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Shubha j Shashidhar published in Blogs

WHEN A PARENT BECOMES A TROLLER When Sarcasm at Home Comes Back with Wi-Fi Once upon a time, trolls lived under bridges. Today, they hide behind screens. But here’s the twist: some trolls don’t need Wi-Fi. They operate comfortably from the family dining table! MEET THE PARENTAL TROLLER A parental troller is a father or mother who uses sarcasm, ridicule, and humiliation as parenting tools, followed by the convenient disclaimer: “Arre, I was only joking!” Really? Because the teenager certainly isn’t laughing. “Look at Sharmaji’s son!” “Oh, His Highness has finally woken up!” “With your intelligence, even Google will resign!” Funny once, perhaps. But when sarcasm becomes breakfast, lunch, and dinner, emotional indigestion is inevitable. WHEN THE TROLL COMES HOME A friend once shared a disturbing situation involving her teenage son and husband. The father was a champion of sarcasm. Every mistake invited ridicule. Every disagreement became an opportunity to belittle his son. Lazy. Irresponsible. Good-for-nothing. The labels flowed freely. Then came the digital retaliation. The teenager began trolling his father incessantly on Facebook. Every post attracted mocking comments and embarrassing remarks. The furious father protested, “How dare my son disrespect me publicly!” The irony was unmistakable. Papa used the dining table. Beta discovered Meta. Same language, different platform! The son’s behaviour was unacceptable. But wasn’t the father providing daily lessons in disrespect? CHILDREN OFTEN LEARN THE LANGUAGE OF HUMILIATION LONG BEFORE THEY LEARN TO TYPE IT. THE INVISIBLE DAMAGE Adolescence is when identity, confidence, and independence begin to take shape. Repeated ridicule can damage three essential foundations. Confidence: Constant labels such as “stupid” or “useless” can become a teenager’s inner voice. Connection: Why share fears or failures with someone who turns every confession into a comedy show? Growth: Fear of humiliation discourages curiosity, experimentation, and the willingness to learn from mistakes. Sarcasm may win an argument but lose a relationship. FROM DINING TABLE TO DIGITAL WORLD Not every bullied child becomes a bully. Many grow into compassionate adults. However, humiliation, neglect, and poor communication can contribute to aggression. Patriarchal conditioning adds another layer. “Boys don’t cry!” “Be a man!” When vulnerability is mocked and aggression is celebrated, healthy emotional expression suffers. Social media offers anonymity, an audience, and the illusion of consequence-free retaliation. A teenager who feels powerless at home may discover a sense of artificial power behind a username. The bullied may become the bully. The silenced may become the loudest voice online. PARENTS, RETIRE FROM THE SARCASM DEPARTMENT! Replace “You’re hopeless!” with “Let’s discuss what went wrong.” Replace “Your phone deserves a degree!” with “Let’s agree on screen-time boundaries.” Direct communication isn’t permissive parenting. Firmness and respect can coexist. Teachers and coaches must reinforce respectful communication, but parents carry the primary responsibility. THE FINAL WORD Before blaming social media trolls, examine the language spoken at home. You cannot serve sarcasm for breakfast, humiliation for lunch, and ridicule for dinner, then expect empathy for dessert! A stranger’s trolling may hurt temporarily. A parent’s ridicule can echo for years. Dear parents, don’t become the first troll your child encounters—or the troll your child eventually imitates. Correct the behaviour, not the child’s worth. Build the bond, not the bully. Shubha J. Shashidhar Parenting Coach Sakhi Shubha Author of My Tool Kit for Life: Simple Tools for Profound Impact

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Shubha j Shashidhar published in Blogs

CAN A PARENTS BECOME A TROLLER??

 

WHEN A PARENT BECOMES A TROLLER

When Sarcasm at Home Comes Back with Wi-Fi

Once upon a time, trolls lived under bridges. Today, they hide behind screens.

But here’s the twist: some trolls don’t need Wi-Fi. They operate comfortably from the family dining table!

MEET THE PARENTAL TROLLER

A parental troller is a father or mother who uses sarcasm, ridicule, and humiliation as parenting tools, followed by the convenient disclaimer: “Arre, I was only joking!”

Really? Because the teenager certainly isn’t laughing.

“Look at Sharmaji’s son!”

“Oh, His Highness has finally woken up!”

“With your intelligence, even Google will resign!”

Funny once, perhaps. But when sarcasm becomes breakfast, lunch, and dinner, emotional indigestion is inevitable.

WHEN THE TROLL COMES HOME

A friend once shared a disturbing situation involving her teenage son and husband.

The father was a champion of sarcasm. Every mistake invited ridicule. Every disagreement became an opportunity to belittle his son.

Lazy. Irresponsible. Good-for-nothing.

The labels flowed freely.

Then came the digital retaliation.

The teenager began trolling his father incessantly on Facebook. Every post attracted mocking comments and embarrassing remarks.

The furious father protested, “How dare my son disrespect me publicly!”

The irony was unmistakable.

Papa used the dining table. Beta discovered Meta. Same language, different platform!

The son’s behaviour was unacceptable. But wasn’t the father providing daily lessons in disrespect?

CHILDREN OFTEN LEARN THE LANGUAGE OF HUMILIATION LONG BEFORE THEY LEARN TO TYPE IT.

THE INVISIBLE DAMAGE

Adolescence is when identity, confidence, and independence begin to take shape. Repeated ridicule can damage three essential foundations.

Confidence: Constant labels such as “stupid” or “useless” can become a teenager’s inner voice.

Connection: Why share fears or failures with someone who turns every confession into a comedy show?

Growth: Fear of humiliation discourages curiosity, experimentation, and the willingness to learn from mistakes.

Sarcasm may win an argument but lose a relationship.

FROM DINING TABLE TO DIGITAL WORLD

Not every bullied child becomes a bully. Many grow into compassionate adults.

However, humiliation, neglect, and poor communication can contribute to aggression.

Patriarchal conditioning adds another layer.

“Boys don’t cry!”

“Be a man!”

When vulnerability is mocked and aggression is celebrated, healthy emotional expression suffers.

Social media offers anonymity, an audience, and the illusion of consequence-free retaliation.

A teenager who feels powerless at home may discover a sense of artificial power behind a username.

The bullied may become the bully. The silenced may become the loudest voice online.

