Tag: mindful parenting

Ruby Gupta published in Blogs

Mornings make the whole day

Mornings make the whole day

How we wake our children in the morning can shape not only their day but also their relationship with us.

Have you ever noticed how a morning at home can turn into a mini battlefield?

“Wakeup!  Wake up ! Its getting late !”

“Jaldi utho ! How many times do I have to call you ?”

“Get out of bed ! You are going to miss the bus !”

And after reapeated reminders, arguments and rushing around , everyone leaves home feeling irritated.

The child leaves feeling pressured and the parent  is left wondering.

“Why does my child never listen? Why are we always running late?”

But what if we could make morning different ?

What if mornings became a time of connection rather than conflict?

We can try the following:

  1. Begin with a cuddle ,not a command.

Imagine waking upto a gentle touch, a warm smile or a loving hug instead of a loud voice.

A cuddle , a gentle kiss, or a few affectionate words can make waking up feel safe and comforting.

Instead of shouting ,”Get up! You are late!” Try saying  “Good morning sweetheart, its time to wake up. I hope you have a lovely day!”

Children may forget the morning rush , but they remember how home made them feel.

This small gesture  helps to create strongest emotional connections.

  1. Ask about their day before telling them what to do

Generally mornings are filled with instructions, reminders and questions about homework, uniforms and lunchboxes.

But have you ever asked

“What are you looking forward to today?

What would make today a goodday?

Is there anything which you are worried about ?

Who knows ,You may discover about a school activity he is excited about or his fear of a test or anything special which you otherwise might miss.

A small coversation can open  a big  window into your child world.

  1. Let them wake up independently –but teach them how

Independence does not develop overnight. It grows through practice, patience and consistent expectations.

Avoid jaldi utho jaldi utho. Instead discuss and guide them  at night about  the time to wake up so they can get ready without rushing . Teenagers can be encouraged to use an alarm and take responsibility for their morning schedule.

Our goal is not to just wake them up  but teach them manage their mornings independently.

 

  1. Why are they late despite hearing “hurry up” ten times?

Children has to do so many morning steps that they lose track of time sometimes. Uniforms,  shoes , prepare school bag and they struggle to organize or  move  from one activity  to another.

So instead of raising volume , simplify the process.

Encourage them to pack their bags the night before.

Create a simple  checklist . The other reason for being late is that

Sometimes they are tired in the morning , so keep a check on their sleep time .

This can shift the conversation from blame to responsibility.

  1. Teenagers need connection

Teenagers has the tendency to retreat into their shells.  So emotional connection is the most important with them.  Choose your words wisely. Avoid criticism about screen time or marks to be the first thing in morning. But a sweet good morning will help.They will feel safe and will open up easily.

If waking up is consistently difficult then look at their bedtime, sleep quality or any other issue first rather blaming them to be lazy or

irresponsible.

 

  1. Remember connection before correction

Of course children need discipline but it doesn’t have to begin with shouting. We can be firm and loving at the same time .Teach routines punctuality and boundaries without making every morning  a struggle.

Parenting is not about creating perfect morning but creating a healthy patterns over time.  After so many preparations many mornings could  still be messy but persistence is the key.

 

My Final Thought

Mornings  make the whole day but the way we begin can also shape the way children experience home.

Let home be the place where children  find Encouragement before they face the world, Confidence before they face challanges and l

Love before they are running late.

Because parenting is not  only about  getting children out of bed and through the door on time.its about helping them begin each day.

Let  us raise children who learn to wake up on time and who wake up every day knowing they are loved.

HAPPY PARENTING

 

  • no reactions
0
0 Share
SHRADHA AGARWAL published in Blogs

A JOURNEY FROM PRESSURE TO POSSIBILITIES

 

How Awareness, Acceptance, Acknowledgement, and Application Helped a Mother Rediscover Faith in Her Child

  1. 1. The Challenge: “Mera Beta Mere Haath Se Nikal Gaya”

“Ma’am, mera beta mere haath se nikal gaya!”

