Tag: DEEP Parenting

Girish Panicker published in Blogs

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

 

The Vienna general hospital had two maternity wards, one handled by doctors and the other by midwives. In the mid-1800s, Dr. Ignaz Semmelweiz was heading the ward that was being handled by doctors. The surprising fact was that the mortality rate of mothers who were looked after by the doctors was 1 in 10 and the mortality rate of mothers looked after by midwives was 1 in 50. This was quite embarrassing for the doctors. They tried changing the bedsheets, cleaning the floors window curtains, but the mortality rate remained the same. They even laid down SOPs for both the wards so that there was uniformity in all respects. Even after all these measures, there was no change in the mortality rates.

The situation was so alarming that many women preferred to deliver on the streets than go to the ward looked after by the doctors for the fear of dying. Dr. Ignaz happened to visit another hospital and was away from Vienna general Hospital for few months and in these few months, the mortality rates of the women at the ward looked after by doctors also reduced to 1 in 50.

Dr. Ignaz after returning from his visit began to examine the reason for this and he found out that, since they were in a  research institute most of the doctors split their time between research on cadavers and treatment of live patients. After doing research, dissecting a cadaver they went on to treat live patients. The very doctors who were supposed to treat the patients were unknowingly carrying the germs that caused the patients to die. They had no idea of germs at that time. Dr. Ignaz found out that he spent far more time on research on cadavers and then directly attended to the pregnancies.

It was Dr. Ignaz after his discovery that he formulated the germ theory. It was after this discovery that all doctors were advised to wash their hands with chlorine and lime. It was a simple solution, but it solved a grave problem. The mortality of women treated by doctors dropped drastically to 1 in 100 after they started washing their hands with chlorine and lime.

 

What can we learn from this incident?

Just like the doctors were unknowingly responsible for the deaths of their patients, many times parents are unknowingly responsible for crushing the child’s dreams and making him/her follow dictates that they feel is right

It needs unconditional love to view children as completely different human beings with curiosity to experiment and discover life on their own.

Parents need to master active listening to understand the unsaid words, the unspoken language and not force a child to just listen to what they say and expect the child to follow without complaining.

It is understandable that all parents do what they do with the intention of giving the best to their children. However, just like the doctors of the Vienna general hospital, they unknowingly do more harm than good.

The focus needs to move from the external world to the inner world, then the entire approach will undergo a dramatic change. The solution may be very simple like washing the hands of the doctors, but the impact can be profound.

Parents need to step back just like Dr. Ignaz who went on a visit to another hospital, which prompted him to search for significant differences in approaches in the doctor’s ward and the midwife’s ward.

The changes could be as simple as choosing a different set of words that we use or just listening to the child without judgement or maybe expressing how you feel or just allowing him/her to take responsibility.

 

Yes! Everything starts with awareness of the situation and taking the appropriate action.

Girish Paniker

Parent Alchemist

 

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Dr. Monika Mittal published in Blogs

ROTI PARI SE HANSTI PARI (रोती परी से हंसती परी)

ROTI PARI SE HASTI PARI (रोती परी से हंसती परी)

It was a usual evening when my cousin called me up to discuss his daughter Khushi’s issue. She was then studying in Junior KG at one of the best CBSE schools near their house. Her grades had been falling (mostly in D and E range), and the school had just issued a warning about her insufficient attention and slow learning in the class despite everyone’s best efforts at the school. The next final tests were only three months away.

Being a doctor and a mother of two grown-up kids, I could relate to his problem and suggested that they meet a counsellor. After the discussion, they met a counsellor on the very next day, and the counsellor advised some tests to assess Khushi’s aptitude and brain mapping. The counsellor planned an appointment for the next week.

In the meantime, I sensed my cousin’s anxiety and continued talking to the family in detail about Khushi. During the conversation, it came to light that Khushi was sleeping every day around midnight, and it was difficult for her to get up at 6 AM for her school at 7 AM. She was not eating properly before going to school except for a small amount of milk which she drank forcefully. Additionally, she slept in the afternoon for 3-4 hours after her lunch, and in the evenings, she was occupied with tuitions and playing with her younger brother. Towards the end of the day, Khushi watched television till midnight with family after dinner at around 10 PM. As a result of this, she was tired and restless most of the time, fighting with her brother, crying easily and not eating correctly.

