Neetu J. Talwar published in Articles, Blogs February 20, 2021

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace.
Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels.
Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them. Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day. Encourage them to take plenty of water.
Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

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Divya Vats published in Blogs February 19, 2021

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Journey Brought By Sanctity of Life

The thing is about the time when I got pregnant for the first time, like all women, I was also waiting for an anxious time. Meanwhile, I met my doctor in connection with the regular checkup. I do not know how she understood my heart as soon as she met me. She very kindly explained to me that when a delivery takes place, a mother is born along with the birth of a child.

She suggested me that I should be mentally and emotionally brave with the physical and emotion changes I was going to face while going through the physical recovery.

Little did I hear her. Because by this time, my mind had been occupied with overwhelming thoughts and emotions. I was worried thinking in a moment of time how a careless girl (which I more or less was) could be a good mother. Many questions were causing uproar in the mind, like,

“What kind of mom will I be?”, which had been something brushing around my brain all the while I carried a life in my womb, where I was about to introduce someone to the world, I knew I had to be the perfect introducer here. I was going to do what nature has chosen every woman to do; to create and nurture a new life. Which surely is a bliss.

But its very well said that God does not give you strength to get rid of all kinds of problems. God sure shows the way but doesn’t work in your favor as long as you do yourself a favor. In the moment of desperation, it feels like God has left you on your own at this point.

And something like that, happened to me as well.

Series of events went so drastic that shook me to my core. Outside the operation theater, nurses were looking for my husband for documental formalities, but, I did not have my husband at that time as he was traveling to visit me. Since its very well known that presence of the baby’s father calms the mother to be down, seeing the man she loved could lower some adrenaline.

There were no men with me at that time.

My brother who was and still is very supportive of me was at a distance of 1000 km from me and was getting restless talking on the phone.

My mother was helpless because she had to take care of me along with maintaining financial formalities of the hospital in a quite urgent manner. So she went to the ATM to withdraw money. I had my aunt with my mother, who was upset herself but was encouraging my mother, in every manner she could.

And I, lying in bed, trying to accept the coming time as a challenge.

I do not know, I got so much courage from inside me that I told the nurse that the document has to be signed by me. The nurse asked me many times that you will sign? And I said, “yes I will”.

Meanwhile, I talked to my brother and explained to him that he should not be disturbed, I was with the Doctor Controlling the situation. I assured him to not to worry.

And I said the same thing to my husband.

And then, I went to the operation theater. When I came back to my senses, when anesthesia had done its part, I heard that my aunt is talking to someone and saying that she showed great courage, something we had not expected from our childish child.

Now the real meaning of writing so much is that you can come out of any kind of challenge by staying positive.

This episode had prepared me for the years to come and now that I have become a mother, every day there is talk of giving a good upbringing to my children, I keep on learning for it every day, every day there are new challenges. And I learn something from all of them. To be a better mother to my children. I am preparing my children for every situation in every sphere of life.

It is going to be very long, but I must say it will definitely because I am getting parenting techniques day by day that will make my journey a lot better. I may perform my duties as a parent the best I can.

Divya Vats

Parenting Coach/Mind Trainer / Career Strategist

Visit my website www.aacons.in

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Dr. Pradnya Pankaj Gurav published in Blogs February 19, 2021

PARENTING BEYOND EXPECTATION

‘PARENTING MANTRAS FROM JIJAMATA-MOTHER OF SHIVAJI MAHARAJ AND MOTHER OF SWARAJYA’

What is parenting? How does ‘nurture’ influence development of Child?

A greatest example of it is how ‘Jijamata’ brought up ‘Shivaji’ as the great warrior, inspiration for everyone even in today’s era. She herself was warrior, administrator and later mentor for her child.

It is said that- Why we don’t have ‘Shivaji’ again because still there is no ‘Jijau’ who can brought up the son like ‘Shivaji’. ‘Chatrapati Shivaji’ could not have been the same without her mother. Shivaji owes his greatness to the inspiration of his mother, who dedicated her life to upbringing him become greatest ruler.

What I understood is- Jijau must have been the only woman in the history who decided the purpose of her child’s life even before it was born.