PARENTS, RETIRE FROM THE SARCASM DEPARTMENT!

Replace “You’re hopeless!” with “Let’s discuss what went wrong.”

Replace “Your phone deserves a degree!” with “Let’s agree on screen-time boundaries.”

Direct communication isn’t permissive parenting. Firmness and respect can coexist.

Teachers and coaches must reinforce respectful communication, but parents carry the primary responsibility.

THE FINAL WORD

Before blaming social media trolls, examine the language spoken at home.

You cannot serve sarcasm for breakfast, humiliation for lunch, and ridicule for dinner, then expect empathy for dessert!

A stranger’s trolling may hurt temporarily. A parent’s ridicule can echo for years.

Dear parents, don’t become the first troll your child encounters—or the troll your child eventually imitates.

Correct the behaviour, not the child’s worth. Build the bond, not the bully.

Shubha J. Shashidhar

Parenting Coach Sakhi Shubha

Author of My Tool Kit for Life: Simple Tools for Profound Impact

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Rekha Bansal published in Blogs

“Kaash Main bhi ladka hoti
”

“Kaash Main Bhi Ladka Hoti
”

A Thought That Returns Every Winter

Have you ever wished you were born a boy?

A few days ago, I was rearranging my cupboards, taking out winter clothes and packing away the summer ones.

And suddenly, a familiar thought crossed my mind.

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti
”

I smiled to myself.

Because this wasn’t the first time.

Almost every winter, while sorting clothes, arranging cupboards and managing the seasonal changes at home, this thought quietly visits me.

And not just during winters.

Sometimes, when I have to step out for a few hours and find myself mentally preparing an entire checklist.

Ghar mein sab manage ho jayega? Khaane ka kya hoga? Kya-kya pehle se arrange karna hai?

Sometimes, when I am managing my professional responsibilities alongside the countless little things that keep a home running.

And sometimes, during those painful days of menstruation, when life continues as usual, even though my body is asking for rest.

At such moments, I have wondered:

“Would life have been a little easier if I were a boy?”

Not because I don’t enjoy being a woman.

I love being a woman, a mother, an educator and everything else that I am.

But sometimes, I question the expectations that come with being one.

And then another thought strikes me.

Have boys ever thought, “Kaash main bhi ladki hota”?

Perhaps some have. But why does this wish seem so unfamiliar to us?

Is it because, somewhere, we have made being a boy appear more comfortable, more powerful and more privileged?

What Are We Really Teaching Our Boys?

I once came across a thought that stayed with me:

“Men are not taught how to be men. They are taught how NOT to be women.”

Think about the sentences we casually use.

“Ladkiyon ki tarah kyun ro raha hai?”

“Mard ban, strong ban!”

“Yeh ladkiyon wale kaam hain.”

“Boys don’t cry.”

What are we really communicating?

That crying is feminine.

That expressing emotions is weakness.

That household responsibilities belong to women.

And that being a man somehow means being different from, or superior to, a woman.

We may not intend to teach these beliefs, but children are continuously learning from our words, actions and everyday behaviour.

A little boy watches his mother prepare meals even when she is exhausted.

He watches his father relax while she continues working.

He notices who serves food, who clears the table, who remembers everyone’s needs, and whose needs come last.

And without anyone formally teaching him, he begins to understand what a woman’s role is supposed to be.

Similarly, a little girl watches the same things.

And perhaps, years later, while rearranging her cupboard, she too whispers:

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti
”

Change Doesn’t Begin in Society. It Begins at Home.

As an educator and parenting coach, I strongly believe that parents are a child’s first teachers, and home is the first classroom.

We talk so much about gender equality.

We encourage our daughters to study, become financially independent and achieve their dreams.

And rightly so.

But are we preparing our sons to share the responsibilities of everyday life?

Are we teaching them that cooking, cleaning, caring and managing a home are basic life skills, not gender roles?

Are we allowing our sons to cry without questioning their masculinity?

Are we teaching our daughters to speak up without calling them disrespectful?

And most importantly, are we modelling the equality we want our children to practise?

Because children learn far more from what they see than from what we preach.

A Small Reflection for Every Parent

Next time your son cries, don’t say, “Ladkiyon ki tarah mat ro.”

Simply ask, “Kya hua beta?”

Next time household work needs attention, involve your son and daughter equally.

Let them both learn responsibility, empathy, independence and respect.

And let our sons see that caring for a family is not only a woman’s responsibility.

We don’t need to raise girls who can do everything and boys who are excused from everyday responsibilities.

We need to raise human beings who can share both opportunities and responsibilities.

Maybe then, one winter, a woman rearranging her cupboard won’t find herself thinking:

“Kaash main bhi ladka hoti
”

Not because she has fewer responsibilities.

But because she no longer has to carry them alone.

Before we ask whether our children believe in equality, perhaps we need to ask ourselves:

“Kya hamare ghar mein equality sirf sikhayi jaati hai, ya jee bhi jaati hai?”

Rekha Bansal
Parenting Coach | Child & Adolescent Counsellor | Educator 
Founder, Focus Education

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Janette Michael Fernando published in Blogs

Are We Raising Confident Children- or Just Well-Behaved Children?

Confidence doesn’t always look like compliance. đŸŒ±
Children need space to question, choose, make mistakes and find their voice.

We often celebrate the child who sits quietly, follows instructions, never argues and always says, “Okay.” Some say, “What a well-behaved child!”

There is value in teaching children respect, boundaries, responsibility and consideration for others. But somewhere along the way, perhaps we need to pause and ask ourselves: Are we raising children who simply know how to behave or children who know how to think, speak and stand on their own?

Confidence doesn’t always look like compliance. A confident child may ask, “Why?” They may say, “I don’t agree.” They may suggest, “Can I try it another way?” They may admit, “I made a mistake.” They may even tell us, “I don’t feel comfortable with this.” These responses can sometimes feel challenging to adults. We may interpret questioning as disrespect, disagreement as defiance, or independence as stubbornness.

But what if some of these moments are actually opportunities for growth?

The difference between obedience and confidence

Obedience teaches a child to follow expectations. Confidence helps a child understand why those expectations exist and eventually develop the ability to make thoughtful choices independently. We certainly don’t want children growing up believing that every rule is optional. Children need boundaries. They need consistency. They need adults who provide guidance and structure. But they also need opportunities to develop their own voice.

