Tag: Positive Parenting

Parenting Tips to Prevent Your Child From Being Stubborn

Children misbehave for many reasons, but the most common one is that they are just bored. They realize that their behavior works, especially if they get their way and get what they want by doing so. Sometimes the desire for power is also the reason behind their mischievousness since this is a way for a kid to try and assert control. So, it is important to know how to battle these actions and how to handle them in a good way.
Bright Side would love to help make your life as a parent a little easier, so i would like to present to you 9 tips on how to prevent these pesky tantrums.

1. Show them a more calm approach to situations

 


Children often like to copy their parents, so we should model their behavior and actions by teaching them to be calm. If they throw a tantrum and you start yelling at them, that’s what will become normal to them. So, instead, show them a different way to deal with their emotions.

2. Offer choices, so they can decide what they want to do

According to assistant professor Angie T. Cranor, giving your child a choice will help satisfy their need to feel in control. So, if they have to pick up their toys and then brush their teeth, ask them which one they want to do first.

3. Carry snacks with you

 


Bad behavior or a bad attitude is often due to hunger, so if you and your child are outside, carrying snacks with you might save you a potential tantrum and keep your child in a good mood.

4. Make them aware of potential bad outcomes

 

“Because I said so” is not a good reason to give to a child when they ask you why they shouldn’t do something. Always try to communicate with them and explain to them what might happen if they are misbehaving and why they shouldn’t do certain things. Make them aware of the natural consequences their actions might have, so they can learn and make better decisions for themselves later.

5. Create a home routine they have to follow and reward them for it

 


Help them develop a good routine like no TV after a certain time, helping with the dishes, brushing their teeth, and going to bed at an appropriate time. And if you want to get creative, you could draw up a board for the month. Tell them that if they follow their routine for the whole month (or 1 or 2 weeks) they could get some kind of reward of their choosing.

6. Give them logical consequences for breaking the rules

 


Logical consequences are tied to a specific misbehavior. For example, if your child doesn’t want to eat their greens, don’t let them have dessert. Or if they don’t want to pick up their toys, don’t let them play with them for the rest of the day. This is good for kids who are struggling with specific things. However, avoid consequences that aren’t logical, for example — if they don’t want to eat their food, don’t make them clean the garage.

7. Redirect the child’s attention

 


According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, sometimes kids can misbehave because they are bored or don’t know any better. So, finding them something to do, specifically something to keep them engaged and entertained, could redirect their attention to something good rather than naughty.

8. Try to ask for their opinions and solutions to problems

 


Ask them if there is a problem or if something is bothering them, if there is something wrong and they tell you what it is, sit down with them and discuss it. Try to ask for their opinions and thoughts on what they think they should do to fix a problem. If they don’t have an answer help them out a bit, but remember, it’s important to make them feel like they are solving their problem and it’s important to congratulate them and encourage them.

9. Acknowledge the emotions they are feeling and try to help them

 


Instead of acting like they are bad or mischievous, you can show them that you understand them and how they are feeling. Since emotions play a big role in a child’s behavior, it’s always good to acknowledge them. For example, a simple, “I know you’re disappointed we can’t go out to the beach today, but the weather is not good. Let’s do something else together to make up for it,” could go a long way with your child.
How do you handle the situation when your children are misbehaving? Please share any extra trips with other parents in the comments! 👇

Digital Exposure & Experiencing Nature -The Balance Our Children Need

Digital Exposure & Experiencing Nature -The Balance our children need!

 

One of the perks of working as a parenting coach and counselor is being able to pull from your own experiences, both as a father and of course as a kid. This forces you to realize just how much has changed since your childhood. As a latchkey kid who thrived on fresh air, Extensive Playtime, and family dinners, I look at today’s generation of tech-savvy tots and wonder when — and, more importantly, how — this transformation occurred.

Today’s childhood is getting trapped in a world of gadgetry!

My first “owned” Gadget was at 21. A cellphone shared by my sister  and me, but operated by my Father because ‘you all are young to use it and hey it is expensive!

The most telling difference between my childhood and the present, however, is today’s lack of time. Time to explore, time to experiment, time to be a child – which means, most importantly, time to play.

Mr.COVID having added to it all!