While she was pregnant, every comfort be conferred upon her but she wished none of it. Rather she preferred to climb to the top of fort, wield swords, discuss political issues, put on amour and ride on horse …..It taught us that ‘GARBHA SANSKAR’ means not merely reading books but it is a process to imbibe all the positive psychological forces in fetus (‘Garbha’).

In Maharashtra, most of the women during pregnancy read about ‘Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaja’ because she wants her child to be like ‘Shivaji’ but she cannot decide what qualities of ‘Shivaji’ they want to be embedded in her child. Is it power / Strength?

No. there were many ruler that were more powerful than ‘Shivaji’, then what qualities that made Shivaji, the ‘Chatrapati Shivaji’ – blood pride for every Indian.

Below are the qualities that she imbibed in Bal-Shivaji…-

Jijau instilled within Shivaji sense of Duty, Courage and Fortitude (It is strength of mind that enables person to encounter danger or bear pain).
She embedded importance of Values and Dharma by telling him stories.
Pride and Respect– Shivaji fought for the pride of ‘Swarajya’. In his life, Shivaji maharaj never crossed the line between pride and ego. He was always down to earth, treating all peoples equally and respectfully. It’s all by seeing his mother doing so.
Foresight- Jijau taught him the strategies and to thought ahead of the time. Always to think about future impact of any decision and have solution ready in advance for the same.
She taught him ‘Art of Politics’ and prepared him to be an honest ruler.

Thanks to all the training from ‘Jijau’ that helped him to handle trickiest situation with ease.

Last but not least, she had major role in nurturing/ parenting his grandson ‘Sambhaji Maharaja’, the great warrior, Sanskrit Pandit and also author of several books.

The efforts of parenting taken by JIJAMATA helped to fulfill dream of ‘Swarajya’.

“Nurture a child, for betterment of Society and Nation” ….the parenting lesson we can learn from her.

“Raje..I am willing to see you being sacrificed on battle field but I cannot afford to have a blemish that I gave birth to a son who had scarred and ready to take his own life out of fear.” -Maharani Jijamata [Sourse- Shriman Yogi]

Author:

Dr. Pradnya Gurav [Consulting Homeopath and Parenting coach ..DEEP]

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Aniruddha Vinay Pathak published in Blogs February 19, 2021

Parenting – An Art and Science of Patience

It was not easy for us to get into the role of a parent when we first thought of it. It took us huge amount of time and energy and effort to accept the very fact of being a parent. The lives were going to change, priorities were going to change, the scheduling of every small event and activity was going to change. In short, we were going to change. Coming to this thought of being a parent tested us and our patience for the first time. And we realized what we were asking from our life. 😉

Although the decision was made by us but destiny had something else in store for us. We tried what not; ayurveda, homeopathy, allopathy but we were not getting the results. Slowly at our subconscious level we had started accepting it as a fact that probably we won’t be that lucky, ever. It was a very tough time for us, I still remember sitting with my wife and discussing about the possibility of adopting a child also. Days, months and years passed, lives got back to where it was. Work, functions and get together, a hectic schedule were a part of our life. We had still almost made it final that we are going to get a child adopted then on the same day we got to know that we are the blessed one. We were going to have our baby. We were very excited, doctor’s appointment was fixed and we went in. Doctor took my wife for check-up and I was waiting outside with an ocean of thoughts in my mind and a broad smile on my face. After sometime I was called inside and we were asked multiple questions as work and life style, daily schedule and most importantly schedule of the previous months. Now the excitement was getting replaced by concern and it was probably visible on our faces. After taking all the necessary information we were told that the baby did not survive. It was 5^th year since we were married and we were seriously planning for it for a very long time. But it did not happen. Wait was still on. We were being tested for our patience. And trust me, the test was not easy. My wife had to suffer from huge trauma after that, those sleepless nights and continuous weeping was making it even worse for her and for me too. Fortunately our parents understood and were supportive so it took less time for us to come out of it. Life moved on, so did we. Life came back to normal and again we had this thought of being a parent. Whole cycle got repeated but this time we were more cautious and careful for everything hence we took extra care at every step. It was 10^th year of our marriage and we were blessed with a handsome young prince, who is now of 4years.