If a child is constantly taught, “Don’t question me,” “Just do what you’re told,” or “Because I said so,” they may become very good at following directions.

But will they know what to do when an adult isn’t there to give them the answer?

Will they be able to recognise an unhealthy situation?

Will they speak up when something doesn’t feel right?

Will they make decisions when there isn’t a clear instruction to follow?

These are the skills that matter far beyond childhood.

Confidence needs room to practise

We cannot simply tell children to “be confident” and expect confidence to appear. Confidence develops through experience. It grows when children are allowed to make age-appropriate choices. It grows when their opinions are heard—even when the final decision belongs to the adult. It grows when mistakes are treated as opportunities to learn rather than reasons for shame. It grows when a child discovers: “My voice matters.” This doesn’t mean giving children complete freedom. It means creating safe spaces where they can practise independence within appropriate boundaries.

Instead of always saying, “Do this,” we might sometimes ask: “What do you think we should do?”

Instead of immediately correcting: “What made you choose that?”

Instead of solving every problem: “What could you try next?”

Small questions can create big shifts.

So, who are we really raising?

Perhaps the goal isn’t to raise children who never question us. Perhaps it is to raise children who know how to question thoughtfully. Not children who never disagree, but children who can disagree respectfully. Not children who never make mistakes, but children who can recover from them. Not children who simply follow instructions, but children who can eventually make wise decisions when we aren’t there to give the instructions. A well-behaved child may make our lives easier today. But a confident, thoughtful and responsible child is better prepared for the world they will inherit tomorrow.

So the next time your child asks “Why?”- Don’t see it only as a challenge rather see it as a little mind learning how to think.

đŸŒ± Faith in every child. Faith in every possibility. ❀

– Faith Labs

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Dr. Sangeeta Joshi published in Blogs

From Prescription to Connection, What 31 Years as a Pediatrician Taught Me About Real-Life Parenting

For over three decades, my days have been spent  examining children, tracking growth charts, and guiding parents through their children’s health and development. Early in my career, I  believed  good parenting was largely about following clear rules—getting nutrition right, maintaining routines, hitting developmental milestones, and enforcing  discipline .But watching thousands of families in my clinic and experiencing unpredictable reality of raising my own children—taught me a humbling truth: Children are not medical charts, and parenting doesn’t come with a standard prescription .Each child is different with unique  needs. Most important aspect is to understand the needs and be available to them emotionally.

  1. The Courage to Reflect & Unlearn

Today, my daughters are compassionate, independent, and successful young women whom I am immensely proud of. Yet  our parenting journey was far from flawless.  . Along side being a paediatrician ,I was a strict mother much like a typical Indian parent who expects a great deal from her children ,sometimes without understanding their perspective. Long working hours  ,clinical pressures and everyday life stress at times affected my responses.  My  rigid expectations around studies, reaction to seemingly minor issues and attempt to control their choices created  emotional distance .

For a long time ,I carried guilt of those mistakes. But as my daughters grew older, we started having honest conversations. I listened to their feelings, acknowledged where I had fallen short, and offered sincere apologies. That open communication rebuilt our bond stronger and more meaningful.

This experience taught me that it is never too late to repair a relationship.

Trust grows when we are  willing  to listen,   ,take responsibility and acknowledge our mistakes ,unlearning old habits and embracing more empathetic ways of connecting is a life long journey.

2.Why  parenting coach after 31Years as a Paediatrician?

Today  Parents have concerns that go beyond physical illnesses. They are concerned about emotional health ,behavioural challenges ,communication  and relationship with their children.

My  years as a pediatrician ,combined with my experiences as mother have helped me recognize the importance of addressing these concerns with empathy and understanding.

This is what inspires me to explore parenting coaching   ;helping parents navigate everyday challenges,understand their children better ,and strengthen their bond.

My goal is to help parents connect their dots between what they observe in their chidren’,s behaviour and what their children , might be feeling or needing emotionally.

  1. Three Key Insights for Today’s Overwhelmed Parents

If I could share three core takeaways from both my clinical experience and my personal journey with parents

  • Connection Precedes Correction

A child’s challenging behavior is almost always an attempt to communicate an unmet need or emotion they cannot yet communicate. Listening calmly and acknowledging  feelings can open doors that lectures cannot.

 

  • Your Calm is Contagious

Children absorb our emotional state and demeanor. When we react with anger or frustration , situation worstens.   Pausing to take a deep breath before responding to a meltdown is the single best gift you can give your household.

 

  • Drop the Guilt of Perfection

 Your children do not need a flawless parents.  They simply need a warm, present adults who are  willing to show up, listen, and grow alongside them .Mistakes are inevitable  .What matters is how we respond to them and whether we  make  sincere effort to repair and connect.

Conclusion

Parenting is not a medical exam where you score marks for flawless performance; it is an evolving, lifelong relationship built on mutual respect, ,love and understanding.

As parents ,l    et us give ourselves grace. When we make mistakes  ,let us use them as opportunities to reflect, unlearn  ,apologise and reconnect with your children.

After 31 years as a paediatrician and my own journey as a mother, one    lesson   stands out; the goal is not to be a perfect parent but to build a relationship in which child feels understood, ,,accepted and connected.

#ParentingJourney #PediatricianPerspective #PositiveParenting #ParentingMantras #ChildDevelopment

 

 

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Sunny Nagpal published in Articles, Blogs, Inspiration

Three Questions That Can Change Your Child’s World

From “What’s wrong with you?” to “I’m here. Let’s understand it together.”

By Brain Coach Sunny

Imagine this.

It’s 8:15 in the morning.

One child can’t find their socks. Another hasn’t finished their homework. The school bus is almost here. The lunchbox is still open. Your phone is ringing, the milk is boiling, and somebody has just announced that they don’t want to go to school today.

And then you hear yourself say


“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Silence.

A little face looks down.

You continue getting everything ready. The bus arrives. The day moves on.

But later, perhaps while folding clothes or washing a cup, you remember that little face.

And a quiet voice inside you asks, “Did I hurt my child?”

Dear Mumma, if you have ever been there, come, sit beside me for a moment. ❀

No judgement. No lecture. No parenting report card.

Just two human beings trying to do their best.