The Kids of the big cities and now rapidly increasing in Towns as well are living in a ‘citified’ environment- lack of connection with Nature.

A child, any growing child needs stimulation-

The Gadgets, The screens, The schools and even the parents are however becoming Overwhelming rather than stimulating to a child’s sensory demands.

The Child may have all the consumption but is steadily being devoid of the Engagement.

We are teaching our children how to make a living, but not life!

We’ve been telling them how we have made our way to the moon and back, but have trouble letting them meet the new neighbor.

This boon of ‘Digital Fidgeting’ has taken away the ‘Friendly Neighbourhood’.

Quite a Paradox is it not!

So, is there a way back from this? Should we reconsider?

Should we BAN the Digital world from a child’s life?

As a Parenting Coach, I have counseled and seen many cases where extremes have failed!

The answer one feels is in Division of the day, week, month.

Slowly and steadily compartmentalize the mind of the child to understand that the week is going to be designed into 2 parts.

Balanced between Boons of Digital Exposure to The abundance of Nature.

Children nowadays have many more opportunities to literally see the world than we had. In our time, we could only read about different countries and their culture through books. Now, there is digital media to support that experience and of course, not to mention the opportunity to travel and experience first-hand. so why not have a balance.

When you introduce your little one to animals and their sounds on the television, ensure you take her/him to the zoo to see those animals in their natural habitat and hear those sounds real in the next 2 days. This makes 2 days of both offering them Digital Exposure and Experiencing Nature.

When your child watches an animal animation fiction on the Tele, that same week Arrange for a trip to an Animal Café for her/him to feel the warmth and compassion of the animals of different kinds.

The above examples will ensure that a child will consume the ways and means of an animal kingdom, species, and their ways via digital boon and then experience the engagement when they visit such places and feel their sensory demands being satisfied.

A perfect example of balance and harmony of

Look, Listen & feel.

This can be tried in all aspects of the child’s interest. Now the child will know and appreciate the difference between learning from digital media and being and feeling in the real environment. The child enjoys and appreciates the worth of both aspects.

Woh kehte hain na, “ बच्चों को ये सिखाना चाहिए कि कैसे सोचें , ना कि क्या सोचें।

To me, this will create an environment for the child to recognize the balance between Consumption and Engagement.

 

-Santosh Bakhshi

A Life Coach & A Learning Father!

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

How can we address kids Emotional Cravings?

 

Kids crave for parents undivided attention. Gizmos, gadgets, devices all are an escape route for them when they are not given to do things they truly want to engage themselves with. Have we ever realized just as we have cravings children too crave for a lot of things? Cravings are not only associated with eating disorders or providing for a sweet tooth, there are emotional cravings too. These days the pace of life is so fast that it is easy to shrug off our children’s emotional and psychological needs. How about listening to those cravings of your child and addressing them one step at a time? While it may not be possible to settle all their needs and cravings in one go but as parents can we hear them out by paying close attention to what they truly desire from a parent? All that children need is an emotional connection with their parents or primary caregivers.

 

Here are 10 things that kids crave to do with their parents.

1. Mamma  – Tell me story or read to me

2. Play hide and seek with me.

3. Involve me in your work. Can i help you mamma?

4. Can you get me a surprise today?

5. Can you take me to the garden today?

6. Let’s do a bubble bath together ?

7. Can you put nail paint on me.

8. Come with me, stay with me all the time.

9. When are we meeting my friends ? (Since lockdown this is one of the most frequently asked question by my girls.)

10. Don’t go to the office today. I want to play with you.

 

Well some ‘asks’ are easy and fun while the others may not be easy to address on an everyday basis and that is okay. What is important is, to understand that kids do not need expensive objects or toys, all they require is undivided attention, unstructured playtime and a non judgmental approach from their parents. So, what do your children crave from you? Do give it a thought. Hear them out. It’s time to get reflective and give them what they truly desire from you even if it is in piece-meal.

 

Let’s try to invest time in our children because these will help you build beautiful memories as a family. If we are able to give them the desired attention, that in itself is playing a big role in settling their cravings. So, what are you thinking? Get set going and be a family that has fun rather than the one that’s always on the run.

 

I hope you found this blog useful. Do share your ideas and suggestions on how you think kid’s cravings can be addressed.

 

Happy Parenting!