But, why I m sharing this with you? What made me think that this story needs to be shared? I m not sharing it because of its uniqueness. As it is not unique, although it is very special and close to me. But I’m sharing it because these 10years exposed me to various experiences and learning and encounters with people which helped me put a foundation of taking up parenting as a topic to study and understand it in detail. I have seen many fathers and to be fathers so much disconnected with the process of being a parent that they miss on the joy of it. I’m not a medical expert but I know that the ‘to be mother’ goes through lot of mood swings and she is not able to reconcile her actions or thoughts or even reactions. This is the time when the ‘to be father’ needs to be with her, strong and mature to handle her. It is not only the responsibility of the mother to take care of the child but also of the father, equally, even before the child is born. We as parents or to be parents need to be extremely patient to handle this stressful situation and days of such stress. It’s not easy; it never was and never ever will be. But we have to accept it then only we can be a responsible father.

Once the child is born, responsibility and sharing increases. Many parents don’t realize the fact that the child is not saying anything in initial 2 years but is listening and observing everything that you do. And whatever we do around the child is shaping him for years to come. Hence patience is required a lot more than expected. Now a days it very concerning to see that people are expecting the child of 2 years or 3 years to behave with the maturity of 10 years. It is not possible and it’ll never be possible. Kids are going to be kids and we need to understand that. The sooner we realize this and act on it the easier it’ll be for all in the family. Handling tantrums and making them disciplined in itself is a challenging task and again patience is tested. We have to be extremely patient with the child. Imagine a small life is standing in front of you with huge questions in their mind. They are trying to decode the things and trying to put relations and combinations. And at the same time they want you to help them out. So instead of helping them if we shout at them or get irritated because of their questions, then are we not missing on the greatest pleasure of seeing a life bloom in front of our eyes? Understand their struggle; they are new to everything, even to you. And they are making their thoughts and beliefs observing you. Their condition is so fragile that they are not even having proper words to describe what they are feeling. And if we react to them with our head held high, the connect would never develop. And this is the reason many parents are missing the growing process of their kids and suddenly they realise that kids are all grown up and don’t have any emotional connection with them.

My overall experience with my kid and all the parents that I interact with, or observe or come across with, the major factor which can solve all these issues for all and which can realign these beautiful moments to be lived, is patience. We are today so much into our own work and life that we unknowingly ignore the most precious part of our life, our child. This is a bundle of joy which gives us an opportunity to look at our own self as a child through our own eyes. The small arms, when they wrap around your neck you feel blessed to be loved so much unconditionally. When the small twinkling eyes look at you with pride and affection and deep love, you feel being born again. When the small little hands hold your finger to take the first step of their life, it makes you feel your own journey of first steps again. The first word which addresses you makes you touch the sky. Their small talks, stories of their own fairy world, where they are the hero and you are the super hero for them, unfolds your own potential and capacity at times. All this and many more moments like these makes you a parent. But it all can be felt and lived if we apply patience as the key ingredient.

I would request all “parents and to be parents” to be patient with your child and see the magic. Pause before you react, breath before you act. It’ll not only teach your child to be patient but also will add value to your life and the moments it brings to you.

Happy Parenting!!

Keep Learning, Keep Growing

Aniruddha Pathak

Parenting & Career Coach

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Swati Mahajan published in Blogs February 18, 2021

HOW TO HELP WITH EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION IN CHILDREN

If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve witnessed a tantrum or two in your day. We expect them in two-year-old, but if your child reaches school age and meltdowns and outbursts are still frequent, it may be a sign that they have difficulty with emotional self-regulation. And many older children, even if they’re beyond tantrums, they continue to struggle with impulsive and inappropriate behavior.

What is Self-regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and behavior in accordance with the demands of the situation.

Problems with self-regulation manifest in different ways in different children. Some kids have a huge, strong reaction and there is no build-up. They can’t control that immediate behavior response. For other kids, distress seems to build up and they can only take it for so long. Eventually it leads to some sort of behavioral problems.

Why do some kids struggle with Self-regulation?