Because motherhood is not always a beautiful photograph with matching clothes and happy smiles. Sometimes, it is messy hair, unfinished work, tired eyes, big feelings and a heart that loves deeply but doesn’t always know what to do next.

And sometimes, the smallest change in a question can open the biggest door in a relationship.

Let’s explore three questions together.

1. “What’s wrong with you?” — Or am I simply overwhelmed?

We say these words in different ways.

“Why can’t you listen?”

“Why are you so careless?”

“Why can’t you be like your cousin?”

“Why do you always create problems?”

Most mothers don’t wake up in the morning planning to hurt their children.

They wake up planning to take care of them.

They want their children to be educated, confident, safe, successful and happy. They worry about marks, competition, screen time, friendships, safety and the future.

In today’s India, parenting can feel like running a race in which the finish line keeps moving.

One child has tuition. Another has swimming. Someone else is learning coding at age eight!

And somewhere along the way, a mother starts wondering, “Am I doing enough?”

When fear becomes louder than connection, even a small mistake can feel like a big problem.

A forgotten notebook becomes carelessness.

A tantrum becomes disrespect.

A poor mark becomes a prediction of the future.

A child’s difference becomes something to correct.

But what if we paused for a moment?

What if the child isn’t deliberately trying to make your day difficult?

Perhaps they are tired. Perhaps they are struggling to express an emotion. Perhaps they need clearer boundaries, more practice, reassurance or support.

We cannot know what is happening simply by looking at a behaviour. But we can begin by getting curious instead of jumping to conclusions.

A small Brain Coach Sunny reminder: Behaviour deserves understanding, not instant labelling.

And here’s something equally important.

Sometimes, the person who needs understanding first is YOU.

Perhaps you are exhausted. Perhaps nobody asked how your day was. Perhaps you have been carrying ten responsibilities and smiling through all of them.

You are a human being, Mumma. Not a machine with a saree, a lunchbox and unlimited patience!

You deserve care, too.

Your reflection question:

When your child tests your patience, what might you need in that moment — rest, help, reassurance, or a little kindness towards yourself?

Take a breath before you answer.

You may discover that the anger is only the top layer of a much deeper feeling.

And discovering that is not weakness. It is the beginning of awareness.

2. “What’s happening inside you?” — The beautiful art of getting curious

Imagine your child comes home from school, throws the bag on the floor and says, “I hate school!”

Your first response might be:

“Don’t talk like that! You have everything. Other children would love to have your opportunities.”

But what if you tried something different?

You sit beside your child.

You put your phone away.

And you ask gently:

“Something happened today, didn’t it? Would you like to tell me?”

Perhaps your child says another student laughed at their answer.

Perhaps they felt left out during a game.

Perhaps they couldn’t understand a lesson and were afraid of looking foolish.

Or perhaps they simply had a difficult day and don’t yet have the words to explain it.

You don’t have to solve everything immediately.

You don’t have to become a detective, therapist, teacher and motivational speaker in the same five minutes!

Sometimes, you can simply listen.

“Tell me more.”

“That sounds difficult.”

“I’m glad you told me.”

“Would you like a hug, some help, or a little time?”

These small responses tell a child something precious:

My feelings are welcome here. I don’t have to hide them to be loved.

This does not mean saying yes to every demand or allowing every behaviour. Children still need boundaries, responsibility and guidance.

It means offering those boundaries without making the child feel that their worth is in question.

And here’s where understanding your child’s individuality matters.

One child may talk through a problem. Another may need quiet time before opening up. One may learn best by doing. Another may love words, stories or pictures.

Some children express themselves loudly. Others become very quiet.

There is no single conversation that works perfectly for every child.

Get to know the little person in front of you.

Notice what lights them up. What frustrates them. What they keep practising without being asked. What they find difficult. What makes them feel safe enough to try again.

Their interests can offer clues to their strengths. Their struggles can show you where they need support.

Your child is not a school report waiting to be improved.

Your child is a person waiting to be understood.

Your reflection question:

If your child could tell you one thing without fearing your reaction, what do you think they would want you to understand?

Don’t rush to answer for them.

Create the space in which they can answer for themselves.

You might be surprised by the little world that opens up.

3. “I’m here. Let’s understand it together.” — The courage to repair

Now, let’s talk about the moments we wish we could take back.

The time you shouted.

The comparison you made.

The promise you forgot.

The day your child wanted to show you a drawing, but you were too busy to look.

The evening you reacted to a small mistake because you were carrying a very big day.

Dear Mumma, you cannot go back and change yesterday.

But you can choose what happens next.

You can walk into your child’s room, sit beside them and say:

“I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier.”

“I was upset, and I spoke harshly. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t deserve to be spoken to that way.”

“Next time, I’ll try to handle my feelings differently.”

“Can we talk about what happened?”

Notice something beautiful here.

You are not saying that every rule was wrong.

You are not giving up your role as a parent.

You are showing your child that people can take responsibility, apologise and try again.

You are teaching emotional courage through your own actions.

And perhaps your child will learn to say, “I’m sorry, too,” when they make a mistake.

Not because they are afraid of losing your love, but because they understand the value of repairing a relationship.

Connection is not about never having a difficult moment. It is about learning how to find your way back to each other.

And now, Mumma, there is one more person who deserves an apology.

You.

Yes, you.

The woman who is still thinking about that one impatient sentence.

The mother who keeps replaying yesterday’s mistake while preparing today’s breakfast.

The woman who loves her children so much that she sometimes forgets she is learning, too.

Can you place your hand on your heart and say:

“I am learning.”

“I am allowed to make mistakes.”

“I can take responsibility without hating myself.”

“I can do better without calling myself a bad mother.”

“I deserve the same kindness I want to give my child.”

Please remember this: forgiving yourself does not mean pretending that nothing happened. It means acknowledging what happened, repairing what you can and choosing a more helpful response next time.

Guilt can remind us to make things right. Shame tells us that we ourselves are wrong.

You can learn from your actions without turning them into a verdict on your entire motherhood.

You don’t need to punish yourself forever to prove that you love your child.

Your reflection question:

What is one moment in your parenting journey that you are ready to learn from, make amends for, and finally stop using to punish yourself?

Give yourself permission to begin again.

Your child is growing.

And so are you.

A little game for Mumma and Me

Tonight, try a five-minute connection game.

No teaching. No correcting. No checking homework.

Just five minutes of being together.