I suggested that my cousin make Khushi sleep a little earlier by 10 PM with early dinner at 8–8.30 PM. I based my suggestion on the experience of having seen children face problems related to lack of sleep or altered sleep time. Like Khushi and her family, the common reason turns out to be the watching television till late due to very late dinner timings in families. School-going children must get 8-10 hours of sleep at night, and even parents need enough sleep of 7-8 hours at night and parents must help their children go to bed early and have a good 10 hours of sleep.

To our surprise, Khushi’s behaviour started changing after a week. She became calmer, cheerful, happier and began doing her homework on her own in the afternoons. She reduced her afternoon sleep duration and ate a proper breakfast in the morning before leaving for school. Seeing such changes, my cousin postponed the psychological tests and consented to continue the same schedule.

In the following months, Khushi’s confidence levels became high, and her class performance improved. She came out with flying colours in final exams with B grades in most of the subjects and a few A grades as well!!!

Studies have shown that adequate sleep helps improve concentration, focus and memory of the brain; it improves digestion & appetite; enhances energy levels, and makes the child calmer and cheerful.

A SIMPLE MEASURE OF JUST ADJUSTING SLEEP HOURS DID WONDERS TO KHUSHI’S BEHAVIOUR, AND SHE TRANSFORMED FROM A ROTI PARI TO A HASTI PARI!!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
TAKE ACTION FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD.

Stay Healthy!

Dr. Monika Mittal

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Dr. Shraddha Tendulkar published in Articles

BRACHIATION – A SIMPLE PLAY WITH MULTIPLE BENEFITS  

BRACHIATION – A SIMPLE PLAY WITH MULTIPLE BENEFITS

Do you remember when did you last brachiate or have motivated your child to do so? Well now what is this new term Brachiation, it is nothing but simply hanging and monkeying around on trees or on the metal ladders which we have in our park’s or playgrounds.

We hardly pay heed to such simple and interesting activities nor do we dig deep to know the science hidden behind it, have we ever given a piece of mind onto why such ladders were there on playground? And usual answer we get is to increase your height.

There are many benefits of brachiation apart from increasing the height. Brachiation is the ability to swing from rung to rung on an overhead ladder. It is considered one of the milestone like crawling, scooting, walking.

This activity is extremely easy for a very young child and extremely difficult for an adult.

10 most important benefits of the brachiation ladders:

  • Improvement of intelligence.
  • Extension of the rib cage. Greater thoracic extension means more oxygen for the brain.
  • Improvement of breathing
  • Increase in the strength of the hands and arms.
  • Help in the proper development of the back.
  • Decrease in respiratory diseases.
  • Better definition of the laterality of the brain.
  • Better development of manual skill.
  • Greater ease and dexterity when writing.
  • Improvement of visual convergence.
  • Optimal development of eye-hand coordination.

From the sensorial point of view, the brachiation ladder must be made of wood and never of iron, aluminum or plastic. Also with the wood, the hands do not slip.

Try to have one brachiation ladder at home instead of expensive mindless toys. Children will have an activity which could be one substitute to reduce screen time as well.

Happy Parenting and Happy Brachiating

Article by Dr Shraddha Tendulkar

Source of information and Courtesy: Glenn Doman’s book

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Swati Mahajan published in Blogs

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

15 Affirmations for Moms to Help Reduce Anxiety and Increase Positivity

 

It’s often been said that motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. Indeed, there is no task more challenging than caring for the emotional, physical, and mental health of another human being. As a mom it is so easy to feel overwhelmed, overworked and stressed.

 

If you tell yourself negative things daily – guess what, you are setting yourself up for failure or repeat patterns of life. I believe in the power of affirmations so much because What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level has a significant impact on the outcome of events. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. Amazing right?