These words reflected a distressed mother’s anxiety about her Class XII son. His board and competitive examinations, including JEE Main, were approaching, yet he was spending increasing amounts of time on his mobile phone, struggling to focus and scoring poorly in coaching tests.

As a parenting coach, I wanted to understand what lay behind his behaviour rather than judge him solely on his academic performance.

After two sessions, I learned that the closure of the dummy school where he had spent much of his schooling, followed by a school change and an unfamiliar environment, had affected him deeply. Along with the challenges of adolescence, he was struggling to adjust and manage his studies.

  1. Awareness: Understanding Before Reacting

I helped the mother recognise how her anxiety was influencing her communication with her son. Repeatedly reminding him of lost time or saying, “Tumse nahi ho payega” and “Tum bas mobile mein lage raho, time waste karte raho” could further discourage him.

I told her, “Your goal is not to pass on your anxiety to your son. Your goal is to help him move forward from where he is today.”

With only two and a half months remaining, completing the entire syllabus was unrealistic. We needed to focus on what we could still achieve.

The shift was from asking, “Why is my child wasting time?” to asking, “What does my child need from me at this stage?”

  1. Acceptance: Starting Where the Child Is

Acceptance did not mean giving up academic expectations. It meant acknowledging the child’s present situation and working realistically from there.

We divided the remaining syllabus into a day-wise, marks-wise plan. Mother and son initially agreed to cover approximately 70% of the syllabus, prioritising important topics. This practical approach eased the mother’s anxiety, and she took leave from her public-sector job to support her son.

We shifted our attention from lost opportunities to the possibilities that remained.

  1. Acknowledgement: Recognising Effort and Potential

I encouraged the mother to avoid negative remarks and practise encouragement.

She called me daily to discuss her son’s routine. Although she often had complaints, she ended each call by telling me she had not said anything negative to him that day. I appreciated her efforts because she, too, was learning to change.

One day, she called me repeatedly while I was at a family gathering. She was crying because she had caught her son talking to a girl.

“Ye toh bigad gaya hai!” she exclaimed.

I laughed and said, “Congratulations!” I wanted her to view the incident differently rather than treat it as proof that her son was going astray. I advised her not to scold or taunt him and later discussed adolescence and the importance of trust.

I also explained that praise should not be limited to marks and achievements. We must acknowledge effort, progress, persistence, and the willingness to try again. Instead of saying only, “You scored well,” we can say, “I can see how much effort you put into preparing for this test.”

Gradually, the mother began recalling her son’s earlier achievements. She sent me photographs of his gold medal from the Class VIII Science Olympiad and other certificates. These memories helped her see beyond his current struggles and reconnect with his abilities.

Sometimes, a child needs an adult who believes in their potential until they can believe in it themselves.

  1. Application: Turning Awareness into Action

The mother began applying these learnings daily. She worked on her responses, avoided negative remarks, and encouraged her son while focusing on realistic goals and consistent progress.

By December, he had revised 50% of his Physics and Mathematics syllabus with help from his mother and Chemistry tutor. Although his pre-board results were not very good, we developed strategies for further preparation instead of allowing those marks to define his abilities.

The outcome was heartening. He cleared his Class XII board examinations with flying colours and secured admission to a good engineering college in Noida, in his preferred branch.

The Key Learning

 Change the Lens, Change the Possibilities

This journey was not just about academic success. It was about a mother learning to manage her anxiety, change her responses, and rediscover faith in her child.

Praise the effort. Acknowledge the progress. Guide the behaviour. Above all, keep believing in your child—even when circumstances seem unfavourable.

Sometimes, the most important change in a child’s life begins when a parent changes the way they see their child.

By

SHRADHA AGARWAL

HAPPY PARENTING HUB

9650996151



1
0 Share
Dr. Saoli Datta Roy published in Articles, Blogs

Picky Eating in Children: Before We Change the Menu, Let Us Understand the Child

“Just one more bite!”
“You haven’t eaten anything!”
“Why can’t you eat what everyone else is eating?”