Take turns completing these three sentences:

❀ I feel loved when


đŸŒ± Something I wish you understood about me is


đŸ€— One thing we can do together this week is


Let your child answer first if they wish. Listen without arguing with their feelings. You can share your own answers, too.

If the conversation feels awkward, smile. You’re learning a new language together — the language of understanding.

And if your child doesn’t want to talk today, that’s okay. Connection can also begin with drawing, playing, walking, reading or simply sitting beside each other.

Small moments, repeated with care, can make a meaningful difference.

My promise as Brain Coach Sunny

My mission comes from a deeply personal place.

I know what it feels like to receive things and still long to feel understood, supported and appreciated.

I know how easily self-doubt, fear and feelings of not being enough can follow us into adulthood.

And I believe every child deserves the opportunity to grow up discovering their worth, their strengths and their unique way of being in the world.

I want to help mothers understand their children’s individual needs, recognise their gifts, and nurture relationships where children feel seen, heard, loved, valued, appreciated and understood.

Not through perfect parenting.

Not through endless pressure.

But through awareness, connection, curiosity and love.

Because our children don’t need us to build a childhood in which nothing ever goes wrong.

They need us to help them discover that when things do go wrong, they can ask for help, learn, repair and begin again.

And mothers deserve that same grace.

So, the next time your child struggles, remember our three questions:

1. What’s wrong with you?
Pause. Notice your own feelings before reacting.

2. What’s happening inside you?
Get curious. Listen. Discover what your child might need.

3. I’m here. Let’s understand it together.
Connect. Guide. Repair. Grow together.

Three questions.

One relationship.

A thousand opportunities to begin again.

And perhaps, one day, your child will grow up and remember:

“My mother wasn’t perfect. But she tried to understand me. And when she made mistakes, she came back, held my hand and tried again.”

Dear Mumma, that is a beautiful legacy to leave.

You are not just raising a child. You are helping shape the voice they may one day use to speak to themselves.

Let that voice be kinder.

Let that voice be stronger.

Let that voice say, “I am worthy of love, even when I make mistakes.”

And let that journey begin with you.

With love, a smile and a little more kindness for yourself,

Brain Coach Sunny

Decode before you develop. Connection before correction.

One final question for you, Mumma:

What is one sentence you wish someone had said to you when you were a little girl — and could you say those words to your child today?

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Subodh Langde published in Articles, Blogs

Career Confusion in Teenagers: How Parents Can Help Without Adding Pressure

Your child doesn’t need to have their entire future figured out today. They need the confidence, support, and freedom to discover it.
“Beta, 10th ke baad kya karna hai?”
“Science loge ya Commerce?”
“Engineering, Medical, CA, ya kuch aur?”
For many Indian teenagers, these questions begin long before they understand their own interests, strengths, or aspirations. What starts as a simple conversation about the future can gradually become a source of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.
Career confusion is not a sign that a child lacks ambition. Sometimes, it means they haven’t had enough opportunities to understand themselves.

Why Are Teenagers So Confused About Their Careers?

Today’s teenagers have more career options than ever before. Along with traditional careers such as engineering, medicine, and commerce, they can explore technology, design, sports, entrepreneurship, digital media, psychology, and many emerging fields.

But more options do not automatically mean more clarity.

Here are three common reasons behind career confusion.

1. Pressure to follow the crowd

When friends choose Science, a student may feel compelled to do the same. When relatives praise a particular profession, children may believe that choosing anything else means settling for less.

They start asking, “What will people think?” instead of “What is right for me?”

2. Fear of making the wrong decision

Many students believe that one decision after Class 10 or Class 12 will determine their entire future. This fear can make them overthink every option or avoid making a decision altogether.

They need to understand that career decisions matter, but learning, experience, and changing interests can also open new paths.

3. Limited self-awareness and exposure

A student may know the names of popular professions without understanding what the work actually involves.

They may choose a career based on salary, social status, family expectations, or what they see online rather than their interests, abilities, values, and willingness to develop the required skills.

What Can Parents Do Differently?

Parents play an important role in career development. However, supporting a child is different from deciding their future for them.

Here are four practical steps parents can begin today.

1. Replace interrogation with curiosity

Instead of repeatedly asking, “What do you want to become?”, try asking:

  • Which subjects or activities make you curious?
  • What kind of problems do you enjoy solving?
  • What activities make you feel engaged and confident?
  • What would you like to explore before making a decision?

These questions help children reflect instead of feeling pressured to provide an immediate answer.

2. Focus on strengths, not just marks

Marks are useful indicators of academic performance, but they do not tell the complete story of a child’s potential.

Observe how your child thinks, communicates, creates, solves problems, works with others, and responds to challenges.

Encourage them to explore their strengths while also recognising the skills they need to develop.

3. Give them opportunities to explore

Career clarity grows through experience, not just conversations.

Encourage your child to attend career talks, explore reliable career assessments, speak with professionals, try relevant projects, or participate in workshops.

Help them understand the education, skills, daily responsibilities, and realities associated with different careers.

4. Build confidence before demanding clarity

A child who fears criticism may hide their doubts or choose an option simply to please their parents.

Create an environment where they can say, “I’m confused,” without feeling that they have disappointed you.

Your message should be: “We don’t have to know every answer today. We will explore the options together.”

A Simple Activity to Start Today

Set aside 15 minutes with your child. Keep phones away and discuss three questions:

  1. What are three activities or subjects you genuinely enjoy?
  2. What are two careers you would like to understand better?
  3. What is one small step we can take this week to explore one of them?

Do not evaluate their answers immediately. Listen, ask follow-up questions, and agree on one practical next step.

Repeat this conversation periodically as your child learns more about themselves.

The Real Goal Is Career Readiness, Not Just Career Selection

As parents, we naturally want our children to be successful and secure. But the most valuable support we can offer is not a ready-made career decision.

It is the ability to understand themselves, evaluate choices, develop skills, adapt to change, and make informed decisions with confidence.

At Rise Together — The Parent & Student Growth Journey, I believe that career clarity begins with self-awareness, grows through exploration, and becomes stronger when parents and children work together.

Your child may not know what they want to become today. That is okay.

Don’t rush to decide their future. Help them discover it.

Subodh Langde is a Parent & Student Growth Coach who helps Indian families with teenagers in Classes 9–12 build confidence, improve communication, strengthen study habits, and approach career decisions with greater clarity.

