our children in acknowledging  their resources to feel strong and use it for their betterment”.

EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY


EFFECTIVE TIPS TO RAISE KIDS IN A JOINT FAMILY

Raising kids in a joint family can be a great way to provide them with a strong support system and a sense of community. However, it can also be challenging, as there are often more people involved in decision-making and discipline. Here are some tips for raising kids in a joint family:

  • Communicate with your extended family. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations. This will help to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your child is getting the consistent messages they need.
  • Set clear boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries with your extended family, especially when it comes to discipline. Let them know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
  • Be respectful of your extended family’s opinions. Even if you don’t agree with everything they say, it’s important to be respectful of their opinions. This will help to create a more positive and harmonious environment for your child.
  • Be grateful for the support. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work, but it’s also a lot of support. Be grateful for the help that your extended family provides and let them know how much you appreciate it.

Here are some additional tips:

  • Involve your extended family in your child’s life. This could include taking them on outings, spending time with them at home, or asking them to help with childcare.
  • Encourage your child to spend time with their grandparents and other extended family members. This will help them to build strong relationships with their elders and learn about their family history.
  • Talk to your child about the importance of respecting their elders. This will help them to understand the value of family and tradition.
  • Be patient and understanding. Raising kids in a joint family can be challenging, but it’s also a rewarding experience. Be patient with your child and your extended family, and remember that everyone is doing their best.

Here are some specific challenges that you may face when raising kids in a joint family:

  • Differing parenting styles. It’s common for extended family members to have different parenting styles than you do. This can be a challenge, as you may not agree with how they are raising your child. It’s important to communicate with your extended family about your parenting goals and expectations, and to set clear boundaries.
  • Lack of privacy. Living in a joint family can mean that you have less privacy than you would if you lived in a nuclear family. This can be a challenge, especially when it comes to raising teenagers. It’s important to find ways to give your child some privacy, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.
  • Feeling overwhelmed. Raising kids in a joint family can be a lot of work. It’s important to ask for help from your extended family when you need it. Don’t be afraid to say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • Despite the challenges, raising kids in a joint family can be a rewarding experience. By following these tips, you can create a positive and supportive environment for your child.

AUTHOR

     FAIZA PARVEZ

     Parenting coach 

What is true? Finding yourself or Creating Yourself

According to me Life is a journey. In this journey, everything we go through is a process. Finding yourself and creating yourself is a process. Both are interlinked and connected.

Finding yourself means knowing about yourself or in other words self-discovery. Understand who you are. Because when you are in mother’s womb, you get the genes from your parents. You adapt some of their qualities, looks, nature, etc. That’s why you resemble your family members in looks and behaviour. So, it’s not completely in your control.

Finding yourself helps us to understand better about your nature and character, who you are. But when you look at yourselves, you always want to be someone else. We have been said that finding yourself is very important. When you think about your life, you understand what you want to be. In the process of doing so, you realise that it is actually not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.

Creating yourself means working on self to become the person whom you want to be. Finding yourself means you already exist. You are already someone and you just need to search. Once found the journey comes to end.

Creating yourself is not at all easy. It’s a continuous process. You need to come out of the comfort zone and push yourself hard. There is no end to this process. Even when you become the person you want to be, you still need to practice every day. Otherwise, you come back to your comfort zone and becomes difficult to come out of it.

It is not an easy task. There are lot of things involved. Like where do you start from and where you want to reach. In simple words, it needs a lot of planning, set our goals. For e.g. when we want to go on a vacation, first we decide our destination and then how to reach and when to reach. What mode of transport we need to take and even after so much of planning and preparation sometimes we face lot of challenges during the journey.

Creating yourself is exactly the same. You decide the destination what you want to become. Then you need to plan from where you want to start and how. Remember the journey might not be easy. There will be lot of challenges. Both external and internal. First, you need to set the mindset and you need to overcome all the hurdles on your mind. This will give you strength to overcome the external challenges too.