Aditi Malik

Blogger, Podcaster and Parenting Coach.

How to take care of your child’s mental health?

How to take care of your child’s mental health?

Living in the modern world, we all might have heard our peers’ discussing how emotional health is equally important as our physical health!

Well, it’s true. However, if you belong to Generation X or even if you are a Millennial, who is now a parent, you might relate to a lot of stuff discussed in this brief piece on mental health.

Remember the times when our hearts smiled more than our faces! Yes, I am referring to our childhood.

It was the time when innocence was the most prominent trait. Among our cousins and friends, there were occasional fights that lacked blame or ego.

A time when we used to play with toys that were not so electronic.

A time in life where the denial was mostly associated with “I won’t share my piece of cake or chocolate with anyone.”

A time so carefree… isn’t it?

While we grew up, every time somebody threw a No at us, most of us thought it’s such a blessing to grow up and live life on our terms. Little did we know of how much goes into living life on our own terms.

As we grew a little old and began experiencing the bits of life firsthand, we gradually enrolled ourselves for the rat race of making it big in life. Our spirits were then forced to carry the weight of performance and peer pressure.

Over time, these pressures and challenges lead to an understanding of the importance of emotional well being.

Would you like such a life for your child?

Definitely not! We all want our children to live a better life than ours and offer them the best possible support we can. Right?

Here, it’s crucial to note that just like physical health, emotional health is vital for the human body and soul.

Maintaining emotional wellbeing allows children and young adults to develop resilience to cope with whatever life throws at them and grow into well rounded, healthy adults.

Alarmingly, 70% of children and young adults experience a mental health problem such as depression, abuse, etc.

Most children grow up mentally healthy, but surveys suggest that many children and adolescents move towards depression and anxiety troubles. It has emerged to be a case because of the frequent changes in the way we live and how that affects a child’s experience growing up.

How can you maintain your Children’s mental health? 

1. Parental Help: Parents must have a warm, open relationship with their children. One essential job to be done is to pay full attention to your child and acknowledge their feelings. Reaching out and talking to them would help them avoid finding solace in harmful distractions like Smartphone’s, gaming, prohibited activities, etc.

2. Professional Help: A parental coach can assist and advise you to better understand your relationship with the child and provide you with the right tools to correct behavioural issues.

Let’s learn more about professional help.

Parent coaching sessions offer the progenitors with the tools required to handle nearly any situation in the family. The certified coaches are proficient in assisting moms and dads in creating a roadmap to:

● learn efficient ways to respond to scenarios instead of reacting abruptly

● imbibe ways to become patient and kind towards the child

● creating a calmer, happier, and more inviting environment for the child

● improve the overall relationship between parent and child

● learning effective ways to communicate with children of every age

● understanding the behavioural patterns and demands of children

We all are living in lifestyles that are busy and hectic. Reaching out for coaching helps solve prevalent issues and teaches parents the right way to deal with their child and avoid any arguing, whining, or bickering with them.

Each session provides techniques, tools, and strategies to handle specific family life issues. A coach avoids talking about the past and instead focuses all attention on now and the days ahead. With assistance, parents produce results by developing clear, concise steps to determine intentions, values, and goals for moving forward to a healthier family.

With every session, a parent can learn new techniques, strategies, or methods to handle specific family issues. A parent coach would always motivate you to focus on the future and avoid talking about the past. With the right assistance, you, as a parent, can witness fantastic results, leading to form a healthy and happy family.

While looking for your child’s mental health, below are some other aspects that can be worked upon are:

1) Maintaining good physical health, eating a balanced diet and following a regular exercise routine

2) Making them feel loved, trusted, understood, valued and safe

3) Making them learn and grab opportunities to succeed

4) Accepting who they are and recognizing what they are skilled at!

5) Since your child can test your nerves, attaining mindfulness will make you happier and let you manage anxiety, stress, and depression.

 

Author

Vishakha Goyal
Founder- LifeLitmus
IPA Expert, Parenting Coach, Access Bar Practitioner, Sound Healer

 

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Help Yourself and Your Child Busting the Exam Stress!!!