Start a conversation with your child today. Their future needs your guidance—not your pressure.

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Dr. Nidhi (Meher) published in Blogs

Before We Guide Our Children’s Behavior, Let’s Connect with Their Emotions

Understanding the emotion behind a child’s behavior can open the door to deeper connection, communication and growth.

Every child has a story unfolding within them. Every emotion offers us a glimpse into that story.

As parents, we want our children to grow with confidence, curiosity, kindness and the courage to express themselves. My journey as an educator and mother has taught me that parenting is not just about guiding children; it is also about discovering who they are and growing alongside them.

A Little Room, A Big Lesson

When my elder son was young, we had an empty room with no furniture. Gradually, it became his canvas. He painted on the walls freely, exploring colors and expressing his imagination.

Looking back, I see that experience as an important lesson in childhood expression. When children feel safe to explore, their creativity can reveal so much about their inner world. Children communicate in many ways—through words, colors, movement, stories, questions and actions. Each offers us an opportunity to understand their perspective.

That experience became one of the seeds of my journey towards Creative Parenting.

Every Child Brings a New Lesson

When my younger son arrived, I discovered another way of seeing the world. He was energetic, curious and creative in his own unique way. I found myself observing more closely, adapting and discovering fresh ways to engage with him.

This deepened my understanding that every child has an individual temperament, rhythm and way of expressing emotions.

A moment of excitement, a request for independence or a desire for attention can invite us to pause and ask: What might my child be feeling right now?

Curiosity encourages listening, and listening helps us understand a child’s perspective before deciding how to guide the moment.

The Inner Awareness Framework: Growing Together

Over time, I realized that understanding my children also meant understanding myself. When a child expresses a strong emotion, I have an opportunity to notice my own feelings, reflect on my response and choose how I wish to guide the situation.

This is where my developing concept, the Inner Awareness Framework (IAF), finds its place in Creative Parenting.

For parents, inner awareness involves recognizing emotions, reflecting on responses and making thoughtful choices. For children, it means gradually learning to identify feelings, express needs and understand themselves with age-appropriate guidance.

It is a shared journey: as parents and children grow in awareness, everyday interactions become opportunities for deeper understanding.

From Behavior to Understanding

Imagine a child who wants a few more minutes to finish a game while the parent is ready to move on.

The parent can acknowledge the child’s enthusiasm while explaining the need to transition. Together, they might agree to finish the current round before moving to the next activity.

The boundary remains clear, and the child’s feelings receive attention too.

Creativity can make these conversations easier and more engaging. Drawing feelings, telling stories, using puppets or playing cooperative games can give children different ways to express themselves and share their experiences.

We Grow Alongside Our Children

My journey as an educator, mother and author continues to remind me that parenting is a process of mutual growth. As children discover themselves, we discover new dimensions of ourselves as parents.

Through my book, Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey, I explore how creativity, emotional awareness and meaningful connection can become part of everyday family life.

The next time your child expresses a strong emotion, take a moment to listen, invite conversation and explore a way forward together. A small moment of understanding can become a lasting memory of connection.

Before we guide a child’s behavior, let’s connect with the emotion behind it. That is where meaningful parenting begins.

Continue Your Creative Parenting Journey

My book, Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey, brings together reflections and practical ideas from my journey as an educator, mother and author.

If you would like to explore how creativity can become a meaningful part of your parenting journey, you can find the book on Amazon.

📖 Explore the book: https://amzn.in/d/04wjmgFq

Dr. Nidhi (Meher)
Educator ‱ Speaker ‱ Author
Creative Parenting: Craft Your Child’s Journey

Empowering Through Creativity

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Sunny Nagpal published in Articles, Blogs, Community, Inspiration

What if the child who worked so hard to make everyone proud was simply longing to feel loved?

Sweet 42.

I am deeply grateful to my parents. They did their best, just as most parents do, with the love, understanding and resources they had.

They gave me so much.

And yet, somewhere inside me, there was a little boy who needed more appreciation, emotional support, reassurance and care.

Both things can be true.

You can be grateful for your parents and still acknowledge what your younger self needed.

For years, I wanted love.
Validation.
Approval.
Guidance from people I trusted.

I kept myself busy. Working. Achieving. Performing. Helping others. Trying to become better.

From the outside, it might have looked like ambition.

But deep inside, I now wonder


Was I trying to achieve something, or was I trying to earn a feeling?

The feeling of being enough.
Of being appreciated.
Of being seen.
Of being loved, without having to do anything extraordinary to deserve it.

Perhaps you know that feeling, too.

Perhaps you were the child who scored well, behaved well, made everyone proud or learned to hide tears behind a smile.

Perhaps you became the dependable adult who takes care of everyone but quietly wishes someone would ask, “And how are YOU doing?”

If this touches something inside you, pause for a moment.

You are not weak for having needed love.

You were a child.

And children need more than food, education, clothes and opportunities. They need to feel emotionally safe, valued, understood and accepted.

Our parents may have given us everything they knew how to give. Yet some of our emotional needs may have remained unnamed, even to ourselves.

For a long time, I didn’t know how to name mine.

And because I couldn’t name them, I couldn’t consciously learn to meet them.

I kept looking outside for something I had never learned to offer myself.

The Brain Coach’s Discovery

Through years of exploring brain patterns, human behaviour and innate strengths, I began noticing something fascinating.

Some people seem naturally comfortable taking risks, expressing themselves, receiving appreciation and trusting their abilities.

Others struggle with self-doubt, fear of rejection and the need for approval.

Our inborn temperament, experiences, relationships and environment can all influence how we respond to life. But our starting point doesn’t have to be our finishing point.

What comes naturally to one person can become a skill that another person learns.

Self-awareness can be learned.
Emotional vocabulary can be developed.
Self-compassion can be practised.
Confidence can grow.
And healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others can be nurtured.

That realisation changed something in me.

Brain decoding was never just about understanding someone’s strengths.

It was about understanding the human being behind those strengths.

And yesterday, something became even clearer.

I discovered my WHY.

I don’t want children to grow up believing they must hide their feelings, suppress their needs, perform perfectly or keep winning approval just to feel worthy of love.

I don’t want mothers to spend years wondering why their children behave differently from one another, why one needs encouragement while another needs space, or why the same parenting approach works for one child but not the other.