When parents give in to tantrums or work overtime to soothe their children when they get upset and act out, kids have a hard time developing self-regulation. In those situations, parents become their external self-regulators. If this pattern happens again & again, and a child is able to ‘outsource’ self-regulation, then that might develop as a habit.

How do we teach Self-regulation skills?

See acting out is essentially an ineffective response to a stimulus. We need to help the child slow down and more carefully choose an effective response instead of being impulsive. If we approach self-regulation skills in the same way we approach other skills and provide practice, rather than pointing bad behavior it changes the tone and content of the feedback we give it to our children. Rather than giving up, try paring down the activity so it is more doable, and slowly give your child more and more independence to handle it.

Pro-tip: Expecting perfection from ourselves may actually increase tension and negativity.
we should keep working on our own emotional muscles, accept ourself & our family for where we are in the process. It’s never too late to start!

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach

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Arti A published in Blogs February 18, 2021

Moving from Digital to Development

In today’s digital age, it is not very uncommon to find even toddlers using gadgets. Many parents try to please their children by giving them tablets and phones so that they are kept busy and entertained. But have you ever thought that a toddler needs more human interaction than with an AI?

A child’s early developing stage is until the age of 6. Hence, it is very essential that you do not let him or her be dependent on gadgets.

Do not forget that every child needs attention and gadgets are no substitution to it. Here are few things that you can do to help your child move from the digital to the development stage.

Get Real Games: 3D games are fun and attractive, but they also harm your child’s mental growth. So, instead of downloading a game on your tablet or phone, get your child a game appropriate for his or her age. Games which will help your child in learning and at the same time have fun with it.

Spend More Time with your Child: It is very important that you try to spend as much time as you can with your child. The more time spent with your child, the more disinterest your child will be with the gadgets.

Encourage Creativity: Every child at the toddler stage loves to draw (or should I say scribble). Encourage your child to be creative and let him or her draw or scribble. Appreciate your child for what he or she has created.

Get Them Involved: You may want to keep your child away from the household work, but the truth is by keeping your child involved during your household chores can help you interact with him or her better. It also makes it easy for them to learn quickly and easily.

Do not let gadgets hinder your child’s growth. Enjoy this stage with your child because time does not turn around.

Happy Parenting!!!

Arti A

Parenting Coach

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Neha Kapoor Anand published in Blogs February 16, 2021

Motherhood isn’t all Giggles & Cuddles!

There…. I said it!

Yes, you have a tiny one to cuddle and play silly with all day, but motherhood is beyond that. While you bask in the endless baby talks and the sweet baby scent, you realize gradually that you are solely responsible for the well-being of this little one too. And just when you ‘think’ you have it all figured and sorted out, the challenges change.

The worst part is that there is no rule book to follow, no sage advice to guide you, and no precedence to look up to for a solution.

Is motherhood easy? Well, just yesterday morning, I was crying a bucketful of tears and only wanted to go somewhere far away. Somewhere where there’d be no one to calling out ‘Mumma’ every fraction of a second!

So, yes, motherhood is challenging! A few ways I cope, rather try to!

P.S: I’m almost always near the brim just about to sink in and yet managing to stay afloat!

Breathe! Yes. B……..r……..e………a……..t………h……….e…………..

Celebrate little moments. Your baby burped quickly? Dance a bit. Self-fed without much mess? Do a little gig. Pooped in the potty seat? Now that calls for a big celebration!!! Rejoice. Celebrate. Smile. Laugh.

Make yourself a hot cup of chocolate milk or coffee on the night your baby sleeps on time! Don’t worry; we mommies need more caffeine than that to drive away our sleep.

Focus, prioritize and leave what’s not humanly possible. Period. Let people think. Let them judge. You are doing your best and you need not prove it all the time. The laundry can wait and so can the endless cupboards that need dusting.

Delegate work. Hire help wherever possible. Gives you a little more time from the same 24 hours.

Look for support. Seek help. Online or offline…doesn’t matter. Meet old friends and make new ones. Though I can’t brag to have an awesome social life, so to say, I do have an extremely strong network of mothers who are my soul sisters now. Not a day can pass without their love and support!

Nurture a hobby or that long forgotten passion. Not that you’ll find the time to do it seriously enough, but a few moments away (mentally) do work. For me, it’s writing and reading.