Parents easily get stressed when the exam time of the children draw closer. Exams can really be stressful for the entire family, but in reality, it needn’t be this way. It’s understandable that the child will experience stress and anxiety. If we as parents stress out, kids will stress out even more. Instead of putting additional pressure, there is a lot that parents can do motivate their kids for scoring well and prepare systematically for their exams.

Here are 10 practical and handy tips for the parents that will help them prepare their kids score well in the exams and reduce stress:-

  1. Know your child’s Exam time table – A very helpful way to help reducing yours and your child’s stress during their exams. Parents must know what exam the child has got next in order to help them prepare on time. It proves to be an extra element of support. You can simply add it to your calendar or pin a copy of the exam time table onto the notice board.
  2. Regular monitoring of their studies– Always take some time out to monitor your child’s progress. Sit with your child and design a schedule so that he or she has enough time for revision. Lending a helping hand in building a useful schedule for their days and weeks will help them efficiently utilizing their time. Don’t let them putting off all the preparation for the last days.
  3. Cut back on distractions– Any distractions, be it TV, gadgets, phones, gatherings, parties or even a disturbance from siblings must be avoided. It’s imperative to give your child the right atmosphere during exams to make him perform and score well. Try to allocate a comfortable room or a space in the home for your child to study in peace. 
  4. Do not compromise on child’s nutrition – Your Child health might get affected while dealing with exams pressure. An extra and special care is very much required keeping in mind the pressure child has on his mind. Adding fresh and seasonal fruits may do wonders for them. It helps them improving their concentration levels. 
  5. Enough sleep is fundamental – Be it school or exam, enough sleep is essential for a child to perform well. Teenagers have a habit of catching up on social media before bed which can cut the sleep time resulting in them being tired right before their exam. Prohibiting device in bedroom especially during exams or cutting off the internet is highly recommended. Installing parental control is also advisable during exam time.
  6. Help them to be active – Encourage them to take breaks between studies. As studying continuously will tire out the brain and affect the ability to retain knowledge. A power nap, stretching exercises, listening to music OR dancing can refresh and re-energize them.  Processed food, high caffeine or sugar intake can make kids anxious during exam days. Teenagers are recommended not to exceed 100 ml of caffeine a day.  Encourage them to take plenty of water.
  7. Never compare your child – Comparing your child with other kids, using negative words to demean them, or questioning their caliber on the basis of scores will just hurt the sentiments of the child. His true potential shouldn’t be measured with scores in the exams. Parents must remember that  exams are just one of the many challenges your child will face and it’s not the end of life. So, take it easy!
  8. Reward your child efforts- Rewarding your child is important to motivate them to put their best foot forward. Don’t bribe them with expensive gifts. A simple family outing or catching up with friends or cousins after the exam can help the child to take his pressure off.
  9. Identifying warning signs, if any – Its imperative to ensure your child’s mental well-being too. It’s natural to feel anxious during exams. But if there are signs of extreme anxiety, loss of appetite, anger issues or irritated mood, these could indicate that the child is not keeping well. Always keep a check, intervene and talk to them at the right time.
  10. Stay calm – Don’t build too much pressure on them. Stand in support of your child, believe in his abilities, help them preparing for the exams without overburdening them with your expectations.

So, stay calm! And if you can’t, fake it till you make it. Try to hold your stress inside and not to discuss with your child.

Hope these tips will help you and your child staying stress free in the days of examinations. These tips will not only help them coping with stress but will also form the right outlook for exams.

 

Author

Neetu J. Talwar

ESL Trainer and Parenting Coach from Deep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Motherhood isn’t all Giggles & Cuddles!

Motherhood isn’t all Giggles & Cuddles!

 

There…. I said it!

 

Yes, you have a tiny one to cuddle and play silly with all day, but motherhood is beyond that. While you bask in the endless baby talks and the sweet baby scent, you realize gradually that you are solely responsible for the well-being of this little one too. And just when you ‘think’ you have it all figured and sorted out, the challenges change.

The worst part is that there is no rule book to follow, no sage advice to guide you, and no precedence to look up to for a solution.

Is motherhood easy? Well, just yesterday morning, I was crying a bucketful of tears and only wanted to go somewhere far away. Somewhere where there’d be no one to calling out ‘Mumma’ every fraction of a second!

So, yes, motherhood is challenging! A few ways I cope, rather try to!

P.S: I’m almost always near the brim just about to sink in and yet managing to stay afloat!