I want us to become curious about the little human being in front of us.

Not just, “How can I make my child behave?”

But, “What might my child be feeling, needing or trying to communicate?”

Because sometimes, behind the anger is frustration.

Behind the silence is a need for safety.

Behind the constant achievement is a fear of disappointing someone.

And behind the words “I’m fine” may be a child who doesn’t yet know how to say, “Please understand me.”

Of course, no single behaviour tells us exactly what a child feels. We have to listen, observe and ask with love.

Self-Love Is the Noodles. Love From Others Is the Sauce.

Years ago, I created a video using this metaphor.

Imagine sitting down to eat a delicious plate of noodles.

The noodles are your relationship with yourself.

The sauce is the love, appreciation and approval you receive from others.

The sauce makes the meal richer. It adds flavour, joy and connection.

We all need love from other people. Human beings thrive through caring relationships.

But what happens when you have only sauce and no noodles?

You may keep looking for another spoonful, another compliment, another achievement, another person to tell you that you matter.

And still, something feels missing.

Because the sauce was never meant to be the entire meal.

Cook your own noodles, my friend. ❀

Learn to appreciate yourself.
Listen to your emotions.
Respect your needs.
Celebrate your progress.
Speak to yourself with kindness.

Let other people’s love be the beautiful sauce that adds flavour to a life you are already learning to nourish.

And here’s my honest confession.

I could explain this metaphor intellectually long before I could fully live it.

Talking about self-love was easier than practising it on the days I felt unseen, unappreciated or uncertain.

Knowing the lesson and embodying it are two different journeys.

I am still learning.

And, for the first time, I am learning to enjoy the journey instead of treating myself like another project that needs fixing.

Perhaps healing begins when we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and gently begin asking, “What have I needed, and how can I care for myself now?”

The Little Acronym I Wish Every Parent Knew: S.E.E.N.

If you care for a child between 0 and 12, here is a simple reminder.

S — Stop and notice.
Look beyond the behaviour. What might your child be experiencing?

E — Explore their emotions.
Ask, “Are you feeling disappointed, worried, excited or something else?”

E — Encourage their uniqueness.
Notice their interests, natural strengths, pace and individual way of approaching the world.

N — Nurture without comparison.
Help them grow without making them feel they must become someone else to deserve your approval.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent.

You don’t need to get every conversation right.

Sometimes, the most powerful words are these:

“I may not understand yet, but I want to.”

“Tell me more.”

“You don’t have to win to make me proud.”

“I love you when you succeed, and I love you when you struggle.”

Imagine hearing those words as a child.

Imagine what they might have meant to you on the day you came home with disappointing marks, lost a competition, made a mistake or simply couldn’t explain why you were crying.

Perhaps you would have cried a little less.

Perhaps you would have smiled a little sooner.

Perhaps you would have felt safe enough to be yourself.

And perhaps, as an adult, you are now learning to offer yourself some of that same kindness.

It’s not too late.

You can honour your childhood without remaining trapped in it. You can be grateful for your parents while acknowledging your pain. You can love your family and still learn new ways of loving yourself.

That is not betrayal.

That is growth.

As psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

My Dream for Every Mother and Child

I dream of a world where children don’t have to become toppers to feel valued.

Where quiet children aren’t mistaken for weak children.

Where sensitive children aren’t told to stop feeling.

Where energetic children aren’t defined only by their restlessness.

Where children can discover their strengths without being compared to their siblings, classmates or neighbours.

Where mothers understand that their child isn’t a problem to be solved, but a person to be understood.

And where mothers also receive the same compassion they so freely give their children.

Because this is a win-win.

When we understand our children’s individual nature, we can respond with greater awareness instead of reacting from frustration.

When we understand ourselves, we can begin to recognise which reactions come from the present moment and which may be connected to our own unmet needs.

And when we learn to pause, listen and respond with care, we give the next generation an opportunity to grow with greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and confidence.

This doesn’t guarantee a perfect childhood or a life without struggles.

It offers something beautiful: a better starting point.

A child who learns that emotions can be named, mistakes can be discussed, strengths can be nurtured and love doesn’t have to be earned through constant performance.

That is the kind of leadership I want us to nurture.

Not leadership that needs to prove its worth every day.

But leadership that grows from knowing who you are, respecting others and having the courage to contribute your gifts.

At 42, I am learning to give myself some of what I spent years seeking from the world.

And I am grateful.

Grateful for my parents.
Grateful for my experiences.
Grateful for the work that helped me understand people.
Grateful for the little boy I once was, who kept trying so hard.

He wasn’t broken.

He was learning.

And perhaps, in some ways, so are we all.

If you are a mother of a child aged 0–12, or you know someone who is, please share this message.

Let’s help more families discover the beauty of understanding a child’s innate nature, nurturing their individual strengths and creating homes where children feel seen, heard, loved, valued, appreciated and understood.

Because the earlier we begin, the more opportunities we create for children to develop healthy ways of understanding themselves and relating to the world.

And if you are an adult still learning to love yourself, this message is for you, too.

You deserve kindness today, not only after your next achievement.

Sending smiles. 😊
Sending love.
And a little extra appreciation for the child you once were.

One question to sit with today:

If the little child you once were could sit beside you right now, what would they most need to hear from you — and what is one thing you could do today to help them feel loved?

I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.

With gratitude,
Brain Coach Sunny

#Gratitude #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #Leadership #SelfEsteem #GrowthMindset

 

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Baggineni Divya published in Articles, Blogs

When Your 10-Year-Old Stops Telling You Things

“Fine.” “Nothing.” “Nothing happened.”

You ask, “How was your day?” He says, “Fine.” You ask, “What did you do?” He says, “Nothing.” And that is the end of the conversation.

Not long ago, this same child told you everything: who sat next to him, what the teacher said, what made him laugh until his stomach hurt. Now you get one-word answers, and a small voice in your head asks, what did I miss? If this is happening at your house, take a breath. It is far more common than you think, and it is not a sign that you are failing.