Put on the music. It helps. It distracts. It changes the mood. And doesn’t obstruct your work either.

Shut your eyes for a few moments every few hours. Even 30 seconds help.

Most importantly, love yourself. Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed, even if that just means putting on a pair of washed Pj’s and tee. Brush your hair. Put on some moisturizer or even some kohl or kajal. And give that beautiful woman in the mirror a good admiring look every day.

Be easy on yourself. Yes, you are a mommy. Not a superwoman. That’s another thing that your little one(s) see a cape and a halo around you!

Motherhood is beautiful and equally taxing and nerve-wrecking. Every morning, I brace myself for yet another day. But then, I remind myself that the days may be long while the years are too short. And these little cuddly babies grow up just too soon.

Love them with all your being, but don’t lose yourself in the process 🙂

Neha Kapoor Anand

Parenting Coach

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Girish Panicker published in Blogs February 14, 2021

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

The Vienna general hospital had two maternity wards, one handled by doctors and the other by midwives. In the mid-1800s, Dr. Ignaz Semmelweiz was heading the ward that was being handled by doctors. The surprising fact was that the mortality rate of mothers who were looked after by the doctors was 1 in 10 and the mortality rate of mothers looked after by midwives was 1 in 50. This was quite embarrassing for the doctors. They tried changing the bedsheets, cleaning the floors window curtains, but the mortality rate remained the same. They even laid down SOPs for both the wards so that there was uniformity in all respects. Even after all these measures, there was no change in the mortality rates.

The situation was so alarming that many women preferred to deliver on the streets than go to the ward looked after by the doctors for the fear of dying. Dr. Ignaz happened to visit another hospital and was away from Vienna general Hospital for few months and in these few months, the mortality rates of the women at the ward looked after by doctors also reduced to 1 in 50.

Dr. Ignaz after returning from his visit began to examine the reason for this and he found out that, since they were in a research institute most of the doctors split their time between research on cadavers and treatment of live patients. After doing research, dissecting a cadaver they went on to treat live patients. The very doctors who were supposed to treat the patients were unknowingly carrying the germs that caused the patients to die. They had no idea of germs at that time. Dr. Ignaz found out that he spent far more time on research on cadavers and then directly attended to the pregnancies.

It was Dr. Ignaz after his discovery that he formulated the germ theory. It was after this discovery that all doctors were advised to wash their hands with chlorine and lime. It was a simple solution, but it solved a grave problem. The mortality of women treated by doctors dropped drastically to 1 in 100 after they started washing their hands with chlorine and lime.

What can we learn from this incident?

Just like the doctors were unknowingly responsible for the deaths of their patients, many times parents are unknowingly responsible for crushing the child’s dreams and making him/her follow dictates that they feel is right

It needs unconditional love to view children as completely different human beings with curiosity to experiment and discover life on their own.

Parents need to master active listening to understand the unsaid words, the unspoken language and not force a child to just listen to what they say and expect the child to follow without complaining.

It is understandable that all parents do what they do with the intention of giving the best to their children. However, just like the doctors of the Vienna general hospital, they unknowingly do more harm than good.

The focus needs to move from the external world to the inner world, then the entire approach will undergo a dramatic change. The solution may be very simple like washing the hands of the doctors, but the impact can be profound.

Parents need to step back just like Dr. Ignaz who went on a visit to another hospital, which prompted him to search for significant differences in approaches in the doctor’s ward and the midwife’s ward.

The changes could be as simple as choosing a different set of words that we use or just listening to the child without judgement or maybe expressing how you feel or just allowing him/her to take responsibility.

Yes! Everything starts with awareness of the situation and taking the appropriate action.

Girish Paniker

Parent Alchemist

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Dr. Monika Mittal published in Blogs February 13, 2021

ROTI PARI SE HANSTI PARI (रोती परी से हंसती परी)

ROTI PARI SE HASTI PARI (रोती परी से हंसती परी)

It was a usual evening when my cousin called me up to discuss his daughter Khushi’s issue. She was then studying in Junior KG at one of the best CBSE schools near their house. Her grades had been falling (mostly in D and E range), and the school had just issued a warning about her insufficient attention and slow learning in the class despite everyone’s best efforts at the school. The next final tests were only three months away.