 

  • Breathe! Yes. B……..r……..e………a……..t………h……….e…………..

 

  • Celebrate little moments. Your baby burped quickly? Dance a bit. Self-fed without much mess? Do a little gig. Pooped in the potty seat? Now that calls for a big celebration!!! Rejoice. Celebrate. Smile. Laugh.

 

  • Make yourself a hot cup of chocolate milk or coffee on the night your baby sleeps on time! Don’t worry; we mommies need more caffeine than that to drive away our sleep.

 

  • Focus, prioritize and leave what’s not humanly possible. Period. Let people think. Let them judge. You are doing your best and you need not prove it all the time. The laundry can wait and so can the endless cupboards that need dusting.

 

  • Delegate work. Hire help wherever possible. Gives you a little more time from the same 24 hours.

 

  • Look for support. Seek help. Online or offline…doesn’t matter. Meet old friends and make new ones. Though I can’t brag to have an awesome social life, so to say, I do have an extremely strong network of mothers who are my soul sisters now. Not a day can pass without their love and support!

 

  • Nurture a hobby or that long forgotten passion. Not that you’ll find the time to do it seriously enough, but a few moments away (mentally) do work. For me, it’s writing and reading.

 

  • Put on the music. It helps. It distracts. It changes the mood. And doesn’t obstruct your work either.

 

  • Shut your eyes for a few moments every few hours. Even 30 seconds help.

 

  • Most importantly, love yourself. Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed, even if that just means putting on a pair of washed Pj’s and tee. Brush your hair. Put on some moisturizer or even some kohl or kajal. And give that beautiful woman in the mirror a good admiring look every day.

 

Be easy on yourself. Yes, you are a mommy. Not a superwoman. That’s another thing that your little one(s) see a cape and a halo around you!

 

Motherhood is beautiful and equally taxing and nerve-wrecking. Every morning, I brace myself  for yet another day. But then, I remind myself that the days may be long while the years are too short. And these little cuddly babies grow up just too soon.

 

Love them with all your being, but don’t lose yourself in the process 🙂

Neha Kapoor Anand

Parenting Coach

 

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

Parenting Lessons from the Vienna General Hospital

 

The Vienna general hospital had two maternity wards, one handled by doctors and the other by midwives. In the mid-1800s, Dr. Ignaz Semmelweiz was heading the ward that was being handled by doctors. The surprising fact was that the mortality rate of mothers who were looked after by the doctors was 1 in 10 and the mortality rate of mothers looked after by midwives was 1 in 50. This was quite embarrassing for the doctors. They tried changing the bedsheets, cleaning the floors window curtains, but the mortality rate remained the same. They even laid down SOPs for both the wards so that there was uniformity in all respects. Even after all these measures, there was no change in the mortality rates.

The situation was so alarming that many women preferred to deliver on the streets than go to the ward looked after by the doctors for the fear of dying. Dr. Ignaz happened to visit another hospital and was away from Vienna general Hospital for few months and in these few months, the mortality rates of the women at the ward looked after by doctors also reduced to 1 in 50.

Dr. Ignaz after returning from his visit began to examine the reason for this and he found out that, since they were in a  research institute most of the doctors split their time between research on cadavers and treatment of live patients. After doing research, dissecting a cadaver they went on to treat live patients. The very doctors who were supposed to treat the patients were unknowingly carrying the germs that caused the patients to die. They had no idea of germs at that time. Dr. Ignaz found out that he spent far more time on research on cadavers and then directly attended to the pregnancies.

It was Dr. Ignaz after his discovery that he formulated the germ theory. It was after this discovery that all doctors were advised to wash their hands with chlorine and lime. It was a simple solution, but it solved a grave problem. The mortality of women treated by doctors dropped drastically to 1 in 100 after they started washing their hands with chlorine and lime.

 

What can we learn from this incident?

Just like the doctors were unknowingly responsible for the deaths of their patients, many times parents are unknowingly responsible for crushing the child’s dreams and making him/her follow dictates that they feel is right

It needs unconditional love to view children as completely different human beings with curiosity to experiment and discover life on their own.

Parents need to master active listening to understand the unsaid words, the unspoken language and not force a child to just listen to what they say and expect the child to follow without complaining.