 

Rahul and the Evening Questions

Let me tell you about a boy I will call Rahul. He is ten. The moment he got home, his father, Ramesh, would start: “Did you eat your tiffin? How was the test? Who did you play with? Why are you so quiet?” Rahul gave short answers and slipped away to his room. Ramesh was not a bad father. He was a worried one. But to Rahul, every question felt like an exam he had not studied for. One evening, Ramesh tried something different. He stopped asking. He sat on the front step with his tea, and when Rahul came out to kick his ball against the wall, Ramesh picked up a second ball and joined in. They played for ten minutes without a word. On the fourth day, Rahul said, without looking up, “A boy in my class said I run like a duck.” That was the door. It had been waiting to open all along.

 

Connection Before Correction

Between eight and twelve, children start seeing themselves through other people’s eyes. Friends matter more. A teacher’s remark sticks. One comment in the corridor can feel enormous. Your child is not pulling away from you. They are learning to carry a bigger world, and they are not yet sure whether home is a safe place to set it down. This is where I ask parents to hold on to one idea: connection before correction. A child who feels connected will listen. A child who feels judged will hide. Every question we ask before we have connected sounds like a correction, even when we do not mean it that way.

 

Meera and the Maths Homework

Here is another story. Meera, a mother, told me about a night that went badly. Her eleven-year-old, whom I will call Mahanvi, was stuck on fractions and started to cry. Meera was exhausted after a long day and snapped, “You understood this yesterday. Why are you making it so hard?” The bedroom door slammed. Both of them ended up crying, in separate rooms. Later, Meera did something that took real courage. She knocked, sat on the floor beside Mahanvi’s bed and said, “I was tired and I spoke badly. Fractions are hard. Shall we look at them together tomorrow?” Mahanvi did not say much. But she moved over and made room. A repair like that is worth more than a perfect evening. Children do not need flawless parents. They need parents who come back.

 

Three Small Things to Try This Week

  1. Talk side by side. Car rides, evening walks, folding clothes together. Ten-year-olds open up when they do not have to look you in the eye.
  2. Change your question. Instead of “How was your day?”, try “What was the funniest thing today?” or “Was anything hard today?”
  3. Give ten undivided minutes. Phone away, no advice, no fixing. Let your child lead the conversation, even if it is about their game.

 

A Last Thought

Your child is not drifting away. They are growing, and they still need you, just in a different way. Stay close, stay curious and keep the door open. If this spoke to you, I would love to welcome you into the Bond & Bloom Community, where we learn together how to raise calm, confident children without breakdowns or burnout.

 

With love,

Divya Baggineni Parent–Child Mindset Coach | Founder, Bond & Bloom Community

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Mubashira Begum published in Blogs

MOM GUILT

                                                 MOM GUILT

 

Research says 75% of women are living in the guilt of not being a perfect mother. It is called MOM GUILT. 

Mom guilt arises  from the pressure to meet high standards of parenting, often leaving you feeling inadequate. It is normal for everyone to experience these emotions.

If you are a new parent and you need to leave your baby and go to work , you will feel guilty, you try to balance your work and home, sometimes it may be overwhelming. Most of the time we start comparing ourselves with our mothers, our friends,and of course social media also has lots of affect on our mental status.

 

WHAT IS MOM GUILT?

 

Mom guilt is a feeling of not being a good mother. It’s a normal feeling that every mother experiences in regards to the care of the child.

It may be in many forms, for example I Am not able to spend much time with my child, I don’t have patience, not able to give that perfect life, I want to give a better life to my children, the list is endless. 

 

We are living in a society where expectations from a mother are more.That leads to the feeling of guilt is more in women.

Mom guilt is normal in all women. It is because of the societal pressure and personal expectation to be a perfect mom. There are effective measures to manage them. Accept that it’s normal and you are not alone on this journey. You can overcome this guilt.

 

CAUSES OF MOM GUILT

 

Mothers experience this feeling when they are working professionals, they may not be able to give the time to the baby. They may feel angry, sometimes aggressive, experience anxiety, they may go on guilt trips, postpartum depression, comparing others.

 

HOW TO OVERCOME MOM GUILT

 

It’s very important to take care of yourself as you take care of your baby.

 

  • Practise self love
  • Communicate with others and ask for help
  • Identify people who can help you
  • Let go of expectations
  • Practise gratitude
  • If possible hire an extra help
  • Schedule some time to relax
  • Listen To your favorite music
  • Dance or play along with your child 
  • Have a good sleep

 

Mom guilt is a normal feeling, it’s a part of your parenting journey.By following these simple techniques you can overcome it.Make your parenting journey stress free and joyful. Happy parenting.

 

Mubashira 

Parenting coach

(20/01/2025)

 

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Sayed Israr Ali Ishaque published in Blogs

Parenting FOMO Child

In today’s digital world, many children are growing up with a constant fear of missing out, commonly known as FOMO. Social media, online gaming, and peer pressure often make children feel that everyone else is having more fun, achieving more success, or enjoying better opportunities than they are. This mindset can create anxiety, dissatisfaction, and a constant desire to keep up with others rather than appreciating their own lives. Research shows that social media comparisons can significantly contribute to feelings of FOMO among children and teenagers.
 
One of the biggest challenges for parents is that FOMO does not only affect children—it can affect parents as well. Many parents feel pressured to enroll their children in numerous classes, activities, and programs because they fear their child may fall behind others. This “FOMO parenting” often leads to overscheduling, stress, and unrealistic expectations. Instead of focusing on what is truly beneficial for the child, parents may begin comparing themselves and their children with others.
 
To address this issue, parents need to help children develop a strong sense of self-worth and gratitude.  Children should be encouraged to understand that social media often shows only the highlights of people’s lives, not the complete reality.  Open conversations about emotions, disappointments, and comparisons can help children process their feelings in a healthy manner.  Encouraging hobbies, family time, and real-world experiences can also reduce dependence on online validation.
 
Parents can also introduce the concept of JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out.  JOMO teaches children that it is perfectly acceptable not to participate in every event, trend, or activity.  By learning to enjoy quiet moments, family bonding, personal interests, and rest, children develop contentment and emotional resilience.  Rather than chasing every opportunity, they learn to make intentional choices that align with their values and well-being.
 
Ultimately, raising children in the age of FOMO requires parents to focus on connection rather than comparison. When children feel loved, emotionally secure, and accepted for who they are, they become less dependent on external approval. Parents who model gratitude, balance, and mindful living teach their children one of life’s most valuable lessons: happiness comes not from having everything, but from appreciating what we already have.
Thank You for your time…
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