Being a doctor and a mother of two grown-up kids, I could relate to his problem and suggested that they meet a counsellor. After the discussion, they met a counsellor on the very next day, and the counsellor advised some tests to assess Khushi’s aptitude and brain mapping. The counsellor planned an appointment for the next week.

In the meantime, I sensed my cousin’s anxiety and continued talking to the family in detail about Khushi. During the conversation, it came to light that Khushi was sleeping every day around midnight, and it was difficult for her to get up at 6 AM for her school at 7 AM. She was not eating properly before going to school except for a small amount of milk which she drank forcefully. Additionally, she slept in the afternoon for 3-4 hours after her lunch, and in the evenings, she was occupied with tuitions and playing with her younger brother. Towards the end of the day, Khushi watched television till midnight with family after dinner at around 10 PM. As a result of this, she was tired and restless most of the time, fighting with her brother, crying easily and not eating correctly.

I suggested that my cousin make Khushi sleep a little earlier by 10 PM with early dinner at 8–8.30 PM. I based my suggestion on the experience of having seen children face problems related to lack of sleep or altered sleep time. Like Khushi and her family, the common reason turns out to be the watching television till late due to very late dinner timings in families. School-going children must get 8-10 hours of sleep at night, and even parents need enough sleep of 7-8 hours at night and parents must help their children go to bed early and have a good 10 hours of sleep.

To our surprise, Khushi’s behaviour started changing after a week. She became calmer, cheerful, happier and began doing her homework on her own in the afternoons. She reduced her afternoon sleep duration and ate a proper breakfast in the morning before leaving for school. Seeing such changes, my cousin postponed the psychological tests and consented to continue the same schedule.

In the following months, Khushi’s confidence levels became high, and her class performance improved. She came out with flying colours in final exams with B grades in most of the subjects and a few A grades as well!!!

Studies have shown that adequate sleep helps improve concentration, focus and memory of the brain; it improves digestion & appetite; enhances energy levels, and makes the child calmer and cheerful.

A SIMPLE MEASURE OF JUST ADJUSTING SLEEP HOURS DID WONDERS TO KHUSHI’S BEHAVIOUR, AND SHE TRANSFORMED FROM A ROTI PARI TO A HASTI PARI!!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
TAKE ACTION FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD.

Stay Healthy!

Dr. Monika Mittal

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Swati Mahajan published in Blogs February 11, 2021

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

It’s often been said that motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. Indeed, there is no task more challenging than caring for the emotional, physical, and mental health of another human being. As a mom it is so easy to feel overwhelmed, overworked and stressed.

If you tell yourself negative things daily – guess what, you are setting yourself up for failure or repeat patterns of life. I believe in the power of affirmations so much because What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level has a significant impact on the outcome of events. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. Amazing right?

Pick any two of these affirmations daily and use them for at least 21 days!. Save them, say them whenever you can, or write them down every morning. Post them where you will see them. Come back here and comment below to let me know what miracles you see changing

I respect my children; I respect myself.
I am a blessing to my children. I am a powerhouse
I am doing an amazing job. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
I am my child’s lifelong teacher.
I can trust my maternal intuition.
I am learning to be a better mother with each new day.
I will take care of myself in order to be a good mother.
I am doing the best that I can for my children and it is enough.
I am becoming a more confident mother with each new day. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day
I am creating positive, lifelong memories with my children.
I know better than anyone else what my children need.
I am allowed to ask for help as a mother. I deserve time to relax.
Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

Which of these mama-mantras stands out to you today?

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Articles, Blogs September 4, 2020

TEENS – Drug Abuse & Addiction

World Health Organization defines drug addiction as follows:

“Drug addiction is the state of periodic or chronic intoxication detrimental to the individual and to society, produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). Its characteristics include (1) an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means (2) a tendency to increase the dosage, and (3) a psychic (psychological) and sometimes physical dependence on the effects of the drug.”

This is emerging as a challenge that requires immediate attention and policy intervention from Indian government. Young generation is the premise to build future of the nation and if current generation is deeply immersed with such addiction, nation will be deprived of productive human resources in the future.