It is understandable that all parents do what they do with the intention of giving the best to their children. However, just like the doctors of the Vienna general hospital, they unknowingly do more harm than good.

The focus needs to move from the external world to the inner world, then the entire approach will undergo a dramatic change. The solution may be very simple like washing the hands of the doctors, but the impact can be profound.

Parents need to step back just like Dr. Ignaz who went on a visit to another hospital, which prompted him to search for significant differences in approaches in the doctor’s ward and the midwife’s ward.

The changes could be as simple as choosing a different set of words that we use or just listening to the child without judgement or maybe expressing how you feel or just allowing him/her to take responsibility.

 

Yes! Everything starts with awareness of the situation and taking the appropriate action.

Girish Paniker

Parent Alchemist

 

TEENS – Drug Abuse & Addiction

World Health Organization defines drug addiction as follows:

“Drug addiction is the state of periodic or chronic intoxication detrimental to the individual and to society, produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). Its characteristics include (1) an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means (2) a tendency to increase the dosage, and (3) a psychic (psychological) and sometimes physical dependence on the effects of the drug.”

This is emerging as a challenge that requires immediate attention and policy intervention from Indian government.  Young generation is the premise to build future of the nation and if current generation is deeply immersed with such addiction, nation will be deprived of productive human resources in the future.

Teens who abuse drugs may have a greater risk of developing an addiction when they grow adults. Drugs have a more drastic effect on children and teens than on adults because the brain continues to develop until about age 20. In young age alcohol and other drugs disrupt brain development. They negatively affect a person’s memory and ability to respond to stimuli and to respond to stressful situations.

Anyone who tries a drug initially never plans to become addicted. Just because a teen has tried drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean he/she will become an addict. There is difference between drug abuse and addiction. Addiction occurs when frequent usage of drugs effects brain functions over time. The transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use reflects changes in the brain’s natural inhibition and reward centers that keep a person from exerting control over the impulse to use drugs. Developing brains are also more prone to addiction. Teenager’s brain adapt more quickly to repeated drug use, leading to cravings and dependence.

There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behaviour of teenage drug and alcohol use.

Curiosity: Many teens begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol simply because they are curious and want to know what it feels like. Even if they know that drugs are bad, they don’t believe that anything bad can actually happen to them.

Peer Pressure: Peers are most influential at this stage of life. Many teens use drugs “because others are doing it”—or they think others are doing it—and they fear not being accepted in a social circle that includes drug-using peers.

Having Fun :  Past studies used to point to “having fun” as the number-one reason teens using drugs. It’s fun getting drunk or high with friends, sharing an intensely pleasurable drug-induced euphoria. Teens don’t get addicted to substance but they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings. Abused drugs interact with the neurochemistry of the brain to produce feelings of pleasure. The intensity of this euphoria differs by the type of drug and how it is used.

Lack of Confidence/ Low Self-Esteem:  A study reported that most of the teens say that they use drugs to “feel cool.” Teens’ self-worth depends on the approval of others, and their desire for social acceptance can drive them to engage in destructive behaviors, even if they know it could harm them. Teens who have low self-esteem are more likely to seek acceptance from the wrong crowd by using drugs.

Stress: Some teens turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escapism. Many teenagers are overly stressed with a packed schedule of advanced classes and extracurricular activities. A lack of coping skills can lead them to seek an artificial method of coping with stress.  When they feel stressed or pressurized they see these substances as a way to forget existing problems and feel happier.

Misinformation: Studies show that teens are widely misinformed about the risk/dangers attached to drugs abuse. Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs. Teens need to be educated by parents and teachers about the specific risks of drugs.

If you are concerned that your teen might be using drugs, here are some common warning signs to watch for.

Behavioural Changes:

  • Decreased interest in activities and hobbies.
  • Isolating themselves from friends or family.
  • Acting secretive.
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Changing friends or social circles.
  • Extreme highs and lows
  • Slurred or rapid-fire speech.
  • Unusual tiredness 

    Physical Changes:

  • Bloodshot Eyes.
  • Poor hygiene
  • Smell of smoke on breath or clothes
  • Excessive thirst or hunger
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Coordination problems
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Shakes or tremors
  • Pinpoint pupils

The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility. Teens are also more likely to take excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol because of how they perceive the risks and dangers.