 

Pick any two of these affirmations daily and use them for at least 21 days!. Save them, say them whenever you can, or write them down every morning. Post them where you will see them. Come back here and comment below to let me know what miracles you see changing

 

  1.  I respect my children; I respect myself.
  2.  I am a blessing to my children. I am a powerhouse
  3.  I am doing an amazing job. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
  4.  I am my child’s lifelong teacher.
  5.  I can trust my maternal intuition.
  6.  I am learning to be a better mother with each new day.
  7.  I will take care of myself in order to be a good mother.
  8.  I am doing the best that I can for my children and it is enough.
  9.  I am becoming a more confident mother with each new day. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
  10.  My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day
  11.  I am creating positive, lifelong memories with my children.
  12.  I know better than anyone else what my children need.
  13.  I am allowed to ask for help as a mother. I deserve time to relax.
  14.  Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
  15.  The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

 

Which of these mama-mantras stands out to you today?

 

 

Regards

Swati Mahajan

Parenting Coach

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Manish Sharma published in Blogs

Art Of Praising Your Child

Parents usually understand the need of praising child. But most of them don’t have much idea about the effective manner, timing and frequency of praising child. Studies and literature also have different opinion about this. Some experts recommend that we shall praise freely and lavishly, on the other hand few warn not to overdo the applause.

Both of the opinions seem correct as experts have strong premise to prove their argument.

First set of experts says it’s very important to praise children as it;

  • encourages them to improve
  • keeps them motivated
  • boosts their self esteem and confidence
  • helps get right behaviour repeated

Second set of experts warn not to praise too much because;

  • child will find it difficult to judge his/her work accurately
  • the more praise children receive, the more they rely on adult evaluations instead of forming their own judgments
  • they afraid to take risks and try new things for fear of not always being on top.
  • it can also lead to some children becoming overconfident
  • There is a great debate among experts about the effects of praise on children. This debate is not about praising or not praising rather difference of opinion is because of way of praise and amount of praise.

So let’s discuss five key points which will help us to draw a balanced approach.

1. Be Specific when Praising

Praise is much more than only saying “Good Boy” or “Good Girl”, be specific about what the praise is for. When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Instead of saying “Wow, you did a great art work” say “Your choice of red & yellow colour has made this work great”

This way your child will also get to know that you are noticing his/her work, and will encourages him/her to do more.

2. Praise the efforts not only results

You can always point out improvement no matter how small e.g. “You really have picked up on your reading…Appreciate”. Highlight their effort “I can see you really tried hard to get it right”

If you are looking for improvement then you need to praise the efforts and don’t need to wait for results to praise. Praising efforts can encourage your child to try hard in the future.

3. Praise must be genuine and sincere

Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not. Even young kids can see right through false praise. Praise should reflect the amount of effort the child put in. Earned praise reinforces your child’s effort and is encouraging.

4. Praise the process/behaviour rather than the Child

“You’re such a good player” or “You have such a beautiful singing voice.” Be careful with this kind of praise which tends to focus on their inborn strengths/abilities. If he believes he arrived prepackaged with certain abilities, he might think he doesn’t need to improve in those areas.

It’s better to focus on process. In Process-based praise emphasize on what he can control, such as how much time he spends on a project or which strategies he uses.

“I am so impressed at how hard you worked on your science project” is more empowering than “Wow, you’re good at science !”

6. Praise in Public – Correct in Private

If you get an opportunity to appreciate your child in public, you can multiply the impact of positive appreciation. Praise in Public becomes celebrations for receiver, it creates that big impact. Choose to correct them in private because if you choose to correct in public it becomes criticism.

6. Accentuate the Positive

Respond to wanted behaviors of your child more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The key to getting great results is to pay attention to “what’s going right” rather than “what’s going wrong”

Try to eliminate constant negativity around and put the focus on all the wonderful, positive things your children are doing instead. Catch them doing right things and appreciate them immediately.

Praising your child is an art and you can master it by practicing above stated Six points.

Happy Parenting !!

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

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