Teens who abuse drugs may have a greater risk of developing an addiction when they grow adults. Drugs have a more drastic effect on children and teens than on adults because the brain continues to develop until about age 20. In young age alcohol and other drugs disrupt brain development. They negatively affect a person’s memory and ability to respond to stimuli and to respond to stressful situations.

Anyone who tries a drug initially never plans to become addicted. Just because a teen has tried drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean he/she will become an addict. There is difference between drug abuse and addiction. Addiction occurs when frequent usage of drugs effects brain functions over time. The transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use reflects changes in the brain’s natural inhibition and reward centers that keep a person from exerting control over the impulse to use drugs. Developing brains are also more prone to addiction. Teenager’s brain adapt more quickly to repeated drug use, leading to cravings and dependence.

There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behaviour of teenage drug and alcohol use.

Curiosity: Many teens begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol simply because they are curious and want to know what it feels like. Even if they know that drugs are bad, they don’t believe that anything bad can actually happen to them.

Peer Pressure: Peers are most influential at this stage of life. Many teens use drugs “because others are doing it”—or they think others are doing it—and they fear not being accepted in a social circle that includes drug-using peers.

Having Fun : Past studies used to point to “having fun” as the number-one reason teens using drugs. It’s fun getting drunk or high with friends, sharing an intensely pleasurable drug-induced euphoria. Teens don’t get addicted to substance but they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings. Abused drugs interact with the neurochemistry of the brain to produce feelings of pleasure. The intensity of this euphoria differs by the type of drug and how it is used.

Lack of Confidence/ Low Self-Esteem: A study reported that most of the teens say that they use drugs to “feel cool.” Teens’ self-worth depends on the approval of others, and their desire for social acceptance can drive them to engage in destructive behaviors, even if they know it could harm them. Teens who have low self-esteem are more likely to seek acceptance from the wrong crowd by using drugs.

Stress: Some teens turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escapism. Many teenagers are overly stressed with a packed schedule of advanced classes and extracurricular activities. A lack of coping skills can lead them to seek an artificial method of coping with stress. When they feel stressed or pressurized they see these substances as a way to forget existing problems and feel happier.

Misinformation: Studies show that teens are widely misinformed about the risk/dangers attached to drugs abuse. Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs. Teens need to be educated by parents and teachers about the specific risks of drugs.

If you are concerned that your teen might be using drugs, here are some common warning signs to watch for.

Behavioural Changes:

Decreased interest in activities and hobbies.
Isolating themselves from friends or family.
Acting secretive.
Avoiding eye contact.
Changing friends or social circles.
Extreme highs and lows
Slurred or rapid-fire speech.
Unusual tiredness

Physical Changes:

Bloodshot Eyes.
Poor hygiene
Smell of smoke on breath or clothes
Excessive thirst or hunger
Sudden weight loss or gain
Coordination problems
Nausea and vomiting
Shakes or tremors
Pinpoint pupils

The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility. Teens are also more likely to take excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol because of how they perceive the risks and dangers.

Alcohal: Intake in liquid state e.g Beer, Whisky, Rum, Vodka

Marijuana: Also called weed, pot, grass, ganja and many more other slang names. It’s get consumed by smoking and vaporizing

Prescriptions and Over-the-counter Medications: Pills, Capsules, Injections, Syrups

Smack (Heroine): is a white or brown. It can be mixed with water and injected with a needle. Heroin can also be smoked or snorted up the nose. Also called Snow, White lady, Horse, H, Eagle, Chitta, Brown Sugar, Mud

Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts. Parents can play an important role in keeping their kids away from this curse.

Strong Bond: Have a strong bond with your child. Teens who have healthy relationships with their parents may be more likely to discuss their encounters with drugs.