Alcohal: Intake in liquid state e.g  Beer, Whisky, Rum, Vodka

Marijuana: Also called weed, pot, grass, ganja and many more other slang names. It’s get consumed by smoking and vaporizing

Prescriptions and Over-the-counter Medications: Pills, Capsules, Injections, Syrups

Smack (Heroine): is a white or brown. It can be mixed with water and injected with a needle. Heroin can also be smoked or snorted up the nose. Also called Snow, White lady, Horse, H, Eagle, Chitta, Brown Sugar, Mud

Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts. Parents can play an important role in keeping their kids away from this curse.

Strong Bond: Have a strong bond with your child. Teens who have healthy relationships with their parents may be more likely to discuss their encounters with drugs.

  • Having at least one meal a day with the entire family present
  • Making time to talk with teenagers regularly to check in with their feelings, activities and behaviours
  • Getting to know a teenager’s friends and their parents
  • Communicating with teachers and school counselors on an ongoing basis
  • Participating in community activities that keep schools and neighborhoods safe for teenagers
  • Attending your teen’s school activities and showing support for her interests
  • Letting your teenager know every day that you love him and care about his future

Teach Your Teen How to Say No to Friends: Friends are important. Teens trust their friends, and they seek their approval. However, children need to know how to resist peer pressure and make their own decisions. If a friend offers alcohol or drugs, your child must understand the power of saying no. When surrounded by friends who avoid drugs and alcohol, saying no becomes easier. Encourage your teen to hang out with friends who choose not to use alcohol and other drugs.

Discuss Risk involved in Substance abuse: Being involved in your teen’s life is one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse. Having open and honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, drug use and peer pressure can make a huge difference. Parents who do not want their kids getting drunk and using drugs should begin by sending a strong message to their children about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Be a Role Model: One of the most important ways parents influence their children is by being positive role models. Teens mimic what they see. That means parents should keep alcohol and other drugs away from the home. If you drink in front of your children, do so in moderation and explain why it’s important for kids to abstain from alcohol until their brains are fully developed.

Engage them in Physical & other recreational activities: Keep them busy in sports, art, music, dance or any other activity they want to pursue in life. People those who pursue their hobbies have lesser chance to get addicted.

Key Points:

  • Many teens experiment with drugs, but aren’t addicted.
  • No one who tries a drug; plan to become addicted.
  • Some people can have one drink or one hit and stop. It’s not as easy for others — especially those who have a family history of addiction.
  • Teens don’t get addicted to substance they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings.
  • Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs.
  • Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise.
  • Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts.
  • The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility

“Let’s raise children who don’t have to recover from mistakes of childhood in their youth”

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

Tech ‘N’ Toddlers

Too much of anything is not good and this also stands true about exposure of Media available today to kids. I have been receiving numerous queries from parents in this regard:

  • What shall be the permissible limit to play video games?
  • To which extent shall we allow our kids to watch TV
  • How to differentiate their viewing of educational videos from entertainment videos?

Good part about this problem is that parents at least started realizing that problem exists. Let’s  discuss how to address this issue.

Rules for TV watching:

  1. Separate Viewing from Chewing:

If you allow your child to watch television while eating meal, it might make your child become heavily dependent upon it. Research shows that the particular combination of eating while watching something is a strong motivator to get your kids hooked to TV.

  1. Decide What is allowed to be watched:

Children can easily hook upon a movie or a TV series that aren’t meant for them. This is why it is imperative that you decide what is best for your child. It shall be age appropriate.

  1. Set a Family Time for watching TV

Have time when you and your kids can enjoy a fun family movie once in a while. This will give you the chance to interact with your kids and spend some quality time together.

  1. Kid’s room should not have the TV

TV does keep kids out of your way when you’re busy, but giving your kids a separate television for their rooms is simply asking for trouble. Your kids are more likely to find and watch inappropriate programs and you will not be able to control what they watch, and the amount of time they spend on the TV.