For many parents, mealtimes become a daily negotiation. What begins as a concern about nutrition can slowly turn into frustration, anxiety, and a power struggle between the parent and the child.

But what if we pause and ask ourselves: Is my child refusing food, or is there something about the food that my child is finding difficult to accept?

As parents and parent coaches, we need to look beyond the plate and understand the child behind the behaviour.

Understanding the reason behind picky eating

Picky eating can range from a normal developmental phase to a more complex feeding difficulty.

Between 2 and 4 years of age, children commonly become selective about food as they develop independence and explore their preferences. However, significant food selectivity can emerge or become noticeable at a later age, too.

Some children have differences in sensory processing. The taste, smell, temperature, appearance, or texture of certain foods may feel overwhelming. A child may tolerate crunchy foods but reject soft ones, accept foods separately but refuse mixed dishes, or become distressed simply by the smell of a particular food.

Gustatory sensory processing relates to how the brain processes taste. Oral sensory sensitivities may also affect how a child experiences food inside the mouth.

Sometimes, what appears to be picky eating may be associated with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, developmental differences, or avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). These conditions do not affect every child in the same way, and picky eating alone does not establish any diagnosis.

Medical causes such as constipation, reflux, dental pain, food allergies, oral-motor difficulties, and swallowing problems must also be considered.

Before treating a child as a typical picky eater, we must evaluate whether an underlying medical, developmental, sensory, or feeding-skill difficulty is present.

Ordinary picky eating or a feeding difficulty?

How do we know when to look beyond ordinary food preferences?

A child who dislikes a few vegetables but eats a reasonable variety of foods, grows appropriately, and participates comfortably in family meals may simply need time, patience, and repeated exposure.

However, professional assessment becomes important when a child:

  • Accepts only a very limited range of foods or gradually eliminates previously accepted foods.
  • Has strong sensory reactions to food smells, textures, temperatures, or appearances.
  • Gags frequently, struggles to chew, coughs or chokes while eating, or appears to have difficulty swallowing.
  • Has poor growth, nutritional deficiencies, persistent gastrointestinal symptoms, or concerns about adequate intake.
  • Experiences significant anxiety or distress around meals, or when food interferes with everyday functioning.

Depending on the presentation, a paediatrician may recommend assessment by a dietitian, speech and language therapist, occupational therapist, psychologist, or specialist feeding team.

The aim is not to label the child. It is to identify the reason behind the difficulty and provide appropriate support before the problem becomes more entrenched.

When the gag reflex becomes a barrier

Some children gag when a particular texture touches their tongue or enters their mouth. Others gag when they smell a food, see it on the plate, or anticipate being asked to eat it.

A gag reflex is a protective response. However, recurrent or exaggerated gagging may be associated with oral sensory sensitivity, oral-motor difficulties, previous unpleasant feeding experiences, or medical concerns.

It is important to distinguish taste-related sensory difficulties from gagging and swallowing problems. Although these can overlap, their management may differ.

What can parents do?

 

  1. Never force a bite. Pushing food into the mouth or insisting that the child swallow despite gagging can increase distress and food aversion.
  2. Start outside the mouth. Allow the child to look at, smell, touch, or help prepare the food without any expectation of eating it.
  3. Introduce gradual, manageable experiences. Depending on the child’s needs, begin with foods they already accept and explore small changes in appearance, temperature, or texture.
  4. Observe the triggers. Note which foods or textures lead to gagging, whether the reaction occurs before or during eating, and whether there are other symptoms.
  5. Seek appropriate assessment. A paediatrician can help identify medical causes and recommend a feeding specialist when needed. Frequent gagging, coughing, choking, or difficulty swallowing should not be managed simply by repeatedly exposing the child to the offending food.

There is no universal home exercise that can safely eliminate an exaggerated gag reflex. Management must be individualised.

 

Reintroducing foods: Patience before giving up

Have you offered a vegetable twice, watched your child reject it, and decided never to serve it again?

Children often need repeated, pressure-free exposure to become familiar with a food. It may take 10–20 exposures or more, although this is not a fixed rule and acceptance varies from child to child.