Having at least one meal a day with the entire family present
Making time to talk with teenagers regularly to check in with their feelings, activities and behaviours
Getting to know a teenager’s friends and their parents
Communicating with teachers and school counselors on an ongoing basis
Participating in community activities that keep schools and neighborhoods safe for teenagers
Attending your teen’s school activities and showing support for her interests
Letting your teenager know every day that you love him and care about his future

Teach Your Teen How to Say No to Friends: Friends are important. Teens trust their friends, and they seek their approval. However, children need to know how to resist peer pressure and make their own decisions. If a friend offers alcohol or drugs, your child must understand the power of saying no. When surrounded by friends who avoid drugs and alcohol, saying no becomes easier. Encourage your teen to hang out with friends who choose not to use alcohol and other drugs.

Discuss Risk involved in Substance abuse: Being involved in your teen’s life is one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse. Having open and honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, drug use and peer pressure can make a huge difference. Parents who do not want their kids getting drunk and using drugs should begin by sending a strong message to their children about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Be a Role Model: One of the most important ways parents influence their children is by being positive role models. Teens mimic what they see. That means parents should keep alcohol and other drugs away from the home. If you drink in front of your children, do so in moderation and explain why it’s important for kids to abstain from alcohol until their brains are fully developed.

Engage them in Physical & other recreational activities: Keep them busy in sports, art, music, dance or any other activity they want to pursue in life. People those who pursue their hobbies have lesser chance to get addicted.

Key Points:

Many teens experiment with drugs, but aren’t addicted.
No one who tries a drug; plan to become addicted.
Some people can have one drink or one hit and stop. It’s not as easy for others — especially those who have a family history of addiction.
Teens don’t get addicted to substance they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings.
Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs.
Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise.
Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts.
The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility

“Let’s raise children who don’t have to recover from mistakes of childhood in their youth”

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Blogs September 4, 2020

Tech ‘N’ Toddlers

Too much of anything is not good and this also stands true about exposure of Media available today to kids. I have been receiving numerous queries from parents in this regard:

What shall be the permissible limit to play video games?
To which extent shall we allow our kids to watch TV
How to differentiate their viewing of educational videos from entertainment videos?

Good part about this problem is that parents at least started realizing that problem exists. Let’s discuss how to address this issue.

Rules for TV watching:

Separate Viewing from Chewing:

If you allow your child to watch television while eating meal, it might make your child become heavily dependent upon it. Research shows that the particular combination of eating while watching something is a strong motivator to get your kids hooked to TV.

Decide What is allowed to be watched:

Children can easily hook upon a movie or a TV series that aren’t meant for them. This is why it is imperative that you decide what is best for your child. It shall be age appropriate.

Set a Family Time for watching TV

Have time when you and your kids can enjoy a fun family movie once in a while. This will give you the chance to interact with your kids and spend some quality time together.

Kid’s room should not have the TV

TV does keep kids out of your way when you’re busy, but giving your kids a separate television for their rooms is simply asking for trouble. Your kids are more likely to find and watch inappropriate programs and you will not be able to control what they watch, and the amount of time they spend on the TV.

Rules for Video Games:

Having fun with video games should only be allowed after children have taken care of other responsibilities. For example, parents are strongly advised to set a rule that video games can only be played after homework is completed (and completed with effort).

Access to computer/video games should be viewed as an earned privilege, not an automatic right.
Keep computers and gadgets out of a child’s bedroom. It is much easier to limit computer gaming (and monitor online activity) if computers are in open spaces or family rooms. To ensure children not getting addicted to computer games this is perhaps the first step parents should take.
Children addicted to computer games will happily play for hours at a time. Although this can provide valuable free time for busy moms and dads, parents need to make sure that computer games are not their child’s primary activity or form of entertainment.

What’s Recommended?

Toddlers up to 18 months old: No Screen time
Toddlers up to 18 months to 24 months: Some Screen time with a parent or caregiver.
Preschoolers: Not more than 1 hour a day of educational program, together with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they’re watching.
Children above 5 years: Parents should place consistent limits on screen time, which includes TV, social media and video games.

Board Games & Outdoor Games:

Encourage your child to get engaged in other activities that are more beneficial to them in both ways mentally and physically. Kids should be doing things that are intellectually enriching: playing with board games, playing with dice, playing with things that will improve their motor skills, reading skills, logics, visual ability & concentration. You need to have at least 4-5 different board games at home, 1-2 single player games and 2-3 multi-player games.

Spare time to play with your child. Cherish these moments.

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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