Rules for Video Games:

  1. Having fun with video games should only be allowed after children have taken care of other responsibilities. For example, parents are strongly advised to set a rule that video games can only be played after homework is completed (and completed with effort).
  1.  Access to computer/video games should be viewed as an earned privilege, not an automatic right.
  2.  Keep computers and gadgets out of a child’s bedroom. It is much easier to limit computer gaming (and monitor online activity) if computers are in open spaces or family rooms. To ensure children not getting addicted to computer games this is perhaps the first step parents should take.
  3. Children addicted to computer games will happily play for hours at a time. Although this can provide valuable free time for busy moms and dads, parents need to make sure that computer games are not their child’s primary activity or form of entertainment.

What’s Recommended?

  • Toddlers up to 18 months old: No Screen time
  • Toddlers up to 18 months to 24 months: Some Screen time with a parent or caregiver.
  • Preschoolers: Not more than 1 hour a day of educational program, together with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they’re watching.
  • Children above 5 years: Parents should place consistent limits on screen time, which includes TV, social media and video games.

       

Board Games & Outdoor Games:

Encourage your child to get engaged in other activities that are more beneficial to them in both ways mentally and physically. Kids should be doing things that are intellectually enriching: playing with board games, playing with dice, playing with things that will improve their motor skills, reading skills, logics, visual ability & concentration. You need to have at least 4-5 different board games at home, 1-2 single player games and 2-3 multi-player games.

Spare time to play with your child. Cherish these moments.

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach

 

Art Of Praising Your Child

Parents usually understand the need of praising child. But most of them don’t have much idea about the effective manner, timing and frequency of praising child. Studies and literature also have different opinion about this. Some experts recommend that we shall praise freely and lavishly, on the other hand few warn not to overdo the applause.

Both of the opinions seem correct as experts have strong premise to prove their argument.

First set of experts says it’s very important to praise children as it;

  • encourages them to improve
  • keeps them motivated
  • boosts their self esteem and confidence
  • helps get right behaviour repeated

Second set of experts warn not to praise too much because;

  • child will find it difficult to judge his/her work accurately
  • the more praise children receive, the more they rely on adult evaluations instead of forming their own judgments
  • they afraid to take risks and try new things for fear of not always being on top.
  • it can also lead to some children becoming overconfident
  • There is a great debate among experts about the effects of praise on children. This debate is not about praising or not praising rather difference of opinion is because of way of praise and amount of praise.

So let’s discuss five key points which will help us to draw a balanced approach.

1. Be Specific when Praising

Praise is much more than only saying “Good Boy” or “Good Girl”, be specific about what the praise is for. When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Instead of saying “Wow, you did a great art work” say “Your choice of red & yellow colour has made this work great”

This way your child will also get to know that you are noticing his/her work, and will encourages him/her to do more.

2. Praise the efforts not only results

You can always point out improvement no matter how small e.g. “You really have picked up on your reading…Appreciate”. Highlight their effort “I can see you really tried hard to get it right”

If you are looking for improvement then you need to praise the efforts and don’t need to wait for results to praise. Praising efforts can encourage your child to try hard in the future.

3. Praise must be genuine and sincere

Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not. Even young kids can see right through false praise. Praise should reflect the amount of effort the child put in. Earned praise reinforces your child’s effort and is encouraging.

4. Praise the process/behaviour rather than the Child

“You’re such a good player” or “You have such a beautiful singing voice.” Be careful with this kind of praise which tends to focus on their inborn strengths/abilities. If he believes he arrived prepackaged with certain abilities, he might think he doesn’t need to improve in those areas.

It’s better to focus on process. In Process-based praise emphasize on what he can control, such as how much time he spends on a project or which strategies he uses.

“I am so impressed at how hard you worked on your science project” is more empowering than “Wow, you’re good at science !”

6. Praise in Public – Correct in Private

If you get an opportunity to appreciate your child in public, you can multiply the impact of positive appreciation. Praise in Public becomes celebrations for receiver, it creates that big impact. Choose to correct them in private because if you choose to correct in public it becomes criticism.

6. Accentuate the Positive

Respond to wanted behaviors of your child more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The key to getting great results is to pay attention to “what’s going right” rather than “what’s going wrong”

Try to eliminate constant negativity around and put the focus on all the wonderful, positive things your children are doing instead. Catch them doing right things and appreciate them immediately.

Praising your child is an art and you can master it by practicing above stated Six points.

Happy Parenting !!

Manish Sharma

Parenting Coach