Start small. Let the child see the food, touch it, smell it, help wash it, or place it on the plate. Eating can come later.

You can also follow a practical meal-planning principle: repeat the same rejected food after the fourth meal rather than offering it at every meal. This is a flexible strategy, not a scientific rule. It gives the child some space while keeping the food familiar.

Offer a familiar, accepted food alongside the new food. Avoid pressure, bargaining, threats, and forcing the child to finish a portion.

For children with significant sensory or feeding difficulties, exposure must be adapted to their tolerance and professional guidance.

Predictability in unpredictability

Children need routine, but they also need opportunities to explore.

Maintain predictable meal and snack timings while introducing variety in manageable ways. A vegetable may be steamed one day and included in a familiar dish another day. Allow the child to participate in choosing or preparing food.

The aim is to create a balance: the child knows what to expect, yet has opportunities to discover something new.

Remember that predictability does not mean serving the same menu every day, and variety does not mean introducing several unfamiliar foods at once.

Encouragement and acceptance must go hand in hand

Encourage your child to explore, but accept that they may not be ready to taste something today.

Appreciate small steps: sitting at the table, touching a new food, smelling it, or taking a tiny bite. Avoid comparing siblings, shaming the child, or expressing disappointment over every rejected meal.

At the same time, acceptance does not mean abandoning structure. Parents can decide what food is offered, when meals happen, and where the family eats. The child can gradually learn to respond to hunger and fullness cues and decide how much to eat from the available choices.

Children with feeding disorders may need individualised support to ensure adequate nutrition and safe feeding.

Work on the emotional bond, not just the menu

Sometimes, our anxiety about a child’s eating becomes so intense that every interaction revolves around food.

The child may begin to associate mealtimes with pressure, disappointment, or conflict. Gradually, even the sight of a plate may trigger resistance.

Can we create opportunities to connect outside mealtimes?

Play together. Listen to their stories. Laugh, talk, and enjoy shared experiences without turning every conversation into advice or correction.

Let your child know that your love is not dependent on how much they eat, how well they perform, or how easily they follow instructions.

Unconditional love is not a reward for cooperation. It is the foundation of emotional security.

A secure emotional bond does not automatically resolve sensory or medical feeding difficulties, but it helps create a supportive environment in which the child can receive the care and guidance they need.

A final thought for parents and parent coaches

Picky eating requires patience, observation, consistency, and sometimes professional support. There is no single strategy that works for every child.

Our first responsibility is to understand whether we are dealing with a developmental phase, a sensory challenge, an underlying medical concern, or a more complex feeding difficulty. Only then can we decide which management approach is appropriate.

So, the next time your child pushes the plate away, pause before reacting.

Instead of asking, “Why won’t my child eat?”, try asking, “What might my child be experiencing, and how can I help?”

Because our goal is not merely to raise children who finish their plates. It is to nurture children who develop a healthy relationship with food, their bodies, and the people who care for them.

A gentle reminder: Sometimes, the first step towards better eating is not changing the food on the plate. It is changing how we understand the child sitting in front of us.

1
0 Share
MEGHA SHARMA published in Blogs

Connect Before Connecting: Building a Strong Bond with Your Child

When children do not feel connected to their parents or share a strong bond with them, they may begin to seek relationships outside the home.

Connection is not a one-day process; it is a lifelong journey. Just as a seed grows into a plant when it is watered and nurtured, a child needs love, care, and attention to grow emotionally and physically.

When a child is in the mother’s womb, the mother takes care of herself by paying attention to what she eats, taking the necessary medicines, and ensuring the child’s well-being. When the child enters the physical world through birth, they continue to need care, affection, and physical touch from their parents.

During the initial years, it is especially important for the mother to be present and provide the child with love, care, and security.

As parents, we need to learn how to build a strong bond with our children. We need to understand what quality time means and how we can spend it meaningfully with them. We should explore different ideas and put them into practice to strengthen our connection with our children.

As children grow, their efforts and achievements should be appreciated regularly. Appreciation should be expressed in front of others, while corrections should be made privately.