When we reach our destination, our whole life transforms. When I say transform means there is a shift from within. Just like when you sow a seed, the process starts from within. It doesn’t become a plant or a tree next day. It is a time taking process. You keep watering it every day.  It might not be visible outside. Does that mean that you stop watering it every day? No because you don’t know exactly how much time it will take. Suddenly one day you find small leaves comes out. And for a plant to become a tree, takes years and years of time.

 

 

Similarly, transformation is a process. It happens within yourself. And slowly the impact is reflected outside. It is an inch-by-inch process within. It might take time to reflect outside. This doesn’t mean that you stop working on yourself. You need to be continuously in this process of creating yourself. You need to be patient with yourself, give yourself enough time to grow within and become the person whom you always wanted to be. And once we become that person, journey never stops there. You need to keep on yourself working every day and every time. This is the most creative thing in your life – “Creating Yourself”.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Benard Shaw.

 

 

 

Do you want to be a millionaire parent?

The Millionaire YOU

Millionaire #mindset for kids.

All of us are born with this gift. Just go back in your early magical years, almost all in 0-5 years, we lived in abundance and not in lack.

In full confidence and not in doubt. Crawl, walk, brush, play and everything.

Let us celebrate life with the child like spirit. Your brain knows the secret. Let us relive to grow, to love, to connect, to feel more amazing and awesome.

Happy nurturing self and your child.

3H formula always works.

Head

Heart and

Hands.

Head is to explain logic, facts, figures, IQ is developed and report card is amazing.

Heart is to nurture values. Child learns values are much more important than valuables. EQ is more important than IQ. IQ makes one an executive, EQ makes one a manager and a leader.

Hands are for life skills, home skills, hand on skills going beyond knowledge and IQ.

Get set go with 3H. IQ and EQ. See you in the next blog on AQ, CQ and SQ. Be a smillanaire by being a Smiling Parent.

 

Guideline Before Looking for an Elementary School for Your Child

Guideline before looking for an elementary school for your child:-

 

That moment you heard of news that you are going to be a parent you feel blessed and happy but with a child, comes a lots of thing and one from that is responsibility. “The child future” and you start making plans for your child you look for a good insurance, you thought of child higher education, you thought of what child would become in future, and you also thought of which school he or she will go.

But before that when the child turn into 1.5 month or a 2 year a parent should start thinking of their elementary school. Elementary school plays a vital role for the child growth and development. It really important to know what you want for your child and I am here to share few points with you which you need to keep in your mind before searching for elementary school for your child.

  1. The Management: – It is really important to know who is running the school. The owner of the school itself running the school or the third party is involved in it. If the owner itself handling the school, nothing great than this. Background, education and the experience in the field of education of a director need to b keep in mind.
  2. Reputation of the school. Feedback creates the reputation of the school. So check or collect the feedback of the school from the Ex-parents and from the Social media like Google, School Facebook page. It will help you to take wise decision for your child.
  3. Meet the teachers in the school and let your child to interact with a teacher. The interaction between the teacher and a child the way she greet and treat your child will help you to access the school environment and the teaching staff.
  4. Play Area. Play area with swings, jungle gym etc. is must for your child and it should be an essential part of a school which you are looking for. Play area help your child to grow physically. It develop flexibility, speed, balance and leadership quality in a child.
  5. Ambience. The school and the classes should be colourful. It is a basic introduction of studies for a child. Bright colours attract the child attention and bring positivity in your child. Colours leave an impression in your child mind and make them more creative and imaginative. The classes should be airy and filled with sunlight.
  6. Children to teacher ratio. It is a significant aspect for your child to be perceptible in a class. Children teacher ratio shouldn’t be more than 15:1. Teacher attention at this age is much needed. This ratio is necessary for the overall development of your child to take care off.
  7. Safety and security. Again sending your child first time away from yourself whether it is for a moment or for hours it took your soul and for this safety and security is really a matter of concern. The investment made by school in safety and care of the children by CCTV, security and housekeeping staff make your decision easier.

Brands doesn’t matter, do not send your little bud into this competitive world at an early age. It is a time for your child to develop themselves physically, emotionally and socially, so set them free.

These are the points will help you to take right decision at a right time.

 

Vaishali Thapa

Parenting Coach