When children do not feel wanted or loved within their families, they may look for connection outside the home. When they do not find love at home, they may seek affection and acceptance elsewhere.

If they find the right people, it may be a positive experience. But what happens if they find the wrong partner or someone outside the home who gives them inappropriate advice? Such influences may lead them in the wrong direction.

As parents, it is our duty and responsibility to work on ourselves and strengthen our bond with our children.

So, how can you build a stronger connection with your child?

First, understand your child and take care of them like a flower. Use encouraging words that help them feel loved, valued, and confident.

To give more love to your child, you must also develop love within yourself.

We often become mechanical in our daily lives, managing responsibilities at home and at the office. Somewhere along the way, we forget ourselves and become so focused on completing tasks that we stop paying attention to our own emotional well-being.

The lives we lead often feel like a race. We are constantly competing with ourselves, trying to accomplish more and finish everything on time.

But what if we paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and looked within ourselves? What if we created space to reconnect with our inner selves and nurture love within us?

The irritation and stress caused by trying to complete every task on time, without giving ourselves enough rest, can affect our behaviour. We may unintentionally become impatient or react harshly toward our children, which can negatively affect their emotional growth.

That is why working on ourselves is so important.

When we take care of our own emotional well-being and connect with ourselves, we become better equipped to connect with our children.

Connect with yourself to connect with your child.

Connect Before Connecting.

  • no reactions
0
0 Share
Pushpa Vashist published in Blogs

The challenge of parenting- and the road to master it.

 

To learn any skill we have training, courses,  degrees available but parenting is that skill for which we don’t have any training or courses available. Every parent raises their children according to their own childhood experience. Parents want to raise their child in the best possible way.  Parents try to give their children all those possible things or facilities for which they were deprived of when they were a child. They tried to avoid those behaviours which they did not like when they were young. Every parent does their best for their children.

But an ignorant or unknowing parent makes some blunders in their parenting journey about which parents themselves don’t know, what would be the impact of that particular behaviour on their child’s mental health or their personality. The parent was never trained about how to behave with the child or how to handle the child in all the stages of the life during his parenting journey so that they can raise an independent child with an all rounder personality and who is happy, content and physically and mentally healthy.

The parent is implementing  all their insecurities, their mental health impact of  their own childhood trauma or experience on their own child.  They don’t have the proper approach or tools or techniques so that they can handle the child’s issues in a positive way because they were never told or educated on how to raise the child in a proper way. For example if any parent had  a very strict upbringing he will also try to give a strict parenting to his child and the child might grow into a young adult who is low in self esteem, self worth,  has difficulty in making decisions,  becomes introvert and is low in confidence.

 Or on the other hand parents may give too much of the liberty to the child and that too without limits and as a result the child can put his life at risk,  may develop any bad habit,  disrespecting others or grows into that kind of young adult who is overconfident, careless, irresponsible or with unhealthy physical and mental health.

Sometimes parents speak very negative or demotivating words to their children unwillingly. When the children are very young say at the age of 4 to 9 years their subconscious mind is always open to receive. The children at this age are highly receptive so whatever parents say to their child good or bad it becomes their  belief system and the words which they speak to their child  becomes their Anchors. If the parents say any negative sentence like ‘“you are duffer”,  “you are good for nothing”, “ you are not good enough”,” you cannot do anything in life”, these words become mantras in child’s mind and starts popping up again and again and the child starts believing in this. And when he grows up these words will always hold him back. He will not be able to make any decisions,  he will have self doubt,  over thinking and he will be seeking validation from others. The parents did not do this behaviour intentionally,  in fact parents love their child a lot, they care for the child and due to their  insecurity and fear of failure of their child they use these words so that the child will start doing well academically and get good scores in exams and become successful in his life. Parents were not aware of the impact of this behaviour or action.  In this case parents are not at fault. Parents were never trained on Parenting.  Parents were never taught how to parent their child.

 In our schools also the child who is scoring good grades in Maths and Science and whose linguistic and logical intelligence is high is supposed to be an intelligent child.  Parents too believe in that fact. But apart from it there are other multiple intelligences also. According to professor Harvard Gardner any ability which can bring you name,  fame, money and success is also termed as intelligence.  There are 8 types of Intelligence: 1. Linguistic 2. Logical  3. Visual 4. Physical 5. Musical 6. Interpersonal 7. Intrapersonal  8.Naturalist.  If the child is having any one intelligence from the above list he will be termed as intelligent.

From the ancient days the approach we used to raise the children was carrot and stick. But now in today’s scenario this approach is not effective on our delicate and sensitive children. Now the new approach invented by child psychology is to “Award and Ignore”.The good behaviour of the child should be rewarded and ignore the bad one.

We must have courage to encourage the positive behavior of our Child. We should catch the child doing good things or behaviour and encourage and appreciate it. It will give a positive reinforcement to the children. That is why parenting coaching is the need of the hour. Every parent should be trained to parent mindfully and recognise their responsibility. So that their children can reach their true potential and this cycle of generational trauma is broken,  so that their children will become highly responsible citizens of India with an all rounder personality. And India will become a nation of healthy minds, strong bodies and happy souls. Let us learn parenting better!

Your Parenting Coach

 Pushpa Vashist

(9034912593)

4
0 Share
Priti Manoj Karnavar published in Blogs

Power of appreciation

The Power of Appreciation in Child Development:

 Six Principles to Nurture Growth.

 

Appreciation is a cornerstone of healthy child development. It shapes a child’s self-esteem, motivation, and social skills. When children feel valued and recognized, they are more likely to thrive in their learning and interactions. Here are six essential principles of appreciation that can enhance your approach to nurturing a child’s growth.

 

  • Be Specific When Praising

 

Vague praise like “Good job!” often falls flat. Instead, be specific about what you’re acknowledging. For instance, saying, “I loved how you shared your toys with your friend today!” not only highlights the positive behaviour but also reinforces the value of sharing. Specific praise helps children understand what they did well, encouraging them to repeat those behaviours.

 

  • Praise the Efforts/Progress, Not Only Results

 

Focusing solely on outcomes can create pressure and fear of failure. Instead, celebrate the effort and progress a child makes, regardless of the final result. For example, saying, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that puzzle!” emphasizes perseverance and resilience. This approach fosters a growth mindset, teaching children that effort is just as important as success.

 

  • Praise and Correction Should Be at Separate Times

 

Mixing praise with correction can confuse children and undermine the effectiveness of both. When you need to offer constructive feedback, do so separately from praise. For example, acknowledge their hard work first, then address areas for improvement later. This strategy allows children to fully absorb your appreciation without feeling overwhelmed by criticism.

 

 

 

  • Praise Must Be Genuine and Sincere

 

Children can sense insincerity, which can lead to distrust and diminish their motivation. Make sure your praise is heartfelt and authentic. If you struggle to find something to praise, take a moment to observe your child’s efforts closely. Genuine appreciation fosters a strong emotional connection and encourages children to take pride in their achievements.

 

  • Praise in Public – Correct in Private

 

Public acknowledgment can boost a child’s confidence and reinforce positive behaviour. When a child does something commendable, celebrate it openly—like praising their performance in front of family or friends. However, keep corrections private to maintain their dignity and self-esteem. This balance helps children feel valued while also supporting their growth.

 

  • Accentuate the Positive

 

In every situation, there are opportunities to focus on the positives. By highlighting what children do well, you create an environment where they feel safe to explore and take risks. Instead of saying, “You missed a few questions on that test,” you could say, “You did really well on the questions you understood!” This encourages a sense of accomplishment and motivates them to keep trying.

 

  • Conclusion

The power of appreciation in child development is profound. By applying these six principles, you can help nurture a child’s self-esteem, resilience, and overall well-being. Remember, appreciation is not just a response; it’s a vital part of parenting and teaching. By making appreciation a regular practice, you contribute to a positive and supportive environment where children can flourish.

 

Start today: how can you show appreciation to a child in your life?

3